“First Day of College” jitters.

I went to college twice.

Both first days at each place were nerve-racking in their own way. However, my second college experience was different. I hinged my whole future on it and my faith on it. I felt like the place I was going I was this special, holy, anointed place and that my life could not change without it. And this “change” that would impact my life, could not be grand or bring any glory to God if I failed to attend my second college.

Yes, this was while I was caught up in heresy and greatly deceived.

Believe it or not, when I wrote this chapter, I was still a little deceived.

The second college I went to was connect to heretical Christian ministry that I was convinced I was especially ordained by God. I was hopeful to gain employment with the ministry after graduation, and I came close but I could achieve my deep desire to be hired.

I was back at home, living with my father, feeling like I disappointed God because I didn’t work hard enough to stay at a ministry “He planted me at”, and to lick my wounds I convinced myself the “enemy usurped me from my position”.

In the Word of Faith Movement, everyone has a calling that is grand and important and if your faith is weak and you don’t accomplish fulfilling your calling it is your fault if a huge heap of people go to hell because they never heard the Gospel because of you’re failure to deliver it to them. And the way most preachers in the Word of Faith paint the portrait of you in your calling is that you’re healthy, wealthy, and famous. If you don’t achieve perfect health, luxurious wealth, and fame to all the nations your faith wasn’t good enough and you didn’t please God, so He didn’t bless you enough.

At the time, I typed this chapter, I was believing God for the opportunity to win this contest that inspired this story, that somehow would kickstart my career into being a published author, and then ministry I longed to work for would call me up and beg me to come join their team, and I would be in right standing with God.

It was this line of thinking, I partially instilled in Tru.

She gave up attending a State University to attend a Bible College she was convinced God would change her life. In her mind she was following Jesus, but she made the Bible College an idol, which is a lot to unpack right there.

The first day anywhere can be pretty nerve-racking. This was particularly nervous-making because her first say at Bible College was the first significant day of pursuing her destiny in God apart from her God-ordained parents already supremely successful in advancing the Kingdom of God.

Hope you like this chapter!

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