My family is fluffed up. My Aunt Betty had her son, Arnold Patrick Moneymaker, at the age of 16. Arnold’s father, Patrick was 18, but in the state of Arizona it wasn’t illegal for them to be together. Jewel was 9 at the time. A few years later, Aunt Betty had Annette Devlin Moneymaker, at the age of 19.

Aunt Betty and Jewel had really, scary religious parents- Catholic I think… and very racist… because Patrick was half black, he was not good enough to be with their daughter… When Aunt Betty got pregnant, they kicked her out of the house. Patrick played the good guy, he married Aunt Betty and they got a one-bedroom apartment…

Arnie was 6 going on 7, Netty was 3, and Jewel did something monumentally stupid. She seduced her brother-in-law and conceived me at the age of 15, but that ugly truth didn’t come out until I was like 2, when Aunt Betty and Patrick got divorced and he shacked up with Jewel for a bit.

I don’t call him dad. I call him Trick… all three of us do… He is currently serving time for smuggling drugs and weapons across the border. I have no idea when he’s getting out. Occasionally, he writes me a letter. I never read them. He left Jewel when I was 4, and I barley saw him… I don’t really know him.

Oh, and Arnie, at the bright age of 18 had a baby with is 17-year-old girlfriend, Jessica… Our family is just cursed. I swear there’s some bored, spoiled woman fictionally writing about my life on her tiny little blog… Because according to Netty, God is good and if He gets credit for my crummy life, I’m having a hard time believing the Man in the Sky is a good guy.

Albany was born when I was 7… to Bobby Church… and Genie is supposed to be Bobby’s- according to Jewel, but according to Bobby he is not her father, yet, he won’t do a DNA test to prove it. He wasn’t that bad. He swore worse than Jewel, drank a lot more, but he never beat anyone up… Jewel would beat on him. I really thought they would forever be miserable together… but Jewel caught him cheating and kicked him out. Three days later… she brought home the jerk.

“Nurse Netty”

“OW… Holly fluffing CRISP!” I scream.

“I need to make sure they’re clean.” Netty says as she washes my feet with a warm, rough wash cloth.

The soles of my feet sting like a fiery bee sting multiplied by a thousand.

I ran for as long as I could and then I walked. By the time I got all the way to her house the sun rose. Deshaun had already left for work and she was up… probably praying… I don’t know…

Now that she’s done cleaning my feet, she applies this fancy cream from the hospital… it’s actually super soothing… It must have a pain-killing agent in it.

The wooden toilet seat is finally starting to hurt my butt… I readjust to get comfy and she snaps at me to stay still as she holds gauze to my left foot and then she wraps it snuggly in white bandages.

I look up at the skylight. The foggy glass makes it impossible for anyone to see in clearly and for anyone to see out. The pastel green wall and matching tiny, rectangular tiles are pretty. I want a bathroom like this when I have a house one day. Well, if I ever have a house one day…

Gently, she sets my left foot down and picks up my right foot and rests my heel in between her knees, which she sits on upon the floor, at my feet.

I’ve always been jealous of her straight brown hair and light green eyes, and white-person complexion. She has a peach-earthy tone, but no one knows she’s part black. She looks white, so does Arnie. They look like twins, except for some reason he shaves his head completely bald and he doesn’t have a receding hairline. Maybe it’s because he’s a hipster. He sports a full beard that is weirdly red instead of brown, which he grooms and uses beard oil to keep it kempt. Moronically, he wears non-prescription glasses. Yes, the man collects fakes glasses, some of them lens-less, just to wear as a fashion statement.

“Savannah, why are you ignoring me?” Netty asks as gets of the ground slowly, groaning lowly like getting up is a real struggle.

“I’m sorry… What did you ask?” Wow… where is her attitude coming from? I got a lot on my mind. I can’t focus.

“Why did Aunt Jewel kick you out?”

I want to say part of the truth. I hit her and I burned her hand… If I tell her the full truth, I’m scared… Netty is so by the book about everything… What if she makes call the cops? I can’t do that. I won’t.

No. I need to lie altogether… at least until I figure out what to do.

“I’m pregnant…” Okay, I tell the truth a little.

I get to stay honest. I don’t need to say anything else. She jumps to conclusions like I knew she would. She’s convinced Derek is the father. She’s disappointed in me.  So disappointed she repeats it, “I’m very disappointed in you.”

That’s not fair! Oh wait, she doesn’t know everything, but I thought the God she served knows all, why isn’t He telling her the truth? Fine, she can feel however she wants about me.

I stand up only to experience shooting pain on the bottom of my feet. “Can I barrow a pair of shoes please?”

Fortunately, we’re both a size 7.

“You’re not going anywhere. You can stay in the spare room.” She holds out her elbow for me to take. “Let me help. Lean on me.”

I want to run, but I’m too exhausted. I want to cry, but I’m all cried out. I want to punch her in the face, but she doesn’t deserve it. I want to set Jewel on fire, but that is psychotic. I want to die, but then Albany and Genie would be sad. I want to be with Derek. I wish I knew where he was, because I would hitchhike my way to him. I’d repay my drivers however needed… H O W E V E R  N E E D E D.

We wobble to the end of the hall and across from the home office, we enter the spare room. The walls are a pastel yellow and the carpet is a plushy, thick cream. The room is tiny. A twin bed rests under the window and a tall, cherry wood dresser stands by the door next to the closet, with white wood sliding doors. A light blue quilt with a lavender flower pattern sits at the foot of the bed made with white sheets. The sunlight leaks through the cracked blinds, making the room cinematically inviting.

Side by side we sit on the bed.

“I remember like a few months ago… we had that really deep conversation over coffee and you were adamant you and Derek weren’t having sex… is Derek the father? You can tell me anything, you know that right?”

Instantly, my sight blurs from my newfound tears… Apparently, I can cry… still…

She swoops me into her embrace and I can’t let go. This attention feels amazing! Like I wish my mom had a nurturing bone in her body but she doesn’t… because all I really want is my mom… why can’t Jewel be my mom- like why can’t she love me like a good mom?

I want to tell Netty about all of it, but I can’t. I won’t… I’m tired…

“Get some rest,” Netty says in the threshold of the door. She adds, “Let me know if you need anything.”

I don’t bother to get under the covers. I grapple the pillow in my arms and lay my head on the mattress. The refreshing smell of detergent relaxes me a bit.

“Derek Phones Again”

Derek: Happy Thanksgiving!

Savvy: I can’t believe you’re not here.

Derek: Yeah… hopefully mom will let me come back for Christmas.

SAVVY panicked by the thought.

Savvy: I think it’s cool that your mom flew out to your dad’s so you could spend Thanksgiving with your whole family. If you had to spend Christmas like that, would that be so bad?

Derek: (Sighing) I just miss you like crazy… I miss Kaylie and Trev too, how are they?

Savvy: Um… not super great…

Derek: Why?

Savvy: Well, Kaylie wanted to place the baby in adoption and Trevor wanted them to keep the baby, but it doesn’t matter now…

Derek: (Shocked) She got an abortion?

Savvy: Ah… no… she um… miscarried… And Trevor’s trying to make up with her, but she’s totally cut him out of her life. To her they’re over… I kind of think it’s a good thing…

Derek: (Agitated) But isn’t she rededicated to Christ? How will Trevor get saved if she cuts him out of her life completely?

Savvy: She can barely look at him without thinking about the baby she lost. Give her some time Derek.

ANNETTE opens the door to make an announcement.

Annette: Dinner is ready and we’re ready to eat.

SAVVY sits up suddenly, muting her end of the phone call.

Savvy: Can you just save me a plate? I don’t know when I’ll talk to D again.

Annette: Did you tell him about the baby yet?

Savvy: I don’t want to tell him over the phone.

Annette: You need to come eat with us now and then do your homework. He can callback another day.

ANNETTE leaves the door open disappearing around the corner and down the hallway. SAVVY moans in a harsh hush tone, SUPER angry at ANNETTE and her dumb house rules to always eat dinner together. SAVVY unmutes the call.

Derek: Babe are you there?

Savvy: Can you call me tomorrow or soon? I have to go.

Derek: Um yeah… do I call this number?

Savvy: Yeah, this is officially my new number… I’m on Netty’s plan now.

Derek: Jewel is allowing that?

SAVVY freezes. She doesn’t know what to say to that. DESHAUN, ANNETTE’S husband peaks into the room. The black man stands tall at 6’5” and he’s a very muscular Firefighter. He keeps his head bald because he has a bald spot. He doesn’t have any facial hair though.

Deshaun: (Intimidatingly) Didn’t your sister tell you dinner was ready, and didn’t she tell you to join us?

Derek: Who is that?

Savvy: Yes, sir. I’ll be right out.

DESHAUN remains standing in place, glaring at SAVVY, waiting for her to move.

Derek: Is that the jerk?

Savvy: No. I love you, bye.

SAVVY hangs up on DEREK. She gets up and walks up to DESHAUN. She follows him to the dinning table.

Positively Unexpected-3

…At the Clinic…

TASHA and Kingston sat in chairs across the desk from the Nurse Practitioner. The air was drafty and dry and a coolness pushed down on them from the vent over their heads. The potent aroma of alcohol and cotton swabs lingered all around them.

Sue, the Asian American Nurse Practitioner finished explaining the details of the procedure and the legal ramifications for lying on their documentation.

Sue cleared her throat and asked one more time.

“Are you sure Kingston is the father?”

Rolling her eyes, “Yes,” Tasha sighed.

“I can attest, nurse— Sue… I was there…” Kingston chuckled. His heart fluttered, elevating his heart rate as anxiety threatened to rise up within him.

“Can I be frank with you?” Sue asked.

Neither of them said anything allowing Sue to be frank.

Sue looked at Kingston, who sat slouched in his seat. His hair in a frazzled mess and his eyes hidden behind his rose gold framed aviator shades. He loosened his neck tie as Sue spoke, “You’re Kingston Rourke… The very famous, openly gay boyfriend of Giles Bordner… Even if you were telling the truth—,”

Tasha smacked her open palm hand on the glass desk and snapped, “I @#%!*$ him and he knocked me up!”

“Okay,” Sue said defensively, “I understand what you both said and what you are both claiming. However, for your legal protection, given your known history for lying Ms. Turner, I think a paternity test is necessary.”

Tasha buried her face into her hands as she cursed under her breath. Kingston reached to rest his hand on her back to comfort her, but she whacked his hand away before it landed in place. Inhaling deeply and then exhaling, Tasha lifted her gaze and asked, “How much will that cost out of pocket?”

Nervously, Tasha leaned forward resting her elbows on her skirt covered knees, with her hands clasped together tightly.

Sue explained, “Since you plan to terminate the pregnancy and you need the paternity test to secure the correct co-signature to conduct the procedure… Insurance won’t cover any of it, thanks to the bill that passed five years ago, where all insurance must be applicable to treatment, care, and diagnostics toward life, not resulting in death. Sure, insurance companies were only trying to get out of paying for assisted suicide, but pro-lifers took advantage and made abortion more costly in the process.”

Kingston encouraged the woman to get to the cost details, “Thanks for the legislation lesson, but we would like a rough number, please?”

“Just over $3,000 for an SNP, which we can do because your 8 wks. It’s very non-invasive and incredibly safe.”

Scratching her head, “Darn, no chance of miscarriage? Real bummer.”

“That number seems high?” Kingston mentioned.

“Well, before Wayd v. Rowe, is was nearly $2,000. The number I gave you is our price and it is the best you’ll find in the city.”

“Okay, I can put in $1,500.”

“Well, that’s great for you… After all my bills and monthly fines I’m lucky if I have enough money to pay for a cab from my apartment to work…” Tasha huffs. Stuffing her fingers into her hands  she leaned her head back. Staring at the dry wall ceiling tiles, she asked about adoption. “How does the adoption placement program work again?”

“Oh, well, all pre-natal care is paid for, including delivery room fees and post-labor medical care. The mother gets $10,000 dollars for her service and the father gets $5,000 dollars. Oh, and um, the SNP is covered by your insurance, because the procedure now goes toward life. Both parents must consent to the adoption placement and shall one parent recant their decision, it must be made before the child is born. Once the child takes their first breath, the adoption is closed and forever legally binding.”

“That isn’t necessary. I’ll put in the full amount. We’ll take care of it.” Kingston said opening his wallet on his smartphone. “Can I pay now with credit?”

Tasha popped her head up abruptly and held her arms out wide, “I can’t ask you to do that.” She used her fingers to cup her face and she sighed with sorrow smeared across her face.  “Adoption makes sense when you’re broke, right?”

“I might as well take the child then. No stranger is going to raise my kid.” Kingston firmly stated.

Tasha held her mouth agape about to give Kingston a piece of her mind. She took a deep breath in and a deep breath out, and said, “Thank you Kingston, for paying. I will find a way to repay you.”

Sue held her transaction receiver up as Kingston pointed his phone at the small block. They filled out the necessary paperwork for the SNP, and pre-filed the mutual pregnancy termination agreement form. When the results come, will be the day she could schedule her abortion, and this event would both behind them. Finished with paperwork, they all got up and followed Sue to complete the SNP.


A Note from the Author:

An SNP is a single-nucleotide-polymorphism test, which helps determine the paternity of a child in the womb. They can be done pretty early on during pregnancy with lower risks than an amniocentesis.

Imagine a law being passed that made getting an abortion more challenging?

Believe it or not, I was pro-choice in high school… because so many of favorite teachers were, and my high school was big on the Tolerance Movement… if you didn’t have liberal views you were considered a stupid bigot by your peers. And I reasoned it was okay because God is a forgiving God, and God is a god of Free Will… His word is against killing just as much as His word is against sex outside of marriage, but He doesn’t send angels to lock us prison when we commit either one of these sins… Only one will throw us into jail if we get caught by the judicial system.

I think the pro-life movement spends too much time lobbying DC and standing outside planned parenthood. The real battle is in classrooms, with kids when they’re young teaching them about self-worth, how to respect themselves and other, and I believe the science and psychology behind sex should he taught to high schoolers. What purpose would this serve? Show the upcoming generation sex is not recreational but relational. That sex is meant to create an unbreakable bond between two people, and by having it freely with anyone and anybody leads to emotional hurt, unneeded stress, and increases the risk for STIs and unwanted pregnancies. I also think a positive message about marriage should be released in the culture. However, what pro-lifers do now, I support you and I pray for you!

Are you sharing these posts with your friends? What do you think? Would a law ever pass to give more rights over the lives of the unborn they help create? Are you pro-life or pro-choice, and why? Comment below, share what’s on your mind! And if you have a friend that you want to weigh in on the debate… share the link, bring them in!

Thanks for the support,

Much love,



I couldn’t feel more lost. I’m like a ghost in my own life. I’m there but I can’t connect to anyone or anything. Derek’s been gone for a month. I haven’t heard from him. I don’t know if he’s in the looney bin or in GI JOE school. I. WANT. TO. DIE. But I can’t… because one day Derek is coming back and if I’m not here… I don’t want him to feel like this forever… Being alone, sucks.

“Kaylie and Trevor”

Passing the joint to me Kaylie says, “He’ll be back, but I think it’s fluffing bark-sniff you can’t talk to him. If I were you, I’d march over to Alexis Fabry’s house, kickdown the fluffing door and make that blick tell me how to get in touch with him.”

I just pass the joint to Trevor without taking a hit. I don’t really like smoking marijuana… I only do it because Derek likes to.

Trevor takes a huge drag and exhales a huge plume of smoke in my face… The secondhand high offers a decent buzz right now.

“I can’t believe his parents. Their such fluffing helicopters.” Trevor huffs. He draws his knees to his chest and uses his knees to rest his crossed arms.

Kaylie takes the joint out his fingers. She lays down on the floor, fully intending to finish what’s left on her own.

Derek and I met these two at Brink on our first day. For as long as we’ve known Kaylie, she keeps her pixie cut fiery crimson red and she’s got snake bite piercings on her bottom lip. She dresses like a steam punk princess with a very gothy edge. I don’t know how she can wear long ruffled sleeves all year long in the desert, and long leather boots that go up to the knee, with nearly four-inch heels. She’s really short and Trevor is like basketball star tall… I guess she just tries to catch up. Though with her porcelain complexion, her style of clothing suits her… is that racist of me to think?

Trevor is like Derek’s twin. They both have long hair past their shoulders, that they never wash. They wear vans and loose-fitting jeans or long jean shorts. T-shirts about any legendary rock or metal band and hoodies, even when it is as hot as hades out. They both skateboard too. Though lately, Trevor’s been really into BMX. He even competes in BMX tournaments out in the boonies and up on the mountains. The main difference is, Trevor is like the Mexican version of Derek. Brown skin, black hair, narrow brown eyes… but I’m not sure if Trevor is Mexican… his mom is White and I don’t think he knows who his dad is…

“I get where they’re coming from, it just sucks…” I say as I lie down next to Kaylie. I snuggle her like she’s a body pillow. It feels cool to be this close to a warm body that isn’t a little person.

“Are you coming with us tonight?” Kaylie asks blowing more smoke in my faces.

We both cough because the room is super stuffy now.

“I don’t know… I’m on thin ice with my mom… I guess if she doesn’t have a problem with me staying at your house this weekend… again… for the third time in a row…”

Tonight, Stefan Troy is throwing a costume party at his house in honor of Halloween. Everyone is going to be there. Trevor is supplying the party favors and by party favors that means DRUGS… lots and lots of drugs… all kinds…

I have no idea where Trevor scores such a variety and he sells to a lot of people. I know I shouldn’t hang around him, but other than Derek, Kaylie is one of my people and I don’t get Kaylie without Trevor.

“Babysitter by Default”

“I don’t know what the fluff you do over at the blick’s house, but you ain’t going this weekend.” Jewel said.

“Why not?” I asked.

“All weekend [the jerk] and I have to work the night shift. You need to be here with the little sniffs so nobody calls fluffing CPS on me. Those sniffs sleep like bricks. I know they’d just sleep right through. It’s those fluffing new neighbors thinking their holier-than-fluff and sniff, snooping around and I know, if they knew the sniffs were here alone… I’d be fluffed sideways to TIMBUKTU.” Jewel said.

I didn’t argue.

She added, “The only fluffing thing you’re useful for is being the mod-sammed babysitter.”

Jewel and the jerk left for work without feeding us dinner. It was late, but I couldn’t let my girls starve. I made the Babysitter Chef Special: Box Mac N’ Cheese with Hot Dog Slices. Albany ate like the chunky girl she is… she eats her feelings… and had like all that helpings minus one for little Genie. I didn’t eat because I wasn’t hungry.

Albany took a shower while Genie and I played dolls. Genie doesn’t make Barbie and Ken have sex yet, so she’s still pure and innocent. I try to do everything I can to keep her that way. Life sucks the more you get know about it. After Albany was ready for bed, I said she could watch TV while I gave Genie a bath.

Genie loves to take baths. She loves to swim too. I guess she just loves water. Once Genie gets in the tub with suds, it’s super hard to get her out.

After I get her dressed in her pink night gown, I collect Albany and we all climb into bed together. I didn’t change out of my day clothes and they didn’t ask me if I was going to change. We lied there while I told them the same story about The Yellow Butterfly. They fell asleep at the same point they always do, before I get to the good part. I don’t remember the good part anyhow…

“The Flu”

Poor Albany’s home with a stomach bug, people at our schools must think we’ve taken an extra-long break. Veteran’s day was yesterday. I’m afraid she got the bug from me. I’ve been hanging out with Kaylie a lot, and for the past week she’s been sicker than a dog, but she’s functioning day to day. Her mom won’t let her miss school unless she has to go to the ER and our school is really good about forcing us to make up the hours we miss. Kaylie figured if she was going to suffer, why not suffer through school. But Kaylie finally gave it to me, and I was sick all-day yesterday.

Jewel never let me come out my room. Albany was a doll and switched out my buckets of barf. Her penalty for nursing me back to health was getting cursed with this sickness.

Genie’s had it made though. Jewel and the jerk allowed her to sleep in their bed, with them.

I feel way better today. I think I’m well.

The acidic, musky smell of Albany’s vomit from the garbage bin at the foot of the bed triggers my gag reflex and I find myself rushing to the toilet to offer the contents of my stomach. After I brush my teeth, I go back into the room with toilet paper plugging up my nostrils. The refreshing whiff of crisp toilet paper beats smelling of puke. I take her puke bucket and empty it in the toilet. I disinfect everything with name brand foam cleaner that kills 99.9% of all germs. I wonder if they say that so you don’t sue when you get sick. Truth is, if you get sick, it’s because the germs are already in your system before you took preventive measures or is the company using an honest statistic to advertise their product?

When I bring her puke bucket back, Albany demands I tell her a story.

“I thought you hated my stories.”

In a pouty, moaning voice she confesses, “No I don’t.”

Sitting beside her on the bed, I stroke her bright blonde hair. Her feverish, brown eyes gape at me. She waits for a story to bore her to sleep.

“Which one do you want to hear?”

“The cowgirl one…” Albany pouts.

Okay… that one I remember well. In a cheesy, southern accent, I tell a story, “Gee and Al were just two girls who loved horses and lassos. They may have walked like cowgirls, talked with a twang in their accents like cowgirls, and dressed like hootin’, tootin’ cowgirls, but they were not cowgirls…”

“Not the Flu”

Jewel and the jerk picked up last minute nightshifts. Albany is still sick, so Genie will sleep in Jewel’s bed, Albany will sleep alone in our bed, and I will sleep on the couch.

After just recovering from being sick, and after figuring out my college math and college writing assignments, and after taking care of a sick child all day, I am ready for sleep. I don’t even need the white noise of the TV.

I freak out when a knock on the door wakes me up. It’s 11 pm at night. Only cops and Derek come knocking on my door that late at night… Okay, the cops have never visited us at this apartment yet, but we’ve only been hear a year… anything can happen…

I stand at the door, hesitating to unlock it. My phone rings and it’s Kaylie FaceTiming me. I pick up and see nothing but black.

Her voice echoes as she asks, “Can you let me in already?”

Oh, it’s her knocking on my door.

I let her in and I’m surprised to see her dressed like a normal person. Blue jeans, a blank white tee, and a maroon hoodie that says “fearless” on the back of it. The snake bite piercings are out of her lips too. Weirdest of all, she has tennis shoes on… Something is super different with Kaylie.

Closing the door and relocking it, I ask her, “Are you okay?”

Kaylie holds a plastic convenience store bag in her hands. She paces back and forth, in between the couch and the coffee table.

“Jewel and [the jerk] are at work right now, right?”

I nod.

She reaches in the bag and pulls out a perfectly unopened pregnancy test. I don’t even know what to say. She thinks she’s pregnant?

“I don’t think I have the flu… if I did… I should be over it by now, but I’m sick all the time and certain smells make me sick. I’m tired all the time,” she sighs. That is true, a few days ago she kept falling asleep in class. “And my boobs really hurt… I get migraines lately a lot…” she went on and on and she said she googled all her symptoms and she’s either pregnant or has brain cancer. God, I want neither to be true, I definitely don’t want her to die, so I hope she’s pregnant if those are our only two options to pick from.

“Don’t you and Trevor use like all the free condoms we get from school.”

“Of course, but when we don’t have any… you know… we just pull the goalie…”

I smack my face accidently as I sigh dropping my head into my palm… How dumb is SHE?!

I’m super curious though, why she is not dressed like herself. “Why are you dressed like a normal person?”

Kaylie stops moving. With her back to me, she states, “Because I threw out all my goth and steam punk clothes.”


“Because I’m reinventing myself.”

“Why? Just because you might be pregnant.”

“No… I have a different reason.”

“What’s that?”

Kaylie faces me. She lifts up the pendent on her black thread necklace of a silver cross. “I rededicated myself to Christ. I believe again.”

Whoa… I never knew Kaylie ever believed. I know her parents are incredibly religious, but Kaylie never said she ever believed. She just mocked her senile parents for believing in “the Man in the Sky”. They are a little long in the tooth to be parents to a teenager, but I give them respect for putting up with Kaylie and never hitting her. She could murder someone and they would probably take the blame for her.

“And I needed to get away from all the negativity in my life, I felt like my clothes were a huge part of that. My old clothes from middle school are all I have until I go shopping with my mom.”

She goes on to explain that it happened last night at church. For once, she went with her mom, and she went to youth group instead of sitting in regular service. During the end of the service, the youth pastor was praying for people and she stopped in the middle of what she was doing and pointed at Kaylie. The youth pastor said something no one knew… not even me and Kaylie tells me everything… and then the pastor told Kaylie her destiny… that she’s called sing in the Kingdom. Kaylie said she didn’t open up her voice once to sing last night, but she can sing better than Beyoncé… sorry Queen B.

“Okay… okay… but what makes you think you might be pregnant and why can’t you take that test at home?”

“I don’t want to unload this drama on my parents unless I’m actually pregnant. They’re so happy I gave my life back to Christ… They actually look at me like they’re proud of me now… I don’t want to lose that unless I know I have to…”

“If Jewel finds that box, and thinks that I’m pregnant-,” before I could tell her the ugly truth, Kaylie assures me that she’ll throw it out when she leaves.

We go to the bathroom together. I stand with my back against the wall as she does her thing, peeing on a stick. I’m so nervous. I’m totally freaked out Jewel is going to stop home on her break and she’s going to see us and lose it… I’m also scared about the results. Now that Kaylie’s a believer, she’s not even going to think about abortion, which is fine… it’s her body… but Trevor would make an awful dad. He sells drugs… he gets high all the time… and he’s a jerk… I over look his jerkiness for Kaylie’s sake and I try to compare him to Derek, but he’s not Derek—he’s only Derek’s Mexican look alike. Well, there’s adoption… That might not be a bad choice. I’m sure her parents are going to push for that anyway with their good ole Christian values.

Kaylie sits on the toilet, with her pants up and the lid closed, holding the test as we wait for the results. The timer on my phone goes off and I ask, “So?”

She stares at the test. Way too curious to wait I go over and look at it and read upside down…

“Pregnant…” I sigh.

It’s not like I didn’t see that coming.

Kaylie puts the stick in the box and she tosses the box in the bag from the store. She sets the bag by her feet. I crouch to get eye level with her. I rub her knee trying to be comforting but I feel like I’m epically failing. “We will… figure this out…”

“I’m not getting an abortion.”

“Okay.” I say.

“I can do this…”

“We’ll do this. I’m a great babysitter.”

“No. I’m not raising the baby. I’m going to place the baby in adoption.”

Wow… this is easier than I thought to talk her into adoption.

“But I need you to remind me I want to do this… the adoption thing… when the baby is born… I might want to change my mind, but I can’t, okay?”

“Savvy!” Albany whines knocking on the bathroom door. “I feel sick and the bucket is full…”

Kaylie and I stand up together. We rush out of the bathroom to let the Puking Queen in.

I ask Kaylie if she wants to stay the night, but she says she needs to go home and figure how she is going to tell her parents. She hugs me like she might not see me for a while. I hope they don’t do the cliché Christian movie thing and send her away. That would be SO LAME!

She kisses me on the cheek and I kiss her back.

“Love you girl…” I say.

“Love ya. Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Savvy!” Genie yells. “My tummy hurts!”

I roll my eyes. I hate that Jewel isn’t here to parent her own kids! I hate that my sickness made them sick. And I pray to the universe Jewel and the jerk get sicker than dogs.


Kaylie sees herself out as I rush to little Genie’s aide. In the hallway, before I can reach her, she pukes on the floor… Thank God the hallway is tile.

“Derek Phones”

Derek: Hey babe…

Savvy: It’s so good to hear your voice. Are you okay?

Derek: Same. I’m good.

Savvy: So… where did you end up going?

Derek: If I told you, I’d have to kill you.

They laugh.

Savvy: (interpreting his joke) Military School. That’s good, right?

Derek: Yes, miss.

Savvy: Miss? You’re brainwashed already? That was fast.

Derek: Uncle Sam’s a good motivator.

Savvy: I miss you.

Derek: I miss you too.

Savvy: I love you.

Derek: I love you.

Savvy: We should have made love.

Derek: No! I mean… I’m glad were waiting. I don’t want you to be scared… Have you thought about talking to someone?

Savvy: Talking to someone about what?

Derek: Why you cry at the thought of having sex… like maybe you’re a lesbian.

Savvy: Ew! I mean… no disrespect, but I like men. I mean, I like you. I love you.

Derek: Then why do you cry when we almost go all the way?

Savvy couldn’t tell him why. She couldn’t talk about it. Not even to him. Not to anybody.

Savvy: I’m just scared about getting pregnant… My mom was 15 when she had me. Aunt Betty was 16 when she had Arnie, and 19 when she had Netty… Kaylie’s 17 and pregnant.

Derek: What?! Is Trevor the father?

Savvy: Of course, she’s faithful… My point is, I don’t want a baby any time soon and like the women in my family have the worst luck.

Derek: Netty’s not a mom yet.

Savvy: She’s different. She’s a God Girl.

Derek: About that…

Savvy: About what?

Derek: God… do you think He’s real?

Savvy: Um… I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it. Do you think there’s a God?

Derek: Yeah, but doesn’t Netty tell you about God all the time?

Savvy: She talks about God a lot, but she lets me talk about whatever and never judges me… Like she’s different than a lot of religious people. She’s cool. Why are you wondering if God is real?

Derek: The Chaplin is really cool here and I went to Chapel last night… It’s just made me think about a lot of things… This is going to sound nuts, but I think God wanted me here at this Military School. And I think God wants me to reconnect with my Dad. I hated him when he left. I hated him more when he got remarried. And I really really hated him when Shay was born… but like after Chapel last night… I don’t hate him anymore. The Chaplin prayed for anyone who hated their father, whether they went to the altar or not, and like I woke up today and I don’t hate him. Tomorrow him and Shay are coming to visit.

Savvy: If God is real and he wanted you there, why would he take you away from me?

Derek: I don’t know… I’ll be back soon…

“Fluffed Up”

A light, small box inside a plastic bag whaps me awake and Jewel hovers over me on as I lie on the couch, comfortable nestled in the crevice of the seat cushions and the back cushions.

“You fluffed up, BLICK!” Jewel yells.

“What did I do?”

Throwing the box wrapped in a bag at me, she explains, “You didn’t think I wouldn’t find this hiding behind the toilet. You fluffed up and got knocked up you little blick.”

“It’s not mine. It’s-,” She slaps me across the face before I could explain.

I get up off the couch crushing the box in my hands trying to stop myself from hitting the woman that gave me life. As calmly as possible I say, “I’m not pregnant. I’ll pee on a stick to prove it.”

“Okay,” she says as she grabs me by my ponytail and she drags me to the bathroom. She throws me to the cold, hard tile floor toward the sink cabinet. “In the back there’s a couple of boxes. Take them both.”

I take them both out and set them on the countertop near the toilet. I take one out and ask, “You’re not going to ask why the one you found is positive.”

“Shut up and take a new test.”

Fortunately, I do have to pee. I wonder, “Can I pee on both of them at the same time?”

“Don’t be a brilliant-butt with me you sniff… Take them both however the fluff you need to.”

I unwrap the second one and I sit on the jon. “Is pee going to get on my hand because that will just be gross?”

Jewel glares at me with death. I hold my breath as I pee on both sticks and yes, pee got on my hand. I set them down on the counter as I wash my hands. Jewel picks them up and walks out of the bathroom.

Where is she going? I hurry to follow her. She paces the living room floor, holding two peed-on-pregnancy-tests in one hand and a newly lit cigarette in the other. I sit back down on the couch. My eyes are so heavy and I’m so tired. I can’t wait to fall asleep and for this drama to be over.

Unexpectedly, after a few minutes, after she looks at them both, she throws them at me and yells, “GET. THE. FLUFF. OUT!”

Okay, my mother is officially insane. I’m not pregnant. I can’t be. Derek and I have never had sex. Derek and I have never had sex…

I got my period though… It was lighter than usual. Brownish… but it’s like that sometimes. No… like… the jerk sucks but he’s not stupid…

I pick up both tests and I can’t believe what I’m reading. Both say I’m pregnant… these have to be old or something. These are false positives. I’m not pregnant!

I stand up, “Something’s wrong. That test wasn’t mine. I swear.”

Jewel lunges at me with a raised hand ready to slap me but she doesn’t. She puts her hand down. “I’m not going to feed another fluffing mouth around here. As long you’re pregnant, you can’t be here. You have 10 minutes to grab what you can and just get out… I don’t want to see your fluffing face again.”

Crying, I explain everything. How the test she found belonged to Kaylie, and Kaylie’s going to put her baby up for adoption. I tell her I can do that too. Or I tell her, I’ll get an abortion.

She slaps me twice, first across the face with her palm, then her backhand came for my other cheek.

“You wouldn’t like it if I killed you, would you? If you get an abortion, you better not show your fluffing face at my fluffing funeral blick. Your Derek’s problem now. Get out.”

Jewel slowly walks away from me.

“It’s not Derek’s. Derek still thinks I’m a virgin… that way at least. It’s Kurt’s…”

Jewel doesn’t look back at me. She rushes down the hallway. She busts through the one of the doors. I rush to see which room and I’m heartbroken to see she chose the wrong room.

The girls are up now. (Since Genie is sick, I laid her down next to Albany.) Crying and scared. Asking Jewel what’s going on. I stand in the doorway and I watch my mother pack my backpack. When she’s done, she throws it at me with one of Derek’s hoodies. She shoves me out of her way. In the hallway, she gets in my face and loudly whispers, “It’s one thing you’re knocked up, but it’s another thing to fluffing lie to my face so you can manipulate me to help you murder a baby. I know Kurt hasn’t been fluffing you because he fluffs me every chance he gets. He can’t keep his hands off me honey, and whatever tricks you know, I’m whole lot better, because I’m the original. Not some watered down, fluffing stained, negro sniff.” She spits in my face. “I don’t know what ungrateful blick you are, but you’re no daughter of mine. GET. OUT. Before I throw you out. I don’t really care what you do, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kill that sniff you’re carrying because that may be the only thing that will ever love you.”

“Oh… is that why you kept me? Because I would love you?! Well, I don’t. I HATE YOU JEWEL AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!”

For the first time ever. I slap her and I take the cigarette out of her hand, turn it around and burn her palm. As she hollers from the pain, I take off running. I don’t even put on my shoes. I don’t throw any pants on. I barge out the front door. I run down the stairs and I run as far way from Jewel as I can.

“The Boogie Man is Real”

The Boogie Man is Real.

At night, I try to sleep.

He emerges from the dark.

He lures me into the dark with him.

He puts the fear in me.

He makes me cry.

He steals my soul.

He robs my love.

Minutes feel like forever.

He leaves no bruises.

The Boogie Man is Real.

He’s inside me.

It’s my fault.

I’m dirt.

The Boogie Man is Real.

He haunts me.

I can’t say anything.

She wouldn’t believe me…

That the Boogie Man is Real.

“The Jerk”

The Jerk is Kurt.

Kurt Raines.

He is the Boogie Man.

He’s why I cried

When I tried

To make love to Derek.

Kurt took advantage of me again and again.

He was always safe.

Or so I thought.

I hate him.

I hate Kurt the jerk.



Positively Unexpected-2

…About a Month Ago…

KINGSTON stood at the bar, in the nightclub, only lit by neon colors and strobe lights that pulsed to the rhythm of the dubstep music. Leaning on one elbow, against the bar top, he looked at the gold band on his left ring finger and felt compelled to remove it.

Panic rose in his heart when he thought about commitment, when he thought about forever with one person for the rest of his life. Marriage never came across as a prison to him, he saw it as something beautiful. However, marriage wasn’t for Kingston… at least not in this life, maybe the next one… if there is one.

Hans, the bartender, approached Kingston from his post and set a martini down for Kingston. Hans stared Kingston down with flirty eyes and as he leaned in toward the commitment-coward, he shouted over the music into Kingston’s ear.

“I get off in an hour, want to come back to my place?”

Kingston gulped ferociously nervous. Hurriedly, he slid the ring off his finger and clenched it in his fist as he stepped back from the bar. Kingston was completely interested in getting wasted and hooking up with someone, but not Hans… Hans was too easy to pick up and Kingston wanted a challenge. The hunt was more erotic than the kill to Kingston.

“Not tonight Hans.” Kingston spoke loudly. While he tucked his ring in his back pocket, he exchanged it for his phone. He swiped his touchscreen left and placed his thumb in the center. The phone scanned his thumb print and opened up his electronic wallet, from there he pulled up his credit card. Then he pointed his phone at the docking scanner and told Hans, “Can I add 500 to my tab?”

Relentlessly showcasing his disappointment to rejection with a sour face, Hans picked up the martini and said, “Your wish is my command…” Slinging back the martini himself, Hans added after he swallowed, “Let me know if you change your mind.” Sighing he also asked, “Do you want anything to drink now?”

“A shot… of whatever you got that’s the strongest.” Kingston said in a desperate need to calm his nerves or else he was about to have a panic attack and he’d be forced to call G’s agent to come rescue him. Tonight, Kingston was going to man up.

In fact, that was perhaps exactly what Kingston needed… to be top dog, assertive, in charge completely for once. He was sick of every aspect of his life being micro-managed by a publicist, G’s agent, and the pressure to uphold the team’s Pride image. Even here, all the way across the bridge, the thought of Kingston’s daily regiment to keep Giles happy and focused on the game sucked the life from his lungs!

A slight finger poked Kingston in the shoulder, and he jerked to see who it was.

“Sorry,” the woman apologized. She seemed familiar to Kingston but he couldn’t remember where he saw her.

“It’s fine. Am I in your way?” Kingston wondered, turning to face her. He straightened up his blazer and adjusted the belt looped through his jeans. He doubled checking his shirt was still tucked in properly.

“Ah… no… but you’re Kingston Rourke, right? Like Giles Bordner’s boyfriend, right?”

Kingston hesitated contemplating how to answer… what would pose the biggest challenge? Based on the woman’s lack of a manicure, natural laying hair, and minimal make-up… Musty fragrance of lemongrass sweatiness infused with the powerful punch of peppermint. The woman of ambiguous ethnicity before him had to be a liberal feminist… Really?! Was she Hispanic, Native American, Asian, or Mixed…???

The only important question to answer was whether or not she identified as a lesbian, and then that would determine if talking to her would be worth his time tonight. Her lack of sensual energy made Kingston think she was A-sexual, not interested in sex whatsoever with anyone…

“Excuse me,” she said poking him again, “Are you Kingston Rourke?” She took a swig of her imported beer, wiped her lips dry of foam residue, and was about to say something again when Kingston finally answered.


Her brown eyes suddenly got wide with excitement. “I’m sorry…” She held her pointer finger up to signal him to wait a moment as she guzzled the remainder of her beer down. She made the bottle whistle a unique sound when she pried the bottle from her lips as she drew a quick breath. “This may be out of line, but can you confirm the reason why you won’t marry Giles? Is it because you’re not really gay?”

Highly offended, Kingston shouted, “WHAT?”

“Well, like… according to your social media accounts you were straight all throughout high school, then in college you became a pan sexual, afterwards bi-sexual… THEN, one day you’re asked out by Giles Bordner, THE highEST paid man in BASEball and NOW you’re just gay… If that were true… you’ve been together for like five years… shouldn’t you be married now if you’re so happy?”

Forget it, maybe he won’t go home with anyone tonight. He can just go stay at a hotel… and then fly to Tokyo to meet up with Giles later in the afternoon. That thought passed when he realized he never stated he was gay, it’s just presumed by everyone and projected by gossip magazines. Kingston remembered the woman.

“Tasha Turner…”

Embarrassed she hung her head as she ran her fingers through her black, flat-ironed hair. Hanging her head back, she shouted, “You recognize me… HUH!!!” Slouching a bit, she sat her head upright, clutching her hip with her hand. “Forget it then.”

“No! I love the Deets. You’re really good with gossip goop!”

Tasha Turner used to work for the country’s most reputable news source left in America. She produced the show of the nation’s favorite anchor, Felix Gladdius, until it was discovered she gave him false intel about the politician who started WWIII to report on, knowing it was false. The politician filed a lawsuit for deformation against her and the station she worked for. Felix also sued her, the network, and he quit to jump ship to another network. Luckily, Tasha had an incredible team of lawyers, she got out with a tiny settlement on her part and was let go from the station.

The Deets, a gossip online talk show loved the controversy from her life so much, they hired her as an anchor… Now she shared the latest dirt on celebrities making millions more than she did before.

“Forget I said anything. I’m gonna go.” She set her empty beer bottle on the bar and went to leave when Kingston grabbed her by the hand.

She turned back at him and an electric look her in eye answered Kingston’s question… she was not a lesbian. She slid her fingers out of his grasp.

“What do want? I came up to you?”

“Off the record…” Kingston went on to say, but she erupted with laughter.

“As a gossip anchor, I don’t need any sources to say what I’m gonna say. As long as I don’t offend you in person, I can’t get sued, trust me, I checked according to our licensing.”

“Um, whatever, I’m not offended. Um, but to answer your question… Giles understands I like assorted flavors… And tonight, I think I want to try something I haven’t had in a while.”

Tasha bellowed forward laughing harder, except this time she covered her mouth. To ease his awkward discomfort, he chuckled a bit.

He asked, “What’s so funny?”

Taking a few deep breaths, she stopped laughing but she kept a giddy smile showcasing her dimpled cheeks. “My friend said you’ve never been with a woman in your life and I disagreed, so we made a bet. If I could confirm you were gay, I’d lose. All I needed to win was reasonable doubt but you provided proof by hitting on me. Rich!”

“Who’s your friend?”

She pointed to a tall lanky man dancing like a raver with a group of like-manner dancers.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Kingston asked.

Unsure how to answer that, feeling like the man asked a dumb question, she glared at him, “Didn’t I just say friend?”

“Maybe you like me back and you don’t want to blow your chance of getting my number…”

As the newly offended party, Tasha gasped, “Carter and I may go home… together… if we don’t find other people tonight… but trust me… I’ll never date that guy,”

“Then come back to my place.”

A little perplexed by his offer yet incredibly intrigued, “Don’t you have a boyfriend at home?”

“He’s in Tokyo supporting the ‘Team’ by trying to recruit a transgender player to their minors team here the states.”

Crossing her arms, she commented, “Giles Bordner is like the Jackie Robinson of the Pride Sports Movement, isn’t he?”

“What do you say? If you come home with me, you’ll definitely be the winner of the wager.”

Biting her bottom lip she closed her eyes. She whispered something to herself Kingston couldn’t make out.

“What did you say?” He checked.

“I can’t believe I’m contemplating this!” She shouted. “I just really love to win and gloat about it… And you’re hot as heck… It’s kind of hard to say no. When was the last time you were tested?”

Knowing “tested” referred to STI-Testing he lied, “Three months ago. All clean. And don’t worry, we have a whole drawer filled with–,” she stopped him before he could discuss contraceptives.

Grabbing him by the lapels of his navy blue blazer, she reeled him close and kissed him on the lips. When she finished she let him go. Kingston kissed a girl and he liked it, ironically her chapstick tasted like cherry. He kissed her back with a bit more intensity than she offered.

She broke away from the kiss to say, “My answer is yes, are you sure?”

“Yes.” He kissed her back taking her hand. Ending their lip lock and luring her out of the club, he said, “I’ll get us a cab.”

After she got her things and said good-bye to Carter. They hailed a cab outside the club, crossed the bridge to Manhattan, and went back to Kingston’s penthouse. And in the very bed he shared many nights with Giles, he spent one night with Tasha Turner.


Kingston couldn’t get her out of his mind. For about a month, the whiff of lemongrass made him quiver… in a good way. He wanted another moment with her. Giles would be gone for a week. They’d have the place to themselves for a week. Best of all, the doorman believed Tasha was his new bff.

She never gave him a number. Trying to contact her at work was impossible. And the only social media she had these days was Squeak. After debating for almost a month whether or not to make contact with, he decided to follow her on Squeak.

Like a junkie needing a heroine fix. He stalked her Squeak Personal Nest, checking to see if she took messages and fortunately for him, she did. He sent her a message from his old account that he hardly used: JKingNow and asked in a message: This is Kingston, do you remember me from last month?

She messaged back: Yes. I do.

Sitting on the living room dark sectional couch, in his boxers, butterflies fluttered in his stomach. He felt twelve years old again, passing notes in the classroom to his recent crush.

He messaged: Can you meet me at the penthouse? I want to talk to you about something but not via message… will you come by?

It took a long time for her to reply but she finally did.

Her message read: Okay, when should I come by?

He laughed, picturing her ask that question in person, knowing she used his own words on purpose to be snarky.

It was odd… They spent one night together. In bed for almost 9 hours, well into the late morning. He cooked her French Toast and they discussed politics and tv programs… They only talked about surface level things, yet he felt a connection to her… Something deeper.

@!%$. He thought. His chest tightened as the weight of deep fear crawled upon him. He rushed to the kitchen and reached in the cabinet where he kept all his over the counter and prescription drugs. As he broke out hyperventilating he rummaged through the pill bottles in search of his anxiety med.

Finding the bottle, he popped off the cap and took two pills to calm down sooner. As an expert pill popper his entire life, he didn’t need anything to chase them down. He forced himself to take regular breaths. He went back to the couch and lied down setting his phone on the dark brown coffee table.

The phone kept squeaking as his inbox flooded with messages from Tasha. He didn’t have the courage to look until his medicine kicked in, but having taken too much he was ready to go back to sleep. He looked at her most recent message.

Tasha’s recent message: I’m on my way. I’ll be there within the hour.

As he nodded off to sleep, he messaged: Now won’t work for me. I’ll let you know when later.

Tasha’s final message: You asked me if I was free? What the @!%$ ?!?!?!?!??!?! I NEED to talk to you. It’s a MAJOR emergency!


Notes from the Author:

Blog Viewer: Brianna, you’re a Christian and you wrote a story that includes fornication and the LGBT Community?

Brianna: Yes.

Blog Viewer: Do you believe it’s okay to be gay and to be a Christian? Or to be transgender and Christian.

Brianna: Can a Christian be a liar, a sinner, a hypocrite? Don’t get me wrong, I believe in the power of the cross of Jesus the Messiah. I believe His blood paid for the forgiveness of sins for all humanity. And I’m grateful for Free Will, which allows us to assess the Gospel and partake in the eternal life which Christ purchased for us. I believe anyone in genuine relationship with Jesus Christ cannot stay the same person they were yesterday. I believe the anointing breaks the yokes and bondage of sin.

Therefore, I think anyone from the LGBT Community that claims God still loves them as they are, I think they’re right, but where I think they’re wrong is to believe God is okay with that lifestyle. Homosexuality is sin. Just like lying… just like having sex outside of marriage. But it’s not my job to tell people they are sinners. It’s my job to spread the Gospel, and if you struggle with your identity and struggle with your faith- message me or leave a comment with directions to contact you. If Jesus can forgive Judas, He can forgive you! Jesus the Messiah changes everything and His love never fails.

Blog Viewer: Where did you come up with this idea?

Me: I was thinking about writing Wayd v. Rowe, but I didn’t feel ready… Then I thought how would America look if a law like that passed, and what would America be like in the future as we become a more inclusive, open-minded society… and WHALA! I got this idea!

Blog Viewer: Any other controversial surprises ahead?

Brianna: Not really… not in my book.

Blog Viewer: What do you want your audience to glean from this particular series?

Brianna: That Jesus our Messiah is the only compass to point us True North to our identity. We never fully know who we are until we know Him completely. The only way we know Him fully, is to be in relationship with Him. Not just living for Him and going to church and reading scripture, but praying and hearing back from heaven in our heart and turning the world upside down. And I really want people to know they identify how they identify, and if they come into question with who they are, I hope this story suggests they can come to Jesus the Messiah and get the answer to who they really are in Him.

John 3:16 & 17 makes it very clear. Jesus didn’t come to judge the world, he came to love the world back into relationship with God. Jesus said the greatest thing you can do for your friend is to lay down your life for them, and Jesus did just that… He died for me, you, and anyone seeking the truth and to become who they were destined to be. Your life has purpose and you can find complete meaning in life when you enter into relationship with Jesus the Messiah. Comment below if you’re interested in accepting Jesus today!

And if you’re intrigued by this story, share, share, share! Only if want to share… A huge thank you if you do. If you blog or have some dream I can support, post a link in the comments and I will follow you, share, talk about to my friends… (I will review to assess if I feel comfortable supporting it.) Let’s build connections. Every dreamer needs a team to make dreams become a reality!


Love is a strong word. Well, it’s supposed to be a strong word. In many languages, there’s more than one word for love, because love between lovers entails a different meaning—a deeper meaning. Day three of being friends with Derek, I loved him. Not quite like a brother so I guess like a best friend.

We were 4 years old, at a daycare ran out of some old lady’s house. I forgot her name. I remember that the house had brown shaggy carpet, faded yellow flower wall paper, and the house smelled like old person and peppermint. There were 7 of us that stay consistent until we went to real school. I was there before Derek showed up.

I remember when Alexis dropped him off. She wore pink scrubs but I thought they were pajamas. As a kid Derek’s hair was bright, children of the corn blonde—so like platinum blonde— and long down to his butt like a girl. I kept thinking he was a girl for the first few hours we played together. I kept asking, “Why are you dressed like a boy? You’re so pretty.” And he’d snap back, “I’m a boy!”

I got put in time out for bullying him for his long hair. I had a reputation as a little rebel, so the old lady didn’t believe I was genuinely confused. At snack time, I was liberated from the prison of the boring corner, and she made me sit across from him. I gave him my banana as an olive branch hoping to establish peace. As we reached across the table, we locked eyes and he was the first person with blue eyes I didn’t hate or wasn’t afraid of because he was so sweet.

By day three at daycare together, we were playing together nonstop and begging our moms to go to Mickey D’s together. And I loved him. I didn’t get why, but I loved him.

We didn’t go to the same school until 5th grade. My mom moved us right next to an elementary school, which luckily for me was Derek’s school.

And of course, no one understood our friendship. They thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Sometimes we pranked new students and said we were siblings, and they would wonder, “Is Savvy adopted?” Like a mixed girl couldn’t be his fraternal twin sister? No one fell for the lie. My curly, maroon-ish brown hair and nearly black eyes and dark olive skin never tricked them. I found it funny, because I had two half-siblings that looked white and I really had two half-siblings that were fully white. No one believes I’m related to them either.

Derek’s parents went through a nasty divorce over the summer through middle school and Derek’s dad moved to California. The school year, Thanksgiving, and Easter he spent in Tucson, with his mom. The Summer and Christmas with his dad. And maybe it was a little ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ of us, but we talked on the phone all the time, we texted each other, and we messaged each other via direct messages.

It wasn’t until 8th grade, when we kissed… that we became boyfriend and girlfriend… And he is the love of my life. I will not live without him.

“O, Mother…”

“WHO the FLUFF do you think you are?” Jewel questioned me. “What kind of SNIFF is this?” She rhetorically asked throwing a bundle of condemns on the coffee table. All the pretty colors too, blue, purple, red, green… all the colors of the rainbow and a couple of dental dams too. You would think a mother like her would be so proud I’m so cautious with my sex life.

SMACK… across the face… Which stings bitterly… If figures a mother like her isn’t proud. Angrily, I choose to lie. It doesn’t matter at this point. She’ll treat me like she wants to treat from here.

“So my secret stash is not so secret anymore… oops…” I say with so much attitude I piss myself off.

SMACK… across the other cheek… She’s so caring to even out the pain of her punishment.

“Genie found that when that little SNIFF was helping put away your FLUFFING laundry little BLICK… She thought they were slimy balloons…”

I start laughing as Jewel proceeds to tell me Genie and Albany took some out of the package and blew them up like balloons… HOW HILARIOUS! Derek and I do that for fun sometimes after we get a fresh bundle from school. They pass them out on Fridays before every weekend after school. And we’re always allowed to stop by the counselors’ offices and ask for more. Our school is progressive. Then again, they have to be. Most of us are high school rejects: flunkies, addicts, juvenile delinquents, LBGTQ, or teen parents… some of us are more than one. There are a select few who are elites: home-school-sheltered, or chose-to-be-there… but they are the FEW.

“SHUT UP!” Jewel barked. I tried but I couldn’t.

For that she smacked me full force from every direction. In the face, on the head, in the throat, on my bare legs, with the front and back of her hand. The only thing that stopped her from using two hands was the cigarette in her writing hand.

Outraged I wouldn’t be quiet, she pulled me by the neckline of my grateful dead t-shirt and pulled down the collar, stretching it out to expose my shoulder. She threatened to burn me for the fourth time there, if I didn’t be quiet. Immediately, I stopped laughing, I STOPPED breathing, holding my breath to prevent myself from laughing.

She threw me up against the back of our black pleather couch. The coolness of the material soothed my stinging skin. She paced the living room floor, taking a drag of her cigarette here and there. For once in a long time, she didn’t know what else to say to me. Maybe she forgot why she woke me up at 3 am in the morning to discipline me.

This happened before I got home from my night class at the community college. The girls showed me their condemn balloons and I panicked she was going to beat the snot out of me there, right in front of everyone because I figured they were from my unused stash because I really am NOT sexually active. I don’t even masturbate like a normal teenager. I know… I sound like a total fiction character. I’m just not crazy about sex and I’ve seen so many pictures of STIs… I don’t want to take any chances.

But she let me eat my dinner. She let me watch TV with the girls. She let me get them ready and put them to bed. She let me do my homework in the kitchen. She let me get ready for bed. She let me say goodnight and go to sleep like there would no punishment for me.

Not until 3 AM came, after I had to hear her and the jerk screw on the other side of our paper-thin walls. After I heard them share some drinks in the living room and get high and screw again… I hope not on the couch where I’m sitting now. The girls sleep like bricks and can sleep threw a monsoon and/or a microburst. I’m the light sleeper. My sisters slept peacefully on our queen bed while I was awake for most the night. I had just fallen asleep because the all ruckus stopped and then I was woken up by a very angry Jewel.

She just yanked me out of bed, well, the half-naked jerk was ordered to sit me up, throw me over his shoulder, and carry me to the living room… He’s still in really good shape for an ex-marine. He went off to bed because he’s never apart of any disciplinary meetings and actions. She grabbed a fresh pack of cigarettes off the coffee table. Took a new one out, lit it with a match from her “Deus Dive Bar” matchbook, and threw both packages in the décor glass bowl in the center of the black, glossy coffee table. She pulled the condemns and dental dams out of her bra and tossed them on the coffee table toward me. Then she began her interrogation filled with physical torture.

She could just be pacing to psychologically mess with me. To confuse me or to keep me in a panic so I can’t anticipate her next move.

She stopped and faced me. She cocked her hip to the side and she crossed one arm underneath her chest, and she propped her smoking hand up via that elbow perpendicular to her free hand. She took a quick drag then she bent low and tapped her excess ash into the ash tray on the coffee table.

“I was 15 when I had you Savannah. FLUFFING 15 and I’ll be FLUFFED to have history FLUFFING repeat itself, you hear me?” Putting her cigarette in her mouth, only allowing the corner of her lips to lock it in, she walked away saying, “Find a better place for your MOD-SAMMED FLUFFING FLUFF STASH.”

“Bussing It”

Every day. To school- bussing it. To college- bussing it. To work- bussing it. To home bussing it. On the weekend- bus it to Derek’s- bus it to the mall- bus it to the game shop- skate shop- anywhere I want to go- bus it. PUBLIC TRANSIT SUCKS. Majority of the time it smells like sweat, urine, and unbathed hobo. Early in the morning, afternoon when high schools let out, and on the weekend during waking hours- the bus is FULL. Ugh?! And my 16th birthday is like not that far away… but will I get a car? No! I’m too poor for that😊 Will I get to drive occasionally- ha! I wish😊

I’m old enough for a learner’s permit and Jewel won’t take me to the DMV to get one. If I want one, I have to bus it there to get one… And who will teach me how to drive? Not Jewel, she has no time. Not the jerk, he has no car. Not Netty or Arnie because I like never get to see them. If Jewel knew I still talked to them I’m pretty sure she’d give me hell.

The real kicker is… Jewel hates lugging Genie and Albany all over the place and she doesn’t trust me to take them anywhere on the bus… so Jewel makes the statement like, “Sav you need to FLUFFING be 16 already so you can drive these little SNIFFs all over the place.”

What does that mean? She’ll teach me how to drive when I’m 16, or I’m just supposed to know how by then?”

I should be used to riding the bus. Both my life and riding the bus are very much the same in terms how I feel about them. I HATE THEM.

“Maybe Baby”

Tonight is the night! Jewel went to Vegas with the jerk for the weekend. The girls are going to bed at 9 pm and Derek is coming over. His mom is working the night shift at the hospital, so she’ll never know he’s not at home and because it’s our anniversary… we agreed it’s time to have sex…

Like, I don’t really want to completely. I mean I want to… I love him… everyone says you should be in love when you do it for the first time… but I don’t feel like I’m ready… This is huge! I show him like every day that I love him. I help him in class. I give him extra cash for the bus. I go with him to the skate park to watch him skate even though I think it’s totally boring. I pull him out of his funk when he’s depressed. I got a tattoo of his name that mom doesn’t know about for him… I go to parties with him and get high with him, and drink with him, and go down on him… because I would do anything for him. He’s my soulmate. And all I asked of him were two things, let me get good grades in school and let me not have sex all the way until I’m ready.

We were at a party last weekend. I told Jewel I went to Kaylie’s for the weekend, which was true, but we snuck out to go to Hayley’s party. She lives out in the Foothills. Her parents are loaded and she should go to private school, but the only high school that would take her was Brink, ours… She’s got a huge rap sheet. Her parents are gone so much they’re never around to even care when she adds to it.

A group of us were sharing some seriously good KGB via Hayley’s favorite bong… and some how the guys were talking about how gifted they were in their manhood. Everyone teased Derek saying he was the tiniest amongst the men and Derek got all defensive and pants’d himself to show the whole group how well-endowed he was… After that… all the girls from that group, even Hayley were flirty with him all night… Then it got around the entire school, and all day, everyday I have to watch girls flirt with Derek… in the hallways with small talk, in P.E. with their bodies, and in class by passing notes. Derek’s smart… he ignores it all as best he can and he shows me the notes so we can laugh about the girls… but I’m scared. If I don’t do more. I’ll lose him and he’s always been there. He can’t just stop being there.

So we were bussing it, after school, heading to my place and he told me to stop worrying about all the attention he was getting from girls at school. He reminded me that I’m his one true love. That we will be together forever. He reminded me our anniversary was Friday night and after being together for 3 years and knowing each other for 12 years… it was time… it was time to celebrate by making love. This was on Wednesday, I think… And originally we were going to do it at his house because his mom would be working, and I was going to use Kaylie as a cover and she was down with it as long as I promised to use protection, but when I went to ask Jewel to stay the night at Kaylie’s, Jewel announced her and the jerk were going to Vegas for the weekend.

“Tell us a story!” Genie yells from the hallway.

Genie and Albany come rushing around the corner, in their pajamas, all ready for bed. They climb on the couch, Genie to my left, Albany to my right.

Genie screams, “Tell us a story!”

“No, let’s just jump on the couch.” Albany says smiling. She faintly laughs as she stands up taking position. “We never get to when mom is here.”

Genie nods her hand and goes to stand up too. Expect, I fold her in my arms and sit her in my lap. Then I grab her by her arm pits and use all my strength and lift her in the air as I rise to my feet. “Let’s go jump on the bed.

As I rush to our bedroom, Genie spreads out her arms and yells, “I can fly!”

Albany chases after us and then passes us around the corner to the hallway to get to the bed first. When Genie and I get to the room, Albany is quite the gymnast doing back flips on the bed.

“Hey! No flips, just jumps!” I remind her to stay safe.

I toss Genie on the bed but I stay on the ground. I let the two of them jump their hearts out. Again and again they asked me to join them, but I stay firm and decline. If we break the bed, we’ll all get knocked around and burned for sure.

When they tired out, which was like two minutes later, they got under the covers. I tucked them in… and gave both those blue-eyed blondies a kiss on the lips goodnight. The light was off and the night light was on. I was halfway out the door when—

 “Story!” Genie yells.

“No!” Albany shouts back.

Genie and Albany enter a verbal fighting contest to see who could be the loudest and get their way. I flip the light back on and take a seat at the foot of the bed and yell, “SHUT UP!”

Albany jolts up and says, “That was creepy, you sounded just like mom.”

Genie adds, “Don’t do that again… please…” Covering half her face with the blue comforter. Then she chants in a loud whisper, “Story! Story! Story!”

“It’s time for bed.” I say.

 “Can you please tell us a story?” Genie asks with a gentle voice sitting up.

Albany rolls her eyes as she plops back down, “Fine…” she sighs. “Tell a stupid story. Just not the one about the cowgirls… That’s really stupid.” Albany covers her face like she’s a corpse.

“Which story should I tell Genie?”

“The Yellow Butterfly,” Genie says.

Albany jabs the air with her legs below the covers as she moans from frustration.

I rip the covers off Albany’s face and see Albany smiling. Albany is just giving us a hard time. She doesn’t want to go bed. She likes the idea of staying up all night just because mom isn’t here. I stick my tongue out at Albany as I throw the cover back over Albany’s face. I tell her to be quiet.

“You be quiet.” Albany sasses back.

“Stop it!” Genie shrieks.

“Both of you shut up or we all go to bed now.” I say firmly.

As if my words are law, neither speaks another phrase.

“Millicent, a beautiful Darlin of the Darlinquex Tribe, wanted to pick fresh wild flowers…” I tell the story of the Yellow Butterfly. It’s a story I made up myself since Jewel never buys the girls books. I don’t always remember it word for word, or even from plot point to the next, but Genie knows it well. Any time I spiral out of control off course, Genie gets the story back on track, nice and steady.

Before I find opportunity to tell the good part, where Millicent follows the Yellow Butterfly home, the roar of Genie’s snoring hits my ear, and Albany appears too quiet. Both of my sisters are sleeping. I’m free to wait for Derek.

Something is wrong. It’s 11 pm and I text Derek a bunch of times but I haven’t heard back from him. This was his idea… If he road his bike over, what if he got hit by a car or worse a bus. Maybe I should start calling hospitals? Or maybe his phone is dead… He never charges it… He always forgets. He’s like the only teenager on the planet not addicted to his phone… It’s weird. I bring my charger everywhere with me and I like never turn off my phone. I put it on silent. I never TURN. IT. OFF. NEVER.

Finally, at 11:13 pm there’s a knock on my door. Relief cools my nerves as I open the door to Derek, who steps into the living room fuming!

“It’s fluffing bark-sniff!” He yells.

I take his hands and put them on my waist, and I cup his face in my hands. Staring him straight in the eye, I ask what’s going.

We take a deep breath together and he rests his forehead against mine. He breaks into to tears and through his muffled groaning he explains… His mom didn’t go to work tonight. He was getting ready to come over and his dad and stepmom and half-brother were in the living room… waiting for him to come out of his room… They confronted him about some drugs his mom found… Weed and prescriptions pills Trevor gave to him… They found the condemns and his mother read his journal… about him wanting to commit suicide. All the drafts of letters he wrote to his family. All the ways he planned to kill himself… His journal had more disturbing things. Drawings and doodles of the creatures that tormented him at night. The confessions that he sometimes heard voices telling him to kill himself. His mom showed his journal to a clinical psychiatrist at the hospital.

Tomorrow his family is taking him to a really expensive mental facility in California. If he tests looney, he’ll be staying until he’s better. If he just needs anti-depressants and is not a threat to himself or to anyone… he’s going to military school…

I can’t stop crying. I feel like the floor got ripped from underneath me. We collapse to the ground and holding each other we cry.

Once we were all cried out. I move as he moved and we sit in the silence with our backs against each other. For some reason the warmth we generate is soothing… sort of…

“We could runaway.” I suggest.

“No… you’re going to college and high school at the same time… don’t run from that…”

“I don’t care. I don’t need school like I need you.”

“They’re just worried I’m going to be like Laney.”

Laney or Delaney was Derek’s older sister. His parents got divorced because she killed herself. They don’t admit that, but they were happy together when Delaney was alive and then they hated each other after she died. At first, they thought it was because of bullying, but then it turned out she had schizophrenia- which is incredibly rare in teenagers, especially teenage girls… but all her journals and some of her YouTube videos showed all the signs.

“But you’re not… You’re perfectly sane! You go to counseling…”

“Yeah… but I don’t tell that shrink SNIFF…” He confesses.

We both knew that. We were both afraid if he told his shrink all that he experiences, he would get sent away. Now our fear has come true.

I turn to his back… For some reason… I want to do it now. If we have sex, he’ll know that I’ll be waiting for him and we’ll be bound to each other in a closer way than ever before. I rise on my knees and begin to rub his shoulders. He looks up at me and says, “We shouldn’t make love… it will hurt more when I go…”

Like that really old Spidey Movie, I kiss Derek upside down… which is hard… but not bad…

As we break for air and Derek faces me and he asks again, “Are you sure?”

I nod. I’ve never been more sure than now. We continue, not even moving to the couch. I lean down on my back as he leans forward staying on top of me. But as things get intensified between us… I’m scared… I know this is different. I love him and he loves me. I just don’t think I’m ready for this.

Derek breaks up our make out session. He notices the tears streaming down my face. He sits up sighing. I jolt up wiping my eyes.

“It’s okay… It’s not what it seems like… I’m ready for this…” I reassure him. I run my fingers through his long, light brown hair as I go to kiss him again, but he turns his head making my lips land on his cheek.

“No… I think we should wait…”

I put my hand on his thigh, and I mentally prepare to satisfy him the second best way, but he brushes my hand away. He looks at me and stares at me straight in the eye, “I love you, Sav… Let’s just wait until we’re both ready.”

“Really?” I ask to make sure.

Kissing me softly as he rubs my back… “Yeah baby… Waiting for you will be worth it.”

All I can do is hug him. I’m so grateful for him. I don’t deserve him. I know I should have given him this one thing, but I’m glad he wants to wait until I’m ready. Not a lot of guys are like that…

“Promise me we’ll talk as much as we can?” I beg.

He kisses me on the forehead, then he goes back to holding me in a hug, “I promise.”

Thank you for reading “Bussing It” and  tune in next Sunday for another fresh installment!

Pretty soon I’ll be launching #ManuscriptMonday, where I’ll be posting a chapter a week, every Monday, to a book I want to publish. I’ll give you a hint: it’s a little sci-fi-ish… maybe it will be seen as dystopian but I can’t say that for sure. If you enjoy #StorySunday, I think you’ll enjoy Mondays more.


Right now, every Thursday you can experience some #StorySundayThrowbacks. Every Thursday until the stories run out! It’s the 1 year anniversary since I began “+Positively Unexpected”, which is about Tasha living in a future wear getting an abortion is really complicated. Yes, I’m a pro-lifer, but I wanted to address the topic of abortion a little outside the box. Check it out if you’re interested. Part One is already back up!


I’m excited to share my writing journey with you, and if you like what you read or think a friend would enjoy it, I’m asking that you share it, but you don’t have to… it’s up to you.

Much love,


Positively Unexpected – 1

TASHA stood outside, enduring the chilly nip of the late December air, right by the coffee vendor. At any moment, slightly after 7:45 am, Carter would walk out of the WKXB building to grab his third dose of caffeine. He would need the stimulant coffee offers to stay alert through the last haul of the morning show studio-stream. Usually, coffee runs are for production assistants and interns, but Carter likes to take the 10 minute break to get coffee himself. It’s the only 10 minutes during the show he can’t get blamed for messing up if it goes terribly awry.

From 7:44 am to 7:54 am, the IT Department and the Web Design Team are in charge. They run a 10 minute interactive ad that now-viewers engage with to win free product, VIP tours of the studio, and meet-and-greet opportunities with the TV Personalities featured on the morning show.

Sure enough, the front doors slid open and bright-eyed Carter stepped through in his T-shirt and jeans. Mindful of the partial snow stuck on the ground, an unwrapped scarf dangled from his neck. He darted across the salted sidewalk, with his hands kept warm tucked under his armpits.

The long line of customers presented no challenge to him. Carter whisked past everyone to the front. At the window, Ky, had his triple chocolate caramel macchiato already fixed for him in a to-go cup. Through the sip hole, a whip of steam visibly fumed from the cup.

He reached out with his right hand to collect his cup, and when his hand crossed the threshold of the window sill, the chip in his hand got scanned, triggered by a motion sensor, that charged WXKB for the coffee. As he turned to run back inside the sight of Tasha made him halt in place.

Coyly, he smiled, and said, “Hello Tash.”

A gust of relief hit her heart and she finally exhaled the deep breath she seemingly held forever.

“You didn’t have to stand out here to catch my attention. You know you’re welcomed to be my visitor for the morning.”

She may be welcomed to visit him, but not too many people in that building wanted to see her face again after nearly causing the station bankruptcy and nearly costing every employee their job. Okay… bankruptcy probably never would have happened, but the station had to make a lot of cuts after the lawsuit Tasha caused with one controversial story… that couldn’t be proven… and for once the public cared… And apparently the person behind the hard-hitting story cared too. One of those awful cases where the person was guilty as the story spun, but the sources were fake, making the news fake, killing Tasha’s whole career.

“I choose to live… not die… Thank you very much!”

“It’s good to see you. Running in to you at that Thanksgiving game made me pretty grateful later that night…”

Tasha blushed understanding the reference. Then she remembered why she was there. Rubbing the back of her neck, trying to squeeze some of  the tension she held there out, she looked into his grey eyes. A breeze swooshed by making his black wavy bangs dangle in front of his eyes.

“I’m pregnant.”

Quickly, his crooked smiled disappeared in his confused countenance. Without hesitation he took Tasha by the shoulder and led her further away from the line. He looked at the neon green, real-time tattooed watch he had inked on his wrist.

“If I had time I’d go into detail about this, but you must be mistaken. I can’t be the father…”

Tasha wasn’t looking for a father to a baby. She was looking for a co-signer to a procedure.

“I’m terminating the pregnancy. I need you-,”

“I’d like to help, but my medical file clearly has on record I’m sterile. Even if we found a place that took my signature without running a full medical-screening, if the truth ever came out, we’d both get in trouble with the law.”

Nervously, seeing the time, he cringed, “I’d talk longer but you sprung this on me at the worst time. You know my hangouts. When you get this all sorted out, let’s share another great night.”

He sipped a swig of his fancy coffee and then darted back inside.

For a second… Tasha couldn’t believe what Carter just said. She was ready to chase him down and make a big scene, but he was the only guy she’d been with consistently for a while… Well, there were two other options… The fling from the club or her boss… Favorably, she hoped the fling from the club was the culprit impregnator. She couldn’t go through with the abortion if the child belonged to her boss… then everyone would know she was having an affair with her boss and they’ll assume her intent is to advance her career, which it did give her an advantage at work but that wasn’t why she was sleeping with her boss.

However, the guy  from the club was unreachable, even untouchable, and no one at the clinic would believe he was the father… the proof would have to be in the DNA test. Tasha now understood why people took comfort in religion and prayer in time of distress, she could use the peace the concept offered.

She can go to the clinic on her own. As long as she’s truthful that she isn’t sure who the father is, maybe she’ll still be approved to get the abortion.

Tasha headed for the subway when her phone beeped with a social media notification. She got a new follower on Squeak, JKingNow, followed by an instant message from that new follower.

The message read: This is Kingston, do you remember me from last month?

Huh, how convenient… A co-signature maybe possible now and unfortunately doable now. Darn Wayd v. Rowe, for giving fathers equal rights with mothers. If a woman knows who the father of her baby is, and is able to contact him, in order to get an abortion, he must co-sign agreeing to the procedure. If he contests the abortion, they must go to court to determine if the woman holds the rights to her body and the procedure is carried out or if the father’s rights stay intact and the woman has to carry until the fetus can be viable outside the womb.

And of course she remembers Kingston, the whole world new who he was…


Note from the Author:

This #StorySunday was the third series I launched on the blog and definitely pushed boundaries even I was afraid to explore, but somehow I got the idea for this story and I was compelled to tell the tale. Originally, I wrote an outline that demanded a longer-time frame to carry out the story, but in the end, what was posted is what came to be.

I do intend to write the story of how Wayd v. Rowe became a law in this future of Tasha’s and Kingston’s universe. I’m still doing the research. I’m incredibly thrilled to bring it to #StorySunday one day.

Blog Viewer: Brianna, if you’re pro-life, why would you write a story about abortion?

Me: Well, Jesus was pro-heaven and he preached about hell way more  than he preached about heaven. We can argue until we are blue in the face life begins at conception… I decided to keep my breath and write this story to bring a biblical perspective through an out-of-the-box approach.

If you’re curious, come back next Thursday for another Throwback. If you stay strong through the end, I think you’ll really like it! Let’s just say love wins and Jesus the Messiah gets some glory. If you’re not a believer, I still hope you keep reading.

Please, feel free to leave a comment and/or SHARE! Let’s give people something to talk about!

Much love,


Bussing It

Hey there peeps!

It’s been so long since I’ve posted a series on Sundays, huh?

Well, thank you for your patience and support. It means the world to me!

The next journey we’ll take on Sundays is with Savvy Moneymaker. Like Grady, from “Because of Faith”, Savvy is from Tucson, AZ too. Except, she’s in high school barely making it through day to day.

She’s stuck taking care of her little sisters, going to high school along with taking college courses, dealing with a mentally, verbally, and sometimes physically abusive mother, all while having the most reckless boyfriend on the planet! Savvy’s life might be a smidge easier, if she had a car, but she’s stuck taking the bus everywhere!

You DO NOT WANT TO MISS Savvy navigate through life in the Old Pueblo as a poor girl from Midtown.

Blog Viewer: Brianna, will there be a pregnancy plot?

Me: Maybe… Nah! (Cough) Okay!!! Sort of… (SPOILER ALERT) Yes.

Blog Viewer: Will a non believer find Jesus the Messiah?

Me: Most likely… kind of… you’ll see!

Blog Viewer: Any controversial content?

Me: There will be implications of sexual activity, drugs, and language- but don’t worry… I censor it in a creative way! Maybe it loses believability of the story, but for me it’s worth it. I must protect hearts and minds, including my own!

Me First This Time: Are you going to share #StorySunday every new posting? You don’t have to, only if you want to do it.

Blog Viewer #3: … (*crickets*)

Blog Viewer #2: … (*gulp)… maybe…

Blog Viewer #1: Yes, Brianna! I love your stories, and I love supporting your dream to become a pro-creative writer that makes mula!

Naw… you’re really free to share if you want to, but I love to write and this blog is to build an online platform so I can publish books!

Comment below and share your dreams! If you’re a vlogger, fellow blogger, author, actor, musician, politician, lawyer, astronaut, scientist, engineer, health and wellness coach, etc… tell me where to follow you on social or what to buy to support your dream, your passion, and I will bug everyone with it! (Disclaimer: However, if your dream doesn’t line up the Bible in some way- by that I mean you’re a serial killer or something creepy and horrible like that… then I will not promote or endorse that dream on social media or in life! That includes art that leads to killing souls spiritually… Things that lead to life and hope please!!! It can be grim but not dark and dim forever with zero hope…)

I look forward to hearing from you!!! I want to share your stuff and help you pursue your dream!

And get ready for a new project I’ll be posting on Mondays! 👁Look our for that SOON.

Much love💋❤️,



Grady found his brother Alastair on a tour stop about 4 and half hours from Tucson, AZ. Grady was going to tell him Kelsey was pregnant and having a baby girl. But Alastair was a different man than when he left the Old Pueblo. After stopping in San Francisco of all places, every band member became Christians after hearing believers worship on a street corner. In Vegas, Alastair and Peggy got married. Now, at every gig, they share the Gospel of Jesus Christ after their set… The crazy part is that they’re playing bars and people are choosing to follow Jesus too. Grady saw it with his own eyes.

Alastair and the band even have a job opportunity waiting for them in California with a church when the finish the tour. Grady hadn’t seen his brother so happy in such a long time. Not really thinking it through, Grady lied and said he was the father of Kelsey’s baby.

Way back when Kelsey first found out she was pregnant, she thought Grady was the father because Alastair pretended to be an Irish man from Dublin, Ireland named Grady. He brought Kelsey home to Grady’s and Alastair’s house and left in the early morning before Kelsey got up. Alastair asked Grady to let Kelsey down easy and because Kelsey was Grady’s secret high school crush, he allowed Kelsey to think they spent one night together. On the day she told him she was pregnant, he told the truth… but Grady could easily say he lied.


Grady got back to Tucson in the early AM hours after seeing his brother on tour. He said up until Kelsey got up for breakfast. Before she could even start her pot of steel cut oatmeal, he sat at the kitchen table and told he lied. That she never slept with his brother, but indeed slept with him. At first, she laughed thinking he was joking around. But Grady used his acting skills like a pro. He began to cry and spun some story of how he didn’t want to mess things up with Gracie and thought of becoming a dad freaked him out.

Kelsey went off on him, packed up her stuff, and called a taxi and left the house not telling Grady where she went. But he ran into her again, when he went to Gracie’s apartment to break the fake news to her. Gracie smacked Grady in the face and told him they were done.

For three weeks, Grady didn’t talk to either one of them. He stopped helping Vera out with the Children’s Theatre. In acting class, Gracie shunned him socially. So did all her circle of friends.

In the fourth week, Kelsey came by the house one night. She handed him a bill for hospital room fees and doctor fees due before she went into labor. She had no insurance and no extra money in savings. She went to DES to get on welfare but waiting in line was taking forever and if she didn’t leave when she did, she would have been late to class. Since she was on scholarship, she couldn’t afford to mess up academically.

Grady made her dinner and they discussed how they could pay for things. He had an insurance from working at the bar. He told Deus he was becoming a father and he got promoter to manager and a huge pay raise. He could afford to pay all the house bills on his own now and put money into saving.

Jokingly, Grady said it would just be easier to get married and put both her and the baby on his plan since it was enrollment season. Desperately, Kelsey agreed. Then she mentioned after they were married, they could visit her parents and they would probably buy things for the baby.

For a split second, Grady thought about the repercussions of his lies. If Kelsey ever found out, she would NEVER speak to him again. And why was he so compelled to lie like this? Was he lying for his brother or for himself? Then something surprising happened. She kissed him. Afterwards, she confessed while they were living together and he was dating Gracie, she was falling for him. And now that they were having a baby together, she wanted to try and to make it work. She admitted rushing into marriage was foolish, but she witnessed how he and Gracie never fought over religion and if Grady agreed to raise the child Christian, she could handle being married to him. If they couldn’t make it work than that was fine, but she needed to try.

A week later they got married at city hall, just the two of them with a court clerk as a witness.

They cleared out Alastair’s room and turned it into a nursery fit for a princess.

At Easter, they attended Kelsey’s parents house for lunch. Kelsey’s parents acted like they never kicked her out and they kindly welcomed Grady into their home. He was afraid to tell them he wasn’t Christian based on some stories Kelsey told Grady about her parents. They didn’t leave until the late evening and the wrote the newly wed couple a check for 10K before they left, with stipulation 5k would go into a savings account for the baby.

Life was good until Kelsey woke up in pain in the middle of night mid April and she was experiencing some bleeding. By the time they got to the hospital and they were seen, the baby had no heartbeat and was not moving. The doctors weren’t quite sure what happened. The doctors said they would know more when they could do an autopsy. The 3D ultrasounds and other tests gave inclusive results. Due to the emotional trauma, the doctors sent Kelsey and Grady home for a few days and she would come back for a late term abortion.

To make matters more strenuous, Alastair came home unexpectedly, the day procedure was scheduled.


“What you doing here? You can’t just barge in?” I snap in a loud whisper. Kelsey had slept in the bedroom alone, and I slept on the couch alone. It was hard to be around her. All she did was sleep, cry, pray, sing, and repeat. She hardly ate anything. And since I wasn’t able to offer words of comfort, I thought it was best to stay away.

“Relax man, I have a key.”

“Where’s Peggy? Why are you here? I thought I was sending everything to you.”

“Turns out it’s cheaper for me to pick everything up for us and haul it back. I already got her things in the truck. I came for my stuff. Is everything okay?”

I didn’t know how to tell my brother his baby was dead. I didn’t want to lie to him right now. Crying uncontrollably, he folds me in his arms. Then he leads me to back down on the couch where I proceed to tell him what I did.

As a Christian now, I expect him to condemn me. To remind me of how awful I am.

Lovingly, gripping me by the shoulders he asks, “Is Kelsey up, I’d like to pray with her?”

That’s shocking. I thought for sure he was going to be judgmental and remind how wrong it is to be a liar. I’m not sure if she is up.

“Let’s go see if she’s up together.” Alastair says pulling me up from the couch. He nudges me to go before him.

When we enter my bedroom, which is much different now. Kelsey put plenty of a woman’s touch all over the room, getting rid of most of my things. It’s looks like grown, boring people dwell in this room like an old, dull married couple. Kelsey wasn’t in bed. She walks out from our closet, fully dressed and with a smile on her face.

Excitedly, she rushes over to me. “You’re never going to believe this.”

She takes my hand and rests it on her pultruding belly and instantly a rapid thump from inside bumps my hand. “She’s alive!” Kelsey rejoices.

I don’t understand. I was there. From when Kelsey bled out in bed at home, to hearing the silence of no heartbeat from ultrasound at the hospital. How is this possible.

“God gave her back to us!” She hugs me by my neck and pulls me as close to her as she possibly could.

“This is incredible! Hallelujah God, You’re amazing Lord!” Alastair gives praises to God to.

At the hospital we see the same doctor and he doesn’t understand. The run a whole bunch of tests Kelsey appears to be a lab rat. The same doctor who told us the baby was dead, stands before us with an expert team of second, third, fourth, and fifth opinions and says the baby is alive and healthy. One doctor says, “It’s a miracle.”

I can’t process this? Like this kind of thing supposedly happened in the Bible if the accounts in are true. A life resurrecting from the dead… like Lazarus or the Jairus’ Daughter like Alastair explained to me in the car ride home.

Kelsey has strict instructions to take it easy, but as soon as we enter the house she starts cleaning. Then when she’s done she’s cooking and while she talks to her mother on the phone. Alastair goes through the shed in the backyard to pull out his things and I help him load the truck.

I keep waiting for him to say we need to tell Kelsey the truth. I keep waiting for him to give me an ultimatum that either I tell her before he lives or he does or something like that, but he’s talking about their music project and the album the band is about to record. Maybe I was delusional early this morning and I didn’t confess the truth to him.

Finally, I can’t take it. I drop a box of his box in the rocky dirt to get his attention.

“You okay Grady?”

“You’re okay with me living a lie? You want to dip out on your responsibilities and leave me here to raise your kid?!” I holler not caring if Kelsey overhears because I’m so blinded by an unquenchable rage within me. “You hypocrite! You say your changed but you’re not!!!”

Alastair gently sets the box he has down and walks up to me, keeping a calm composure.

“How would you like to break the news to her? And what is your goal? Do you want to divorce her? Do you want to stay married? Do you want to raise the child or do you want me to?”

“Well, don’t you want to raise your kid?!” I snap.

“Grady,” Kelsey says. I look over to the sliding doors connected to the kitchen. Well, my subconscious desire to get caught in this lie got fulfilled. “Why would you lie to me… again…?”

Of all the things I could say to excuse my actions… none make me feel validated. I just shrug my shoulders.

“Who is the Father of my baby biologically?”

“Alastair,” I say as my brother says, “I don’t know.”

We both look at him like he’s crazy, but we let him explain.

“I remember pretending to be Grady and taking you back to our house. But I have a rule, I don’t sleep with girls who are drunk out of their mind. I knew Grady liked you back in school, another reason why I would never touch you. The minute you laid down in my bed, you were asleep. So yeah, Grady lied to you, but you’ve been lying to him if you claim that night was the night you conceived.”

Wow! My brother is the least hypocritical of us all! Kelsey is the big fat liar.

“Okay!” Kelsey screams turning away from us. Crossing her arms as she turns back, she explains why she lied, “I hooked up with Felix later that week trying to get back together… A month later when I found out I was pregnant, I told him because I knew we didn’t use protection. He said I was a lying whore and even if he was the father he wanted nothing to do with the kid. He said since I was practically homeless, I should just abort the kid…” She breaks out into tears, “Part of me thought, I prayed to see this Grady guy again, and if he was willing to help me raise this baby that it had to be his…” Looking straight at me, “So when you told me Alastair really brought me home, I freaked out… Because I didn’t want you to ask for a paternity test… because deep down… I knew you or Alastair wasn’t the father…”

Tilting her head back, gazing at the sky as if she’s looking onto God, “Are you happy now?! You did your part so I’m doing my part…” She looks back over to me, “All prayed why she was dead in my womb was ‘God if you give me back my baby, I’ll confess the truth. I’ll go tell Grady. I’ll go tell Felix. God please… give me back my baby…'” She sniffles and wipes her nose with her hands. She goes on to say, “My mom says God would never answer a prayer like that… so I added this based on a conversation we had last week Grady. You said the reason why you don’t believe God is real because nothing happens today like the way it did in the Bible, except for maybe Christians being hypocrites like Pharisees and Sadducees. So I said God, bring my daughter back as a miracle if Grady’s heart may perceive You to be God through such a miracle.”

I have the urge to refute everything, but I can’t stop thinking how if science didn’t bring the baby back to life, then only something, someone like God could do that. But she lied, and I lied, and everything is so twisted! This sounds like made up story posted on some random blog on the internet. Yet this was happening to me.

I think. God, if You’re real, speak to me now.

Grady. I hear from behind. I hurriedly look over my shoulder knowing no one is there. Grady. I hear again beside me. I look to my left, where no one stands knowing no one is there to see the neighbors fence. “Grady.” I hear my brother say.

“That’s Him calling you. It happened to me a few weeks ago. Weird, isn’t it?”

“I just need to go for a drive.” I rush past Kelsey to get my keys that I left on the kitchen counter.

Kelsey says, “You shouldn’t drive when you’re emotional. And we need to sit down and talk.”

“You want me to sit down, hear the Gospel for the gazillionth time, and accept Jesus into my heart because you prayed some prayer and it came to pass! You’re liar, how do I know you’re not making up what you prayed?!”

After I grab my keys, I make sure I slam the front door shut so she knows how pissed off I am.

The moment I get in the car and slam that door shut I hear, “Grady,” as clear as another person in the car. I look around knowing I won’t find anyone.


I AM. I hear deep somewhere within my core. As I begin to weep I see a flash. I see my mother, a young version of her. She wears a white robe in a meadow I can only describe as heavenly. The light is so pure and everything feels so peaceful. Suddenly, she seems right in front of me and I hear her say, “I’m here with Christ. The only way you can join me is with Him. Join me Grady.”

My door open up and my brother reaches in to pull me out yelling for me not to drive off. He takes the keys from me and flings them away. He holds me on the ground as I helplessly ball my eyes out. He says he saw me getting in a car accident if I drove off. For some odd reason, I believe him. I tell him I saw mom. I tell she wants me to join her.

I don’t even realize I prayed the sinners prayer until me and my brother say in unison, “Amen.”

I feel different. Like how I used to feel around Gracie. How warm her hugs were, except that warm peace comes from within me. I feel different. Like I’m clean and for once I have peace of mind. A calmness that is true dwells inside of me. I am saved.


On May 25th, Faith Bridgette Timmins was born a healthy 7 lbs. and 7 oz. at 7:00 pm. It took some time, but Kelsey and Grady worked things out. They decided to stay married. Felix learned the truth about his daughter and still wanted nothing to do with Faith. He signed away his rights and on June 1st, Grady legal adopted Faith.

Sure there were a lot of transgressions. Sure, the two biggest Christian witnesses in Grady’s life up to his salvation were not living right, but God still used them to shine light in his life. And mainly because of a baby girl named Faith, being resurrected to life in the womb, Grady Timmins saw the miraculous power of God and believed in Jesus Christ the Son, and finally found His way to the Father.


Yes, THIS STORY HAD AN OUTRAGEOUS TURN OF EVENTS… but it is way different than the original plot. Grady was more of a monster with little conviction at all. Kelsey was more innocent. Alastair wasn’t so holy so quickly.

There may be a lot of elements in this story that seem like it would never happen in real life, but I took several testimonies I heard about when people encountered God, placed the same incident to a different setting and we got what we read in the story!

Today is the three year anniversary of when I found out my best friend almost died in a tragic accident. I didn’t find out until the evening that she was in life-threatening condition, but earlier that day the Lord led me to pray for her and to pray that she is covered by the Blood of Christ. I did it without hesitation. When I heard days later how she survived that accident, it was the hand of God upon her life.

Unfortunately, after all that she is still not back in the Body of Christ, but I based the vision Grady had of his mom in heaven from a vision I had of me and my best friend about 4 years ago. I believe she will come back to God and be set free all that binds her now.

If you read this story and are a fellow saint, join me in prayer for all the prodigals that may return to our Lord and our Savior today and this year! If you have any unsaved love ones I come into agreement with you that they shall be saved in Jesus’ name! AMEN!

If you don’t believe in God but your ready to find out if He is real. Pray this prayer:

God of the universe, if You’re real, please prepare my heart and Holy Spirit convict and convince me that Jesus the Messiah is the Way, the TRUTH, and the LIFE. I choose this day for You to reveal Yourself to me so that I may know the truth. Amen.

Amen mean so be it, or it is true or so let it be true… When we say Amen at the end of a prayer we’re confessing what we ask for will be done and have confidence God will do it. I always tell people to be careful what they pray for because God will answer it!

If you read this story and you’re convinced God is real because you have heard the Gospel several times before. Then all you have to do is repent. Re-acknowledge Jesus died for you on the cross, that His blood redeemed you, and now you are alive with Him to have relationship with God and live a purposeful life! Say, “Amen”. Find a church that teaches the Bible. Start serving when that church lets you. Find a mentor. Find a mentee. Read your Bible, pray, give, and learn to fast. And spend everyday in step with God! He walks with you. He talks with you. God loves you!



Grady and Gracie have been dating successfully for a while. Their secret? No religious or philosophical discussions. She goes to church on her own and he never asks her how it was.

One night they went to the theatre to watch a production of the “Taming of the Shrew” and they saw Kelsey Cadence in an unpredictable role– a janitor at the Renegade Theatre.

And Grady did something he thought he wouldn’t really have to do. He invited Kelsey to come move in with him until his brother returns from his band’s tour.


Gracie and Kelsey attended the same church. Together, both decided to join the women’s Bible Study Group on Thursday evenings and they’ve both been growing in their faith.

Kelsey just passed the 22 week mark, well into the second trimester. She was having a girl and wanted to name her Faith or Hope. She wrestled between the two names that were the most encouraging words to her in the English language.

Grady managed to track his brother’s band down through social media. Fintan’s Flood was playing at a dive bar about 4 and half hours away from Tucson and he planned on going to see his brother to tell him fatherhood was coming Alastair’s way.


As the sunsets I drive into a small town fit for lumberjacks. Hills of pine trees decorated with log cabins and small business with the occasional big gain business to shop at or eat from.

I pull into the parking lot of the Fox Hole, off the main road, which doubles as the highway. I see Dougie’s blue, beat-up minivan with the trunk door hanging high open.

Alastair comes out from the back of the bar and he looks different. He shaved his beard off and his hair is kept neat. His clothes look clean and he looks happy. A glare from his left hand catches my attention and I notice he’s wearing a gold band.

There are 3 places my brother will wear a ring. His thumb, his middle finger, and his nose– but for a man who doesn’t believe in marriage never on the ring finger would he ever where a ring.

Peggy comes out from the bar behind him and she looks well kept too. Jeans without holes, a red and black plaid short-sleeve turtleneck. I try to look at her left hand, but her back faces me and it makes it hard to tell.

I was going to wait until after the concert, but my curiosity is so insatiable within me. I conclude my brother is married and I want to find out if it is true.

Slamming my car door as I get out, both my brother’s and Peggy’s attention.

Brightly, my brother smiles and holds out his arms.

“Grady!” He exclaims, hugging me closely.

When I don’t hug back, he takes me by the shoulders and explains why he hasn’t been in touch.

“I lost my phone and I couldn’t remember your number. And you don’t have any social media accounts, so… I thought about writing you, but never being in the same spot twice, I figured why write? You’ve been getting the deposits in your account, right?”

“You couldn’t remember my cell number but you remembered my bank account number?”

“I wrote that down, man.” Alastair chortles.

“Yeah, I’ve been getting the money.”

Alastair pulls out his new phone from his back pocket and asks for my number. As I give him my number I think about how to break the shocking news to him.

Once he has my number, he takes Peg’s hand and clears his throat. Peggy rests her head in his shoulder and smiles giddily. “You should also know, Peggy and I got married.”

That was pretty obvious from hundreds of feet away. I’m not sure how to respond to that…

Granted, I would get married without telling Alastair, we’re not that close, but he got back together with Peggy for his band– not because he loved her?!

“There more to everything but we have to keep setting up for the show. Would you mind helping us?” Alastair dares to ask me.


The bar packed to the brim with fan and yet-to-be fans of Fintan’s Flood. I stood at the bar, feeling out of place not being the bartender.

One song confused me as I listen to my brother sing lyrics to a new tune. The words of the indie alternative rock unsettle me.

“I was dead until you found me/I was numb on the inside/Then Your Love pursued me/I came alive within my soul//Let my life read like a letter/A letter of Your Love/Let my life read like a letter/A letter of Your love/ Your love that saved me”

As the musical interlude is lead by Douggie on electric guitar, I remember worship songs I’ve heard Gracie play in her apartment. Sometimes, when I go to pick her up, if the door is unlocked I walk right in and some song about God’s love plays. Sure, maybe my brother is being mushy and the song is about Peggy’s love, but I seriously doubt it. I can picture Gracie saying right now that she can sense my brother is different.

She wouldn’t need to say it if she were here. Everything about him screams SUPER DIFFERENT!

My original brother is so Anti-Christ, Kelsey would have never talked to him. I’m talking about a man who joined the Satanic Church to get laid. And how is my brother going to manage marriage? He is such a free love, anyone, any time man harlot. And drugs… he loves pot, shrooms, acid… he’ll try anything and do anything but meth, crack, and heroine. Maybe he had to change his image for the band, but I’m just losing my mind. He couldn’t be “saved”…

At the end of the show, he says, “Thanks for coming out tonight. For those of you who don’t know, me and the entire band got radically converted when we were in San Francisco. We started this tour and I did not believe in God at all. I was raised by fine atheist but even on her death bed, she reconciled with God, and I remember her holding my hand right before she went to her eternal home, and she said ‘Forgive me’. I had no idea what she met by that and I was angry thinking that if there was a God He wouldn’t have allowed her to die like that… Bottom line, we don’t want to impose anything on you, but if you want to hear our testimony and hear the true Gospel of Christ Jesus, we’ll be at the bar enjoying club soda, ginger ale, and water. Please join us if you want to prove to us God isn’t real. We love you all.”

I sat the furthest away as I watch my brother share his testimony to a group of ten or so strangers.

The band was in SoMa in San Francisco. They just got done playing at a bar. They just packed up the van when they heard worship music from a street corner, the song was about the love of God. Next thing Alastair new, he and the band were amongst a spectating crowd. Many onlookers mocked them and spit on them. Some people were actually putting curses on the band.

Alastair thought back to the day his mother died. How she asked him to call a preacher named Maynard Strikes. They didn’t speak long and he prayed with her. The pastor came out and said she made her peace and will be with God. Then he left. He said I showed up just as mom asked for his forgiveness.

“I started singing what they sung and I began to feel something happening inside of me.”

Alastair and his band joined that worship band at a 24 hr waffle watery and the worship band gave them a crash course on the Gospel 101. Alastair and the rest of Fintan’s Flood made the decision to follow Jesus and have never been the same ever since.

Peggy takes over and shares the gospel. All within ear shot are engaged, intrigued about God, but mainly how passionately she spoke about God. I can’t stand to look her in the eye. I feel like something stronger than her soul is peering into mine.

I do wonder, like from time to time, is God REAL. And if He is, why was He so stupid to make us? He gave us an awesome planet and we’re about to torch it all to hell and none of us really care about each other.

I love Gracie for me. She brings me peace. She makes me happy. She makes up for the missing things in me and makes me complete and because I cannot afford to lose her, I put up with the religion.

Gracie wasn’t always pure and perfect. I know in time we’ll be intimate in bed. I may have to cough up a promise ring to get her to bed but I won’t have to get engaged or marry her right away. And because of the happiness that woman brings me, I would marry her, just so I could return something in gratitude for all the goodness she is for me.

When Peggy’s asks who wants to accept Christ tonight, everyone’s hand goes up but mine.

This is ridiculous. I came up all the way here to witness a freak-show!

Douggie hands out Bibles to everyone who just accepted Christ and gives them a list of nearby churches they can check out.

Even Douggie was different with his beard finely trimmed and no eye liner. He still dressed like a pink rocker though and kept the hot pink in the tip of his faux hawk.

Alastair comes up to me and asks, “What do you think about what she said man?”

“I think it’s a load of crap. Let me guess, you could only find a Christian Label to sign you?”

Alastair pats me on the back, “It’s good to see you brother.”

I just want to blurt it out right there that he’s about to become a father, but he says they got a deal to record music with some mega church in Cali, and they’ll serve on staff for a bit to cover the recording costs. It’s because of the worship band that led them to Christ… It’s the mega church they come from.

“So when the tour wraps, we’ll be moving to Cali. Do you think if I deposit the money in your account, you could ship out my things? We’ll be closer to Cali when we wrap than AZ.”


If God was real and my brother was really connected to Him, wouldn’t God give Alastair some urgency to come back to Tucson, for his kid?

“Tell me why here bro? If you wanted to say hello you would have hacked our social accounts and said so. Is everything okay?”

“No…” I sigh. “I going to be a-a Dad.”


“You have a girlfriend?”

“Um, she’s not my girlfriend. One night stand but she is living at the house… I came to ask if I could turn your room into the nursery, so can I?”

In total shock, he says, “Yeah. No problem. I’m going to be an uncle?”

I laugh and he joins me. Odd how we laugh for two different reasons.

“I’m having a girl. Might name after mom.”

“Wow… Do I know the mom?”

“Do you remember Kelsey Cadence from High School?”

“Kelsey who?”

“I might marry her. Living together is going well.”

“Well, make sure you’re in love before you decide to spend a lifetime with her.”

We stand in silence. I wait for “revelation” to drop on him to uncover my lies, but nothing does.

A fan that just got converted asks to speak with him. Alastair tells me to hold on, but I take this time to take my exit. I decide to drive straight home, because now, I have to make Kelsey fall in love with me.

Driving I realize I’m being a lunatic. I can’t break up with the woman I love, marry a stranger, and raise my brother’s kid just so he can live his dream. I mean, this is mainly why I’m doing it. With how different my brother is now, religion will make him give up music to settle down and become a family man. Well, I couldn’t be certain, but he is my brother. I was the one with the heart and religion makes men softies, he probably had double the size of my heart now. California would be in his dreams. I need to ensure it is a reality. This will be best for everybody. In the long run, I just have to trust my gut, even if religion says it’s faulty.


At the current pace of the story, we’ll have a novel several months from now. Originally, this concept was meant to be a book, but for the purposes of this blog, it is now a series. Here on out how this story is told will SHIFT. Lots RECAPS, and some FASTFORWARDS to essential moments.


Grady and Gracie are officially DATING! Wait, is that a good thing? Grady is an atheist and Gracie is a re-dedicated Christian. Will their feelings for each other be enough to build a relationship that can last?

Kelsey lives in a scuzzy motel room invested with roaches. Grady gentlemanly offered his house for her to stay since she was pregnant with his brother’s baby, so she says… But she rejected his generosity not wanting to be a charity case?!


School, work, and dating went well for Grady. Every free moment he had he spent with Gracie at her apartment or his house or going out to theatre, to movies, to restaurants, and to random places. For the first time, in very a long time, Grady was happy.

Abstaining from sex was rough though. There was nothing he wanted more than to be as close as two people could be and kissing passionately was not enough. And flying solo on his nights alone wasn’t satisfying either.

Two months passed and Grady hadn’t heard from his brother, so therefore, he hadn’t spoken to Kelsey.

All three of them, were going to help Vera out with the Children’s Theatre but Kelsey backed out. However, Grady and Gracie have been Vera’s assistances and love it!

Section 8 will start off with Grady and Gracie celebrating their two-month-anniversary at the Renegade. A Black Box Theatre located downtown in an old warehouse. They watched the Renegade’s production of “Taming of the Shrew”. They see Kelsey in a surprising role at the theatre.


“That was SO GOOD! The next time they hold open auditions, I’m coming. I need to work with this director.” Gracie says, taking my hand and inter-locking her fingers with mine as we make our to the lobby.

“Want to go grab desert? I kinda want a milkshake.” I say.

Ignoring my question, she pats me in the gut with her program and asks, “Is that Kelsey?”

I look across the lobby and see who I think is Kelsey too come out of ladies restroom with a plunger.

Before I mumble, “Yes,” Gracie already left my side and rushes over to her.

I stand back and watch Kelsey resist talking to Gracie. Blurting out loud enough to get everyone to stare, Kelsey says, “Just leave me alone!” Then she storms off down the hallway.

By the time I reach Gracie, Kelsey vanished.

“She works here on the janitorial staff… I tried to ask if she found a better place to stay and she just told me to back off.”

“Yeah, the whole room noticed.”

“We should wait around until she’s free and see if she needs anything. Ask if she’s seen a doctor yet… you know?”


“Gray,” Gracie stares at me trying to provoke the good side of my humanity.

“If she wanted our help, she would have taken. She clearly wants to deal with this on her own. Who knows if she’s still even pregnant?!”

I rest my hands on Gracie’s shoulders and pinch them gently, trying to prevent her from tensing up. One thing I’ve learned about her is that she would tear off her left limb for people, if it meant helping them in the darkest hour of need.

“I just can’t stand by and do nothing Gray. She’s practically family now.”

“No she isn’t… not until my brother’s name is on the birth certificate and he signs it. And even then, she wouldn’t be family… the baby would be.”

Titling her head back against my torso, she looks up at me. “You need to find your brother and tell him. Once we get him to talk to her, then she may let us help her out.”

She turns around and folds me in her arms. Her warms hugs have the power to bend my will to hers. “Okay,” I cave as I rub her back. I’ll make a serious effort to hunt my brother and his band down.

As we head for the door, Kelsey comes back to us, appearing out of nowhere. We wait for her to speak first.

“Actually, can I take you up on that offer to stay at your house, Grady?” Kelsey says.