KYLIE

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“I like the name Gwendolyn for a girl and Murphy for a boy…” Kylie confessed with an unsure look on her face. She winced worried she’d bring up painful memories for Jon.

“I think both of those names are lovely. Papa Silas and Mom will feel honored when you share your preference, but I like Marie for a girl or Yesh a for a boy…” Jon said.

Kylie rolled her eyes wishing she could argue with him over those names. He like Marie because it’s a form of Mary, the mother of Jesus, and he likes Yesh, short for Yeshua, the Hebrew name of Jesus. Jon believes names are prophetic statements over once’s life… that a name can help shape who you become… that’s why God changed peoples names in the Bible or said what their names should be before they were born.

Kylie stuck her nose back in her book-styled tablet. The paper-light made it similar to reading an old-fashioned paper book. And though Kylie had plenty of regular paper books to choose from in the manor, with the rare blessing to be the newest, and youngest Philosopher’s Wife, she was used to using a book-tablet for all her reading like when she grew up in a Sanctuary.

The sudden touch of Jon’s cold, large, slender hands on her bulging middle made her heart skip a beat for a moment. She closed her book-tablet, and set it in the middle of the bed. She watched Jon lay sideways on the bed, his torso facing her, while his face was fixed on the exterior of her womb. Gently, he rested his forehead and his lips moved but no sound came out. He was praying for their unborn child. She could feel the warmth of the Holy Spirit flow from his hands and into the baby’s chamber. The baby began to kick and move around. Kylie giggle trying not to let the discomfort the baby gave bother her. She imagined the baby was dancing.

In Romans, the Bible says we are all born with the knowledge of God… her heart’s deepest prayer was that her baby would never forget about God. She prayed that God would lead the child to the path of eternal life.

If she knew God when she was pregnant with Bailey’s and Garrison’s daughter… she would have prayed the same… She’s so big now. She’s the 97th percentile for 7 year olds in height, She towers over all boys and girls. Kylie didn’t think her egg and Garrison’s sperm would make such a beautiful, tall, lanky kid. She worried the kid would be ugly. With the exception of Gwendolyn, the Angelcrest’s looked like the trolls that hung out under the bridge… not pretty. Kylie personally doesn’t find herself pretty, but little Taylor is the most gorgeous girl that ever lived.

Sometimes she wished Taylor could be her daughter instead of her niece… but right now, Kylie held the title of most awesome aunt in the world! As long as Kylie kept that what could go wrong.

When Jon finished praying, he used his elbows on the mattress to crawl to meet Kylie face to face.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

“Only every chance you see me…”

“I love you,” He said as kissed Kylie on the lips.

There’s no one more she loved kissing than her husband of three amazingly sweet years. Though sometimes it was weird for her.

She remembers when they were much younger and kissing like this gave her anxiety. Where she felt tortured being treated like a girl. How when Nix would touch Lore’s breast she hated herself for being a woman and was depressed she wasn’t a man, like Nix. She would sometimes picture being the man and even though it wasn’t true, thinking that way helped her cope…

If she didn’t think like a man she may have killed herself. Because every time she had to look at her naked body, not matching how she felt on the inside, she desired death opposed to the living hell she was in… Two things kept her going in the Sanctuary… Her friendship with Nix and the chance for I.D. Synthesis.

“I love you,” Kylie said when they paused for air and she kissed him back.

Kissing Jon now made her feel every bit a woman. She felt a subtle power in being a woman- a life giver because only woman can bear and deliver children. As a woman she found peace in following Jon’s lead. She looked to him to be her guiding light and when Jon was weary and when Jon needed help, in those times she felt called to be his comfort and to be his support. Every day, she got up, she would spend time with God in her secret place, in her mind as she pretended to do her morning yoga, but then the rest of her day was spent making sure Jon got what he needed, and every need she had Jon did his best to meet it. Yes, they both failed everyday to be everything for one another, and they didn’t need each other, but they both chose to need each other.

Jon gently settled away from sucking Kylie’s face and laid on his side, holding up his head his hand on bended elbow. He lied there in his night tee and bed shorts like a total king and Kylie wanted more… if she wasn’t the size of an elephant… it was more work at this stage of pregnancy to get laid than it was worth… in her opinion… but not all women are like Kylie.

“Tomorrow, the Panel requested to see my latest Philosophy in pamphlet form… isn’t that cool?”

“No!” Kylie panicked. That meant he had to share his sources and all of it came from the Bible, using a portion is okay, but using all of it isn’t…

“Relax… whatever will be will be…”

Another topic she wanted to argue about with Jon. He could at least postpone to do something that could kill him until after the baby was born… but the Kylie thought what if one of the Philosopher’s needed to be reminded of the truth before their last breath…

She thought about the sacrifices both Gwendolyn and Murphy made for her.

GWENIE THE DEARLY BELOVED

‘I am grieved that my daughter will forever be known for supporting an ideology that spread bigotry, hatred, homophobia, and down-right judgmental thoughts and attitudes… but that doesn’t change the fact she was my daughter, dearly beloved. She was the wife of my brilliant apprentice I am honored to call son. Her laugh, her smile, her zeal of life will never be forgotten. She will forever be treasure in my heart. Her mother’s heart. Her brother’s heart. Gwendolyn Celeste Angelcrest Fenix aka Gwenie– is her own paradise fashioned by the delusion built on her faulty belief systems– and knowing she now rejoined with the deity that surrounds us, that is in us all and in all things, gives me peace of mind.’ Silas said at her for Gwenie’s eulogy.

Jon cried heavy tears the entire time. Kylie held his hand trying to be a comfort but knew she wasn’t. Gwenie was his wife for two years and he loved her deeeply. Jaya sat on the other side of Jon, rubbing his back in a circular motion.

Kylie’s mind was plagued with guilt for betraying Gwenie like Judas did to Jesus.

A few weeks before Gwenie was arrested at Taylor’s first birthday, at Garrison’s and Bailey’s home… Kylie was summoned to report to her Sanctuary for a spontaneous evaluation. At her second to last evaluation Kylie requested an extension to be an egg donor and surrogate for Bailey and Garrison. Bailey transitioned from a male to a female but still couldn’t have children. The Society agreed to stop her IDS, allow her to fulfill her duty to her family for however long it took and six months after giving birth should resume her IDS for six more months and then transition into a male like she originally desired.

Six months after giving birth, Kylie wasn’t sure about becoming male. Something about giving birth didn’t make her hate being a woman anymore.

In the last month of pregnancy, she lived with Garrison and Bailey, and one weekend they went of town didn’t time alone before becoming parents. Gwenie came over to stay with Kylie because Jon had a ton of work and he needed solace.

One night for dinner, Gwenie dragged Kylie to the Public Sector or the Sailor’s Barge… They had bomb fish and chips and then they stayed until the club hours and went to the basement and Kylie broke out crying when she was welcomed a small group of fellow believers. She no longer had to keep her faith in her mind. She could freely talk about God. She could pray out loud. For the first time, she sang a worship song about the second coming of the Lord… she didn’t want to leave.

Since that night and after giving birth, Kylie went to the basement of the Sailor’s Barge as often as she could. She took more copies of scripture than anyone else, but she never shared them. She saved them to make her own copy of the Bible.

On the day she was summoned to the Sanctuary, they had pictures of her reading a paper booklet tied together with yarn in a makeshift spin. They searched the purse she had with her and found it that booklet… as a makeshift Bible… when they asked where she got it she didn’t want to give up the Sailor’s Barge Basement… She gave up Gwenie instead, after all… she was the one who had access to a Bible and it was in her hand writing. As an offspring from the Private Level, she was one of the few people in the world who could write by hand… everyone else in the Public typed on devices or spoke into devices to create text messages and to write epapers for school.

They asked her right then and there if she believed she wanted to say yes, but she said no. When they asked why she read the pages she claimed she was curious. They asked why didn’t she report Gwenie and offer the book as evidence willingly, she honestly said she wanted to protect her best friend’s wife. Then they asked her why she wanted to be a woman after giving birth.

Kylie answered, ‘Having a child made me feel powerful… I don’t want to give that up… I want more children and if I must sacrifice my desire to be a man for that, then I can live with myself.’

New medical reports at this time shared the alarming rate of infertility. Shocking discoveries that people healthy to reproduce where giving up their ability to reproducing by becoming the opposite gender. And though some female to male people could bear child, it violated the Society’s Social Codes, so they’re started sterilizing all transgender people to make it equal across the board. If the world’s birth rate remained low, there would be no one to replace the world’s current population in the next 100 years.

Simply because Kylie proved to give a healthy offspring, she was spared punishment for breaking the Society’s number one Social Code – worshipping the One True God.

Kylie told herself Gwenie would get a slap on the wrist for being the Chief Philosopher’s Daughter and the Granddaughter of the Chief Policymaker, but it was because of her they decided to televise the stoning of One True God Followers. The Panel chose stoning as the delivery for death to honor their belief in an ancient horrid religion.

Due to the rise in believers, the Panel discussed bringing crucifixion back to scare people out of taking the risk of even thinking of believing.

Anyone who didn’t watch the stoning was arrested and stoned after Gwenie. Everyone was warned beforehand. Kylie sat in Silas’s TV Room, next to Jon, holding his hand, and she watched Gwenie get stoned by the armored lawenforcers. She stood for as along as she could, she only cried when it was unbearable. And when she couldn’t stand, she hoisted herself up on her knees, and in her final breaths on the ground, she cried the name of the Savior again and again until a stone  hit in between the eyes and caved her head in.

Jon and Kylie held each other balling together. He grieved from loss and Kylie wept from overbearing loss. She wished for death. In that moment, she wanted to stand up and say she believed, but Jon did something weird… He kissed her on the lips and then he whispered in her ear. ‘I need you… don’t leave me…’

They didn’t go on a date until two years, forty-two days, and nine hours after Gwenie’s death, but by then Jesus made it clear like Peter, Kylie was forgiven.

The day after her 24th birthday, she became Kylie Taylor Fenix… and without hearing the truth five and half years prior… she wouldn’t be a woman… and she would be on track to hell in the next life living this life as a man.

OUTSIDE THE LOUNGE

Kyl had been tormented for six months. Going through hormone treatments, to harvest eggs, and then having to handle failed implantation after failed implantation… Kyl loved his sister Bailey, but he couldn’t handle putting his dream of becoming a man for real on hold.

To blow off steam, and to relax, AND to FIND someone to HOOK up with to really let go off ALL the CRAP he FELT… he went to the Lounge. Though Kyl fished to take a pretty lady home, no one bit the bait. So Kyl got trashed. Drunker than he ever got before.

Leaving the lounge, he stumbled and nearly fell face first into the sidewalk. He caught himself on the post of a street lamp. A man met him there on that corner and helped hold him up. He looked like an old and gray Nix. And even though, him and Nix were friends again, things weren’t the same between them, and Kyl missed what he and Nix had in the Sanctuary.

‘Excuse me, have you ever heard the Gospel?’ The older man asked.

After giving some speech about Jesus, death, and resurrection and being born-again, and going to heaven instead of hell, the man asked, “Do you believe in the Gospel, Kylie?”

Suddenly, he was tackled by three armored officers. He fought back but the beat him until he fell limp unconscious. Kyl was so freaked out and confused by everything he passed out.

He woke up the next day in his bed. The officers must have brought him home.

Three weeks later, Kyl had a dream of a glamorous place. The streets were pure gold, so pure it was see-thru. There was endless light all around her and total peace. She say this man with holes in his hands and where a white robe. He was bearded and she knew who he was… the man who was God who died on a cross for her sins.

“I love you Kylie.”

Abruptly, she woke up and instantly believed the Gospel was true. She left like she needed to look in her back pants pocket and she pulled out a little piece of paper that had written on it, “God sent his only begotten Son for the salvation of the world. For whosoever believes in the Son should have eternal life…” John 3:16. The old man must have slipped it in her pocket somehow. Deep in her heart she believed in Jesus and she felt free. She no longer wanted to be Kyl. She wanted to be Kylie like her parents named her.

KYL LORE

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Three days after commencement, Kyl finally got leave. He got little panicked trying to leave the Sanctuary the first day and he feels bad that he stood Nix up. But when he was walking down the hall the first, a panic hit him heavy. Bailey always visited him growing up in the Sanctuary, would if his parents wouldn’t show up for him, and he would be all alone like Bailey was after her commencement.

For three days, he rested in a blue light room to release. He talked about his fears with a counselor. He did a lot of meditation asking spirits to guide him to peace.

He cut his hair into the male style he wanted and he selected faux eye-glasses to look smart. Chicks dig nerdy guys.

On his second attempt to leave the Sanctuary, he could feel another panic attack coming, but he pressed through fearing life in the Sanctuary more than the unknown that awaited him.

Bailey and Garrison came to pick him and took him to the Private Level to their house, though he was assigned a nice apartment on the edge of the Public Level. That’s when Bailey told Kyl about their parents. They were famous entertainers who took their lives in a double suicide when Kyl was 6 and Bailey was 12. They watched a marathon of movies their parents starred into together… they were the Society’s hottest actors and hottest celebrity couple.

Entertainers may live in the Private Level, but they only have the rights of Public Level Members. Their child must be raised in Sanctuaries but do get to return to their entertainer parents during IDS.

Kyl was never that into movie so he never realized who his parents were, but watching the movie where their parents fell in love on set, she remembered one visit from them in the Sanctuary.

LORE

Sage Lore was six years old. Hirs (here) caretaker took hirs to the Visitor’s Hall to see hirs parents. Sie (zee) was so excited! Lore’s Alma (mother) was pencil thin and looked like a walking corpse and Lore’s Animo (father) was big and bulky like a comic book superhero. Their teeth blindingly white, their skin seemingly perfect, and their clothes super pressed and fresh looking.

Lore sat in between them on a bench to a long table. All three of them used the table top like a back rest.

They spent a long time giving Lore kisses and telling sie they loved hirs. Hirs Animo sat hirs on the lap. Lore faced inward looking at hirs Animo’s face while hirs hair was braided by hirs Alma.

The time came for them to leave and hirs Animo set Lore on the ground on hirs feet. They both hugged Lore at the same time and whispered in hirs ear, ‘Believe when you hear the Gospel. Jesus loves you.’

Six people wearing clunky black outfits and black face glassy covers came and surrounded Lore’s parents. The people in black showed Mr. and Mrs. Taylor out. Lore got to visit with Bailey the next week, even though older kids did not hang out with younger ones.

Over time, Lore realized sie would never see hirs parents again, but sie knew sie would always have Nix.


Author’s Note

You may have realized everyone who got saved in this story was connected to believer in their family before them. I’m not saying only the relatives of believers get saved, but I do know God is faithful to answer prayer. If fellow believers are anything like me, I pray for my family who don’t know God personally, to know Him and I thank God for the salvation and I trust God will give them chance after chance until they die to know God.

Martyrdom turned out to be a huge theme I didn’t expect to hit on until I wrote Murphy’s section. Then this theme took over.

I know I personally don’t reflect on the fact that I could die one day for my faith in Jesus. Not that I think anyone aspires to be a martyr, but can you say you truly believe in something if you’re not willing to die for what you believe in?

This concludes I.D. Synthesis. This was originally a novel length idea that I compressed into a four part series.

I’m sure there are so many questions! Look out for some videos explaining the things not resolved in this series. Please, drop questions in the comments below or on any parts of the story and I’ll do my best to address them in my videos or by responding to your comment. Thank you for taking this journey with me and I hope you come along for the next one. Bring some friends too! Spread the word about this weird story you read online and you made you think a lot!!! Say what you want how you want to say it, I simply ask you be kind.

Thank you,

Much Love,

Bri,

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MURPHY

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Murphy Fenix doesn’t really remember his parents. The Society ran the Protected Level differently in the beginning. Murphy and his wife were apart of the first generation of Synthesizers. They lived with their parents until they were 4 years old, and then they grew up in Sanctuaries until they were 16. As fresh sweet sixteens, they underwent I.D. Synthesis being evaluated every 3 months. Then at the age 20, they selected their gender, sexual orientation, and spiritual practice.

A couple of years after he finished his IDS, the process changed over the span of 10 years. How the process works now was finalized a few years before Jon was born.

Unlike Jon, Murphy never got to see his parents. It was complete separation from their parents for the Collective of 52, believing parental bonds could influence who children decided to become. However, majority of Society members from Collective 52 suffered from severe depression and did not complete I.D. Synthesis. To date, most of the workers in Sanctuaries are from Collective 52 remaining inside a gender neutral environment.

When Murphy left the Sanctuary, he was given an occupation he had to keep secret. He would say he worked as a janitor in the Law House, located behind the wall in the Private Sector. A black car from behind the wall would come and pick him up early in the morning as the sun rose, and dropped him back off at his apartment late at night, after dark.

He remembers the first day he crossed the checkpoint of the wall and ventured into the Private Level. It was his second day amongst the Society. He just spent a wild night at the Lounge with his roommate Gabriel. At the time Murphy was attracted to men and therefore, hooked up with different bulky, manly, men every night. On his first night though, he brought home the most beautiful woman he ever saw. Her outrageous beauty and enchanting charm swayed him to spend one night with her. After that, they agreed to be friends not feeling any chemistry between them. She fast became his best friend.

Behind the wall, there are trees, grass, space from building to building, and smog-free blue skies. Everything looks pristine and presentable. The sidewalks and the streets are so clean at times it seems fake. It was that way back then and it is the same way now.

The sun fully rose and took the sky when the black car pulled up to the Philosopher’s house. Chief Philosopher Silas Angelcrest was and still is considered the wisest man when pondering the state of humanity and directing a path for humanity’s future… Silas’s father, Hugo Angelcrest, was one of the founding fathers of the Society and continues to serve as Chief Policymaker.

Silas was single at the time and lived alone. The man’s black hair went down to his shoulders. He wore beaded bracelets and a beaded necklace. That day he wore a bright red tunic with a golden dragon on it. He did not wear any shoes because he was in a season of groundedness, where his entire being needed to connect with the force in his surroundings. He claimed to feel a connection with all things, living and inanimate.

The first place Silas took Murphy was to his study and explained why Murphy was there…

‘You’re here Blanco (Murphy’s Sanctuary first name) because you tested to be a deeper thinker, connecting with the deep universal truths without being taught them. The Panel and I know you’re destined to be a part of the elect, but it is up to you to choose that path. I will take you under my wing. I will share my wealth of knowledge of wisdom with you. And if you pass your training, if the Panel accepts you, and if you choose this path, then you will become the first Philosopher from the Public Level.’ Silas said with an effeminate tone. He talked with hands whenever he got the chance. He was a very bright person. If personality could be colors, he would be the rainbow with a touch of sparkles.

They began right away. Often, Murphy would be up to his head in books for reading assignments. Murphy’s reading go so extensive that Silas would allow him to spend weeks at time in the huge manor. After a year, Silas made a room for him to stay when wanted to, which was all the time.

The remaining six months of Murphy’s I.D. Synthesis, Murphy (who then was Blanco Fenix, a caucasian, homosexual, spiritual man) confessed he was in love with Silas. And even though it was unethical they proceeded to have an affair.

Then a month before Murphy’s IDS was to be finalized, he was reading the Holy Bible for an assignment studying “The Limitations of Morality for the Stability of the Psyche”. He came across an old testament scripture.

Leviticus 18:22

22 “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.’ ” (NIV)

Leviticus 20:13

13 “ ‘If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.’ ” (NIV)
Reading these scriptures infuriated Murphy. He deeply desired to tear the pages right out of the old book, but he didn’t want to risk going to prison for destroying Silas’s irreplaceable property.
He once liked Abrahamic Literature. A part of him wanted to believe in the God of the Bible, even though it was forbidden, but after reading how the God of the Bible would order his death for him being who he was… he then hated the Bible God.
He began having nightmares about a place of fire. The heat hot enough to melt his skin, yet his skin never did. He would cry in agony so intensely he gnashed his teeth, bitterly angry that no matter how much he pleaded for help, no one came to save him.
One late night, Blanco forced himself to stay awake in the study, sitting in front of the fireplace, watching a real fire burn. Silas came in to check on his pupil, his love. When Blanco told him about his nightmares, Silas responded back, ‘You’ve been reading too much ancient history about hell, hades, sheol, the place of death, or whatever you choose to call it… Fill your soul with positive things.’
When Blanco asked what hell was Silas chuckled thinking the young man was joking.
Blankly, Blanco stared at him innocently. Legitimately unaware of a mythical or religious place called hell, Blanco asked Silas to explain what the place was.
However, Silas suddenly got uncomfortable and very irritable. The corner is right eye flinched, which happened when he was frustrated. He said to Blanco, ‘It doesn’t matter. It’s not real.’ He took Blanco by the hands and pulled him off the ground. He reeled Blanco close to him and asked, ‘Come spend the rest of the night in my room.’
Taking two steps away from him, Blanco asked a random, out of nowhere question, ‘You’re never going to marry me are you?’
Snapping loudly, and annoyed to the point of spitting as hollered his consonants, ‘YOU KNOW I CANNOT MARRY YOU. YOU KNEW SNICE OUR LOVE BEGAN!’
Weeping, Blanco fled the manor and ran to the wall desperate to get as far away as he could from Silas, from the cause of broken, confused heart.
Back at his apartment. Alone in his room, he sat at the foot of his bed. All the Bible stories where God would visit them in a vision or in their dreams… Deep in his heart, Blanco wanted to encounter the God of the Bible.
When he managed to fall asleep… nothing happened that he could remember.
Like all other mornings when he didn’t spend the night with Silas, the black car came to pick him up during sun rise. This time, however, Blanco didn’t get in the vehicle. The self-driving ride stayed parked outside Blanco’s apartment complex for days. Days where Blanco sat on his knees pleading to the God of the Bible, asking if He was real.
Day by day, Blanco changed the way he dressed, the way he talked, the way he thought. He would recite portions of scripture he remembered. ‘Be still and know I AM God.’ … ‘Jesus said, ‘I am the way, the truth, the life’… ‘In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.’ … ‘No light can extinguish the darkness’ … ‘He is my shepherd, I shall not. Though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, I shall fear no evil’… Day bay day, hour by hour, he began to believe these words.
He may have been held up in a white walled room, with a twin bed covered in white linens, and day and night he prayed on a cold, white tile floor, on his knees– but the more he believed the Word he felt like he was on top of a mountain peak, looking over a beautiful valley with a lake. He no longer felt alone. He felt this constant peace and an overwhelming warmth in his heart. He just knew… the God of the Bible was real.
One day, there was a knock on his door while Gabriel was at work. He had three days until his last IDS evaluation.
An old man stood in the narrow hallway and asked, ‘Are you Blanco Fenix?’
Hesitantly, Blanco nodded his head yes.
‘Have you ever heard the Gospel?’
Blanco shook his head, not because he didn’t hear that word, but because he did. He also knew, what happened when that word was spoken out loud, in any language, across the world… well, the world that remained. He shook his head wanting to protect this old man. Who was hunched over, frail looking with very wrinkly skin, and cloudy eyes.
Blanco wanted to warn the man and to tell him to go, but Blanco made contact with those cloudy eyes that once were all dark brown. The sense of pure love that emanated from them, captivated Blanco’s heart. If he remembered his father, Blanco imagined that gaze was the stare of a loving, proud, father. It was odd to miss someone you had no recollection of, but that was Blanco every day, he missed the man who was his dad, but he couldn’t remember what he looked like, or the sound of his voice.
The old man told Blanco the Gospel in the simplest form. Every person is born a sinner. That’s just the truth. Sin keeps people apart from God. Jesus, who is God- the Son of God, came as a human, born of a virgin, fathered by the Holy Spirit. At the age of 30, he started healing broken people, sick people, helping the poor and needy, feeding the hungry, taking social outcasts and giving them a new crew, and bring the dead back to life. Three years later he was put to death on a cross, naked and scared he died a shameful death charged as criminal though he was innocent. This act was taken as a perfect sacrifice by God, and in that moment God forgave every person that ever lived, was living at the time, would live. Three days later, Jesus came back to life, and forty days later ascended to heaven saying he would come back again, but with an army to destroy all that is bad and make everything good. The catch was, to be apart of this, was to believe, and to accept Jesus came and died for the sin of the world, that Jesus died for you and for me, for anyone who may believe. Once you believe in your heart and confess that Jesus is your Lord and Savior… then you are forever apart of God’s family.
Right as the old man said, ‘Murphy, do accept Jesus as your Lord and your Savior?’ the law enforcement came and violently apprehended the old man. Three armored officers tackled him to the ground dog-piling on top of him. When they stood up, the old man lied limp and twisted on the ground, laboring to breath. One officer snatched him by the foot and dragged him away across the floor. As the officer yanked the old man down the stairs, he wailed in deep pain. Blanco knew horrible torture awaited him.
The two remaining officers asked Blanco if he believed what the man said, using advanced technology to check if he was lying based on heart rate, voice pitch, basal temperature, and eye pupil dilation. The technology was built into their face masks.
Blanco could feel every drop of sweat drizzle down his forehead. His heart felt like it was beating in his throat. He was terrified to confess yes, but he felt like it would be wrong to say no. He didn’t want to lie anymore. Yet, he didn’t want to die. In that moment, he wondered if heaven was real or a state of consciousness like he was taught in the Sanctuary.
‘No,’ Blanco said.
The officer standing on Blanco’s left said, ‘His readings are on the cuff, but he’s probably shaken up by what he saw… I think he’s telling the truth.’
The other officer agreed with the once that shared the face mask scans. Then they left.
Blanco went back to his room and he looked at himself in the body mirror that hung on his door. He remembered reading a book on the Gaelic language. He remembered that Murphy means Sea Warrior… Then he wondered in his mind why God would name him Sea Warrior. Then he remember Jesus told his disciples he would make them fisher of men… God saw him. God was calling him to spread the Gospel to the Public Level. The old man, like a loving father, gave his life for Blanco Fenix… for Murphy Fenix.
Three days later, Blanco Fenix returned to the Sanctuary where he was raised. He took his last evaluation. The evaluator asked how the young man identified, he said, ‘Murphy Fenix, a caucasian, heterosexual man, who is spiritual… and I will marry Jaya Patel, the most beautiful woman in the world…’
FINDING JAYA
Seven years, a hundred and twenty-three days, fourteens hours, and sixteen minutes after his final IDS Evaluation, Murphy found Jaya in the most fated away.
He was cooking dinner for his ex-roommate Gabriel and his husband and their girlfriend when he sliced his finger open and had to be rushed to the Emergency Healing Center. As he and his grossed-out dinner friends were waiting for him to get seen by a Healer and an apprentice, when Jaya came in with a medic team bringing in some pretty battered up people.
She looked rugged, worn out, and exhausted and her hair was in a frazzled messy bun, and she wasn’t wearing any makeup, but Murphy knew it was the same beautiful woman from nine years ago, his first one night stand he ever had.
He leaped out of his seat and shout her name across the waiting room just as she was disappearing to the healing corridors. The sound of her name made her come back out into the waiting room. She stared at Murphy without a clue as to who he was…
He rushed over to her and exuberantly pleaded, ‘I know I seem like a total stranger but we do know each other. May I have permission to kiss you?’
‘No!’ She gasped fretfully taking a huge step back from him.
‘Right… creepy question… well, can we meet somewhere for coffee? I don’t drink. But we slept together – you know – had sex – nine years ago and lately, I keep thinking what would have happened if we ever went out on a date… May I take you out on a date…’
‘If we never had another night that meant I felt no chemistry with you, what makes you think that would change in nearly a decade?’
‘I’m different.’ He said gazing deeply into eyes, feeding all the chemistry he could muster in pure awe and fascination of her.
‘I prefer tea… cold tea… why don’t we meet at the Sailor’s Barge…’
THE SAILOR’S BARGE
A few days later, they met by the marina, at the Sailor’s Barge. She had iced tea, fish and chips. He got coffee and a burger with egg on it. Not only did they keep going back for every date, abstaining from sex until they were married. The Sailor’s Barge became their favorite restaurant.
Because for those who believed in the God of the Bible, during the bar hours, believers would gather in the basement, and study the world of God together, prayed together, and worshipped together. Over the years new members would come in after the bold faith of past member led the new believers there. And instead of morning the tragic loss of their martyred member, they would cling to the hope they would see them again in paradise, and thanked God for the new members to join their ranks in the battle for souls.
Two and half years ago, Jon came home to be with Jaya and Murphy. Six months ago, he left their home to get his own place. He works as a Janitor in the Law House behind the wall. He is engaged to be married to Gwendolyn Angelcrest… who meets in the basement at Sailor’s Barge twice a week. She writes new verses down from the Bible in her dad’s study and makes copies. She brings them to the basement group for members to pass out on the streets to those the Holy Spirit leads them to give scripture to.
Seeing them together makes Murphy think of him and Jaya… Jon has become the man Murphy prayed for him to be. He was never tempted with same sext attraction. He found God at a young age. And he found the right woman for him immediately after finishing IDS.
THE CALL
In the middle of the night, Murphy woke up suddenly panicked by the vision he had in his sleep, but when He prayed for strength, he found the courage to get up and to get dressed.
Jaya woke up and asked what he was doing.
He said, “I must go take care of something very important. I love you forever and beyond, Jaya.”
Gasping as fresh tears pooled in her eyes, she covered her mouth with her hands to muffle her scream. She furiously shook her head. Then she latched her arms around his neck and weeping with heavy tears.
“No, no, no, no, no, no… noooooooooooo,” she hushed just below a whisper.
“I have to go. I can’t be late.” He ripped her arms away from around his neck and he held his wife’s face in his hands and kissed her tear covered lips. As he broke away, her grief caused her to collapse on her face into the bed covers that buried her legs. She laid there bent with her upper half sandwiched with her lower half.
Murphy showed up to the spot of his vision. He waited under a street lamp, across from the popular Lounge where Synthesizers and Elects mingle in the landscape of the night scene. He wanted to see the person whose soul was worth his own life. He kept thinking about Jesus… bruised, beaten, scarred and marred hanging on a cross for him. The blood dripping from His side. He thought about Jesus drowning from the fluid in His lungs with a caved in chest. He thought about Jesus being mocked for being who was… the King of the Jews… the Messiah. Murphy thought about Him bearing the sin of the world and becoming sin all for this future moment… so that Murphy would know Him, and love Him, and to make Murphy a man willing to die so someone else may know Him… This was the heart of the Father- to give up everything one has for another with one’s own life, life being the most precious treasure one can own.
Murphy waited for his signal and once it came, he took a deep, and in his head he said, ‘Here I come Jesus! I’ll see you soon..’

 Author’s Note
As I wrote this last part of Murphy’s story… I had worship music playing and I was balling as I typed the last two paragraphs. I’m a typical American. I love my life and I want a good one. When things get rough, I act entitled and go, “Why me God?!”
But Jesus said the greatest thing one could do for their friend is to give their life for their friend.
Sure, I would die for my family, for my best friends, but would I die for someone I haven’t even met yet.
We know God is all knowing and growing up in church, I would hear sermons about God knowing everything about us and having a plan for us… which I believe is true.
But on judgement day, the Lord will either know us or He won’t. What if He doesn’t think about anyone and activates a plan for their life until they get witnessed to or someone prays for them.
Honestly, I don’t understand how God does it. I know He is good, the word says so, and I know He is love, the word says so… But I can’t understand what it is like to be perfectly just and to be perfectly holy… In my human understanding, I think it’s wrong for someone to go to hell just because they didn’t know Him. I can understand if they rejected God after hearing about Him, but what if no one ever told them about Jesus?
Maybe God has plan for that and took care of it, but there’s nothing in my Bible indicating this that I have found… so I can’t live my life based on a small margin of possibility. I must live my life on what I know the word says. The truth is Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Jesus is who the Bible says He is, and the Holy Spirit affirms that. There are no deeper truths. Jesus was not #WOKE like the New Age Movement says. Oprah is wrong about Christianity. Jesus was more than just a teacher and a good prophet. He is my Savior. He is my Lord.
I’ll confess I’ve been so ashamed to right this story. I’m afraid people will misconstrue what I’m doing here. I’m afraid of getting attacked by people who for the LBGTQI Community.
I still live in a time where I can write a story, based on a thought, and I can share my beliefs. I would rather someone gets offended hearing the truth than to adore my stories on their way to hell.
The crazy part is, from age 8 to age 20 I felt like a boy. I had dreams about dating famous actresses. Intense, visual dreams at that. And I almost thought I would be stuck being a single, lesbian Christian woman because I couldn’t find enough support in the Bible that God made a mistake when I was born a girl.
Now, I proclaim a very different narrative. I am a woman, and boy, lately I got real desires to be married to a man so pray for me y’all!
And no, I never felt judged by the church because no one knew that I struggled with gender dysphoria. I didn’t even plead with God all the time to be free. I pretended to be a man in my imaginary word, and in my made up stories… That is how I coped with a reality being stuck as a woman that tormented me day and night… Then, as I matured in Christ Jesus, I got to a point I couldn’t take it anymore… I needed to embrace my desires to pursue becoming a man or I needed God to change me.
I prayed on election night, in 2012 – deeply troubled and in a moment God set me free. Since then, I have not lusted after a woman nor have had any dreams about being intimate with women. November this year, will be my 7th year of freedom and I believe God has something really special in store, because it wasn’t until last year around this time that I actually felt like a woman… I know… it doesn’t make complete sense to me either… It took six years to restore me into who he designed me to be from birth. God created the world in six days, and on the seventh day he rested in celebration… My seventh year of freedom is going to be my year of rest and celebration!
If you identify with the LBGTQI Community or support the community. Feel free to message me and we can discuss whatever you would like.
I also believe though you’re reading this story for a reason. Someone, somewhere in the earth is praying for the eternal destination of your soul. It’s no so much about where you’re going but who you know. Past the the thorns of religion and religious people is a God who loves you and is so committed to your freedom, He asks you to do something crazy and to give your whole life to Him.
Is your life easy now? Probably not and if it is, you should be worried… This life is meant to be a battle, but it’s important to end the war on the winning side. The victors are with Jesus the Son of Man. What God would call themselves the child of humanity? In its historical context, a Son of Man in Hebrew refers to someone called by God to be the hero for people. But I like to look at it like this… Jesus would have no purpose without humanity needing redemption. The state us in our sin gave birth to his humble entrance into the world and his walk on the earth that led to Him saving us! He may be God but He wouldn’t be our God without our need of Him.
In Revelation 4, it mentions God created us for His enjoyment. Not to torture us. Satan does that. But to enjoy us as sons and daughters. Join the family today by believing Jesus died for you, rose for you, and saves you from your sin nature. Now go tell three people you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord and Savior and welcome to the family! Find a church family and use a Bible App until you get a Bible. Read the word, it’s the only sure way you can get to know God quickly.
Feel free to message me with questions and for prayer.

Last night, I went to one of my dearest friend’s gender reveal party. As great as it was to be a part of that, for the first time I understood how unwed, childless women feel… People with kids talk about their kids mostly and it gets weird and awkward when you don’t have kids too stay share parenting war stories…

But it wasn’t all bad, I met a woman who was questioning the validity of the Gospel. She grew up in a Christian home but when she began to question if the Gospel was true, she was discouraged from raising those questions because “it would make her faith harder to hold on to”…?

I could relate to the woman because she was a fellow analytical thinker and counted on evidence to make a solid decision. For once, in my 26 years on this planet, I wasn’t nervous about discussing scripture, hearing her questions, and I had a lot of peace to share my experiences that strengthened my faith over the years.

Nowadays, we have too many people falling away because of experiences. They either have bad experiences with believers or whacky experiences with devils or themselves and credit such workings to God. The same factor lacking in the aforementioned experiences is scripture… what does scripture have to say in light of those experiences?

Then, we also have a bunch of people who worship the Bible and don’t rely on personal experiences with God at all! What a dry, dead life?!

We need a balance of everything. We need a solid foundation of scripture, we need a consistent prayer life to stay connected to God, and we need experiences with the Holy Spirit or orchestrated by God for our faith to grow and live fervently within us.

As I talked to this woman (that I am ready to friend), and we hit a really sweet spot where I can unpack all this evidence with science to support scripture, and personal experiences in light of the Bible, we get interrupted because the gender reveal party is over and people start to leave… so people come over to say goodbye…

If only I had two more minutes…

Then after I say goodbye to everyone, and I leave, on the car ride home I think about the things I could have said, or I think how I should offered to pray with the woman who had questions, but I stop my thoughts on that should-have, could-have, would-have train. Everything I said in that conversation wasn’t for nothing and God doesn’t separate cultivating relationships from saving souls (sometimes we do that in our ignorance and/or arrogance).

Therefore, I’m going to friend this woman. Not with the sole ambition to win her soul, but we have common interests and I know in God’s goodness He is going to reveal Himself to her. There’s a high probability I will be used as a vessel to connect her to God, but her salvation or reconciliation with God isn’t my mission. My mission is to love her as I would any other human being that is a dear friend to me, and keep my hope alive in Christ, that the Holy Spirit will draw her back to the Father’s Heart… because she once considered herself a believer. Is God not a jealous God and in the business of keeping us?

Never discourage anyone from questioning the Bible or the Gospel. Simply trust God will keep them in the truth. Be open to taking their questions and sharing your thoughts and experiences. Don’t be nervous. Don’t feel their salvation rests on your shoulders. Jesus saves, we are just the messengers.

Remember, our relationships with people are the most precious because our commodity is love. God loved us first so we could love Him. Humanity is driven by the presence of, or the absence of love, and the quality of that love. Humanity is at its best operating in love centered around the love of Yeshua-Son of Man (aka Jesus Christ).

Shine like a star, as yourself, who God is making you to be every day. Maybe people think you’re too religious, or not religious enough. Maybe you talk about Jesus too much or not enough, if you live at peace and know you’re in God’s will for your life, DO NOT CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS!

We are not people on a mission, we are people of faith! Dr. Lester Sumrall said faith is knowing God. Yes, we must spread the Gospel, but notice how Jesus told the Good News… First, he obeyed God. Then, he made a group of friends and taught them what he knew. Next, he started sharing what God wanted him to do how the Holy Spirit led him to do it. When he healed someone or set them free, he sent the person to testify to someone else who was that person’s direct link to a community.

For example, when the lepers came to Jesus and begged to be healed, he healed them (Luke 17:11-19). Jesus told them to go show their priest that God made them clean. In that day, lepers were excommunicated from everyone. And lepers most likely lived in leper towns. It was customary to go to the priest, go through a ritual cleaning and to be forgiven by God to be made clean (learned this in Bible College from a professor, I trust this source), and only if the priest saw the leprosy was gone, could they go back and join the community.

Another example, when Jesus delivered legion out the Gerasene Man, Jesus told the man to return to his family and testify about what happened and to show the man was delivered (Mark 5:1-20).

The famous woman at the well (John 4:1-42), she went and told everyone she knew who Jesus was.

The over all point being is that God is in the business of relationship. Clearly, God reached out to Abraham and he answered the call. God could reach out to all of us one on one, but because God designed humanity to be a family and to build all sorts of communities, God calls us to cultivate our relationships. We are blessed to partake in spreading the good news not just by telling people about God and leaving them with pamphlets to know God, but through loving people and building our lives through the ties we have with people.

Paul said that our lives were to be letters from Christ to everyone around us. Writing a letter can be so intimate. Putting words on a page to pour out your entire heart without any interruptions. Without anyone twisting your words. Without anyone diluting what you have to say. Reading the letter is all the more richer when you know the one who wrote it. Jesus is the author of life crafted in the Spirit of God, and to the people around us, when they look at us, or talk to us, or spend time with us, they experience firsthand what God has done for us or is currently doing in us, and it is the experience of our company that probes them to connect to the Father. As they understand who we are as a person, they begin to understand God in part.

Not only are we letters from heaven to the world, but we are the translation of God’s love. A love that cannot be grasped or experienced in a fuller way until they believe for themselves… Jesus died on the cross for them and rose from the grave, just to connect them with an unseen God who loves them more than we ever could!

Take this year to love the people you know and get to know them better. This year, when you spread the Gospel, don’t just think about depopulating hell, but think about birthing new babes in Christ, and then commit to be there for as long as God will allow to mature them in the faith. And PLEASE, love your brothers and sisters in Christ like you love your blood family. Be quick to forgive, slow to anger, and even slower to speak!

Best of all, live everyday with God behind you, before you, and right by your side. Never try, but just be like Nike and do it! Live boldly and fearlessly!