Storyteller via writer, actor, filmmaker, and artist.

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I change my mind a lot. When it comes to creativity, I can be a little fickle.

I announced- not too long ago- of the new story series I was launching on the blog… “Grace Trials”… well, I’m not anymore!

Big surprise there?! Okay, I should turn the vain glory down a notch, right?

I was looking through some of my notes from my devotional time with God… Based on what God has laid on my heart, working on “Grace Trials” to fit the platform of my personal blog, is not my primary focus as of now.

As the Prophet Samuel said… obedience is greater than sacrifice…

“Delayed Obedience” and “Disobedience” both start with “D” and they are serious downgrades as to what is God’s best for life.

I’m on a “Faith Grow” journey right now… And I’m not saying I’m collecting more faith or getting more, but I’m growing the faith I already have…

You know, it’s like a seed. A seed to a tree will become that tree, if all the conditions are right. If the seed is planted in good soil, deep down but not too deep, if the seed gets sufficient watering, and if the seed germinates and sprouts roots and builds a strong extensive root system, and then breaks through to the surface, and gets sun, well… need I go on with this massive run-on sentence- the SEED GROWS into A TREE!

I’m convinced that our faith is like a tree. All we need to start is faith the size of a muster seed, and when we apply the Word of God, and heed to God’s voice, and build a healthy life balancing the spiritual and the practical aspects of our lives, our seedling of faith grows into a huge beautiful tree.

Now the question is… is our faith to be like a tree or are we the tree?

If true faith is believing and believing is taking action, and who we are is reflected in what we do, and if what we think determines who we are… then we most definitely are trees… right?

My point is simply this… I want to be like the tree described in Psalm 1.

[The Way of the Righteous and the Wicked

1 Blessed is the man

who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

nor stands in the way of sinners,

nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

2  but his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

3  He is like a tree

planted by streams of water

that yields its fruit in its season,

and its leaf does not wither.

In all that he does, he prospers.

4  The wicked are not so,

but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

5  Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;

6  for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,

but the way of the wicked will perish. (ESV)]

The key to being that tree is not following the ways of the wicked (I take that wicked as “worldly ways”). Another key is being in the word of God day and night. Not just reading it, but living it.

These two keys sound simplistic and essentially are simple.

I could go on about this concept of being like a tree, but that is a lot to unpack.

I’ll wrap this post by adding, it is impossible to mature into the measure of faith Christ gave to us through His life, death, and resurrection without following His living word. Jesus is the one who was, and who is, and who is to come. The Bible displays various believers, at different stages in their faith, but they all had the same goal, to follow after God while living in a world driven by selfish, corrupt people. No one can be forced into believing in God, that concept violates free will, but anyone can witness the power and glory of the Living God, and that only gets done IF:

  1. We are sustained by a never ending source (streams of water).
  2. We are productive and nurturing others from what we produce in our lives (yield its fruit in its season).
  3.  We are strong in times of change (its leaf does not wither).
  4. We excel in excellence and even when we do things we’re not good at, we are massively successful (in all that he does, he prospers).

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for a “Faith Grow”!

Friendly reminder, check out my New Adult, Romance, Chapter-by-Chapter-In-The-Making-Novel on LITNET. Here’s the link: https://litnet.com/en/reader/a-digital-age-courtship-b106691?c=928921

A Digital Age Courtship

Much love,

Bri

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In 2 Samuel, Chapter 11, records the account of King David’s affair. I read this chapter this morning, after I started to pose a question on Facebook…

“Why do we put our sins on display and say we’re only human, and use our faulty humanity as an excuse to treat others in a worldly fashion and not a kingdom fashion?”

My point was to point out I think we use our everyday, cyclical sin struggles to brand ourselves as “wretched sinners saved by grace”.

King David was my example. I was lying in bed, in my comfy pjs, holding my cellphone above my head, as my thumbs typed what I considered to be the next profound word for any believer about to catch my post on their news feed today!

I thought about how hardly anyone knew what David did, for the handful that did, most of them could only speculate about the mess David made. And somehow I rabbit trailed into talking about the sin of gossip, and then admitted a lot of what I gleaning came from a sermon I heard Sunday about revering God.

I got zinged in the heart. Like, you know when the Holy Spirit is unveiling what once was a mystery to you, because you didn’t understand, and now this information becomes revelation and it is like you can see this beautiful piece of artwork now? That was happening as I lied in bed, thumb-typing a great Facebook post, but I stopped when I nearly finished.

Was I right about a handful of people knowing about David’s affair with Bathsheba?

That of course, led me to go into Bible College Student mode. I looked up the scripture. I picked it apart making sure I took from the text and I didn’t spin my own opinion based on my assumptions from the text.

I read past chapter 11, I read 12 and 13. I want to make sure I covered all of it.

Three things that stuck out to me where this:

  1. God was displeased with David (but God didn’t go looking for another king).
  2. David cried out for mercy, but when he didn’t get what he wanted from God, he moved forward and continued to live his life.
  3. God took the first son David had with Bathsheba, but when David and Bathsheba had Solomon, God told the prophet Nathan that He loved Solomon and wanted the baby boy to be named Jedidiah.

When I read that God was displeased with David, but I think about how still credits David as a man after His own heart…

I got teary-eyed. I realized that the worst thing that I’ve ever done, in my own eyes, God may not have liked when I did that, but I didn’t lose my place in God’s heart.

What do I mean by the latter phrase?

If David were the President today, and TMZ broke the story about everything President David did… the church would be quick to JUDGE David with a CRITICAL SPIRIT. We would QUESTION his SALVATION, and the POSTURE of HIS HEART. We would never look at President David the same way again. We wouldn’t trust him like we had prior to hearing about the scandal. Come time for re-election, if there was a slightly better candidate, we would vote for someone else, because our displeasure of President David would become disapproval.

We know God didn’t like David’s actions in that moment, but we know God didn’t disapprove of David… David has so much unmerited favor it is evident why Saul wanted to kill him! LOL!

Of course, my Bible-Checking turned into a deep devotional time with the LORD. One moment I was reading a page from “The Happy Intercessor” by Beni Johnson. The next moment I was reading a few pages in “God Where Are You?” by John Bevere. (Two books I highly recommend for reading to grow in spiritual maturity.) The point came where I sat in awe of how God works, of how He loves, and how wonderfully, amazing He is…

My mind was blown, of how everything He took me to, from the Bible, to the books, to articles and resources on the internet– were not only connected to things He’s been talking to me about for the past 9 months, but the pages of the books He led me to glance at, brought up scriptures used in the sermon I heard Sunday night. (I’ve had these books for a while but I hadn’t finished reading them. The pages that I read in amazement of their relation to the sermon I heard, I had never read before today.)

It is after I have devotional times like these… I am confident God is able to anything, all I have to do is trust Him and follow His lead.

Now, if you’re anything like me… you’re wondering, what does this whole post have to do with False Humility?

Grace is a free gift (Ephesians 2). Every spiritual blessing God desired for us to have is already given to us (Ephesians 2). Paul said we were sinners saved by grace and we are now the righteousness of Christ Jesus (Romans 5). We are saved by grace and where sin abounds grace covers a multitude of sins (Paul said that). Our sins are removed as far as the east is from the west (the Psalms). Our sins are tossed into the sea of forgiveness (Malachi).

I’m not condoning “greasy grace” is okay. Where you can do all these worldly, fleshly things, and still be saved and die and go to eternity with God. John pointed out that false preaching in his first letter.

But if you believe the lie, that you’re a wretched sinner, that you are prone to making mistakes, and you will never get this Christian walk figured out. That is inviting the enemy to tempt you with your vices, and because you’re not renewed in your mind (thinking/beliefs), you will never get free or take forever to get free.

In the Psalms, it appeared David said some arrogant things, “My enemies are Your enemies God… My glory is the glory of the LORD…” Wait… was it that arrogant or was he just speaking as a child of God?

Yes, David had some down moments… Like he wondered why he was even born. He acknowledged he needed his heart to be cleaned out and purified… but frequently, he went to God, sang about his woes, and moved on…

Do you know what I love about David’s adultery scandal or really rather what I love that came out of it? David got rebuked for his actions, he owned up to his mistakes and corrected what he could, and he moved forward in his life not committing adultery again. He stuck to the wives and the concubines he already had…

Skimming over the more than one wife thing… David got delivered and stayed delivered! He lived out his life blemish free from the stain of adultery on his life. (Well actually, he got cursed by God and his house was subject to that curse until he died, but David didn’t complain about that curse or use the curse as an excuse to sin again.)

I think we live in a state of false humility when we are quick to say “I’m a sinner saved by grace”. I think it lets us settle for getting by, instead of crucifying our flesh daily, and actually having to pour ourselves out at the feet of Jesus every day, so we can be who He called us to be in the earth.

Yes, God still wants us to be us. But He wants us to be the version of ourselves that thinks, speaks, and acts like Jesus would in any given situation. Paul told us in Ephesians to put on our new nature, and be done with our old nature which was a sinner, a gossiper, sexually immoral, a liar, wicked, unrighteous, etc…

The world sees the church as a bunch of bigots because people who are hateful, mean-spirited, fearful people used scripture to attack the sinners who don’t care or claim to know God. Jesus and other Biblical writers make it clear, when you belong to the Father, the world sees the Father in your words, in your actions, and at work in your life. The world will either be against you or join the Kingdom of God because of you operating in your new nature.

The new nature is just a down payment of the glorified beings we’ll be one day, and we will spend our whole lives becoming more like Jesus…

C.S. Lewis said, “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.”

And if the church is so focused on what sinners we are and that we’re nothing and our sins are like dirty, used tampons to God (that is the modern equivalent of that filthy rags scripture in Isaiah)… then how can the light in us shine to bring others into God’s marvelous light? If we’re thinking on dark things, talking about dark things, and then doing dark things but saying we’re working on getting better… Where’s the selflessness?

How prideful for the church to have such self-pity? Frankly, it is down right immature.

How insulting is it to God that we declare the flaws of our sin-natured humanity is stronger in us than His transforming, life-giving, powerful grace in us restoring us to the spirit-driven-in-a-flesh-shell humanity He created us to be?

I’m going to close with this:

I can sing. Thanks to Valor Christian College, I can sing well. I used to fear being prideful, so when someone complimented my singing voice, I said, “To God be the glory, He gave it to me.” That is true. Not going to deny it and I’m not really afraid to confess it. Paul said in 1 Corinthians not to boast about what the Lord has done. When we point all the glory to God, after something we’ve done or we do for Him, and we do so to deflect our feelings of self-consciousness, or we need to validate we did a God-thing, we are acting out of our insecurities or shame, which is prideful.

Now, I just say thank you when I get a compliment. I love the compliments, but I don’t need them to affirm I can sing well. I don’t have to say God gave me the voice, because it goes without saying God created humanity, hence He created me, and I only sing worship music anyhow, so when I sing, all sorts of glory is going to Him.

In the following scripture Paul explains the humility Christ Jesus had, and encouraged believers to take on the humility of Christ. By looking to Christ Jesus as our example, trusting the words of edification to believers in the past, we can halt false humility and be transparent vessels to bear the witness of Christ Jesus in the earth. Not just by our words, but simply by the lives we live. Give your soul/mind a reset and renew it with the WORD of GOD.

Philippians 2 New Living Translation (NLT)

Have the Attitude of Christ

2 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

6 Though he was God,[a]
    he did not think of equality with God
    as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges[b];
    he took the humble position of a slave[c]
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,[d]
8     he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
    and gave him the name above all other names,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

Shine Brightly for Christ

12 Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. 13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

14 Do everything without complaining and arguing, 15 so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. 16 Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. 17 But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God,[e] just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. 18 Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.

(BibleGateway.com)

Thank you for reading.

Much love,

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Check out my safe-to-read-romance-novel-in-the-making on LitNet! (Click link below)

https://litnet.com/en/reader/a-digital-age-courtship-b106691?c=928921

A Digital Age Courtship

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Below, you will see the graphic for the blog’s next featured story:

Grace Trials

THE STORY

If you saw the post about Manuscript Monday, going into extensive detail about why I chose the story I selected, I mentioned a story I wrote called, “Girls of Grace”.

“Grace Trials” is “Girls of Grace” rebranded, revamped, an under-new-construction rewrite. I guess, this will be my revision quest and I’m inviting all of you along for the ride.

In the original “Girls of Grace”, it was about three girls who became friends through church. In all honesty, this story is slightly based on real life, but in totality it really isn’t.

Like, the main character is a little like me. One of her friends is a little like one of my strong-willed friends that battles depression. The main character’s other friend is this super-family-oriented-person who has OCD. All three of them go to a tiny, baptist church where everybody knows everybody.  Me and my two friends, all went to a tiny, baptist church where the three of us formed a friendship. Beyond that, that is as real as the story gets. Okay, most of the story takes place in the city where we all live…

But the main plot points, the scenarios that unfold, and events that take place… never happened to me or my friends in real life… to my knowledge.

This revamp, however, will be wildly different. I started the project in 2012. Seven years later, with the characters well developed and a plot with lots of options, the content will be richer.

SYNOPSIS

Lauren Rae Tyler – 18, Melissa Grace Russell – 21, and Makayla Johnson – 17, are best friends that are closer to each other than sisters. Through all the trials life hurls them into, they rally to be there for one another and see each other overcome their tribulation. But they know they can’t obtain any victories without God’s grace.

Grace Trials may be the name of Lauren’s dad’s ranch and church, but the “Grace Trials” make up the casebook that proves God’s grace is for those who believe and cannot be saved, delivered, or set free without the free grace of God. (Okay, you’re right – the Bible has already done that, and proves so… It’s great!)

DREAM-GOAL

Yes, I want this story turned into a movie too! Executively-produced by Kirk Cameron. Pray with me y’all! (I’d accept working with David AR White too.)

It’s odd that I want to work with him so much… like I’m not a fan girl of his… I don’t really watch a lot of his ministry videos, nor have I seen any of his latest Christian Film Productions.

I just want to work with him. I think it would be cool!

WARNING

This story will feature some hard to swallow material, but the topics shouldn’t be ignored and swept under the rug in the church anymore.

MY REQUEST

If you like it as you read it, share it with someone you think may enjoy it, or benefit from it in someway.

MY HOPE

Is that someone who never had faith before, find faith in Jesus.

Yes, this may be a fictional story, with fictional characters, but the God of the Bible is the only God. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life… and in this little piece of fiction, God can save you or someone you’re praying for to be saved!

MANUSCRIPT MONDAY or STORY SUNDAY

At this point, I’m thinking neither, but we’ll see.

Thank you for joining this journey with me.

If you read my post,“Crossing the Finish Line”, then you heard about my story on LITNET called, “A Digital Age Courtship”. If you didn’t read that post or even if you did…

A Digital Age Courtship

The link below takes you directly to that story. ENJOY!

https://litnet.com/en/reader/a-digital-age-courtship-b106691?c=928921&p=1

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Last Fall, with a burning desire to see my dreams become reality. I found a writing contest to enter advertised on Instagram. The contest was through LitNet, which is like WattPad where writers publish their books one chapter at a time. I look at this style of instant publication as live-tweeting for bookworms.

I had two categories to enter. One, “College Campus Romance” or two, “Small Town Mystery Suspense”. I never wrote a mystery before, that option was out. When you make goals to accomplish anything, you have to plan for things where the odds are in your favor and not where the odds are stacked against you.

True, I hadn’t truly wrote a romance, but I did watch a lot of Rom-Coms growing up. Falling in love is still on my agenda for life that needs to be experienced, but I figured my imagination could give me enough to use for a fictional story.

I planned it all out. I would write a book about a modern day courtship, because in all honesty, that is my fantasy. I want to meet a guy, who becomes my friend, then one day he asks me out, and we date with the intention to marry. Now, that doesn’t mean we HAVE TO get married, but I’m not dating to see if we will become something. I plan to date because we are something and we want to grow deeper in relationship.

Get this— I designed the cover, developed my characters, created a fictional world based in the real world, wrote a detailed outline of all the chapters, and I had five months to write my book. I wrote barely five chapters.

I fell for the foolish lie… “No matter how hard I try… I’ll never win the contest.”

All the ambition in me to complete the story was gone. Clutch time arrived, with three weeks left to submit my completed work, and the way I can crank out words I could have maybe finished if I pushed myself… but I didn’t. I think I gave up the second I entered the contest, when the first negative thought creeped into my mind, “Your story won’t get enough attention to win.”

The way the contest worked, to be eligible, was that it needed to fit the theme of the contest, be 50,000 words or more, and get a lot of views and reads from the public. I knew I could write to the theme. I knew I could write 50,000 words. However, I failed to believe people wanted to read my work.

As a Christian should I have low self-esteem if I am abiding in Christ Jesus? Like, look at King David. He was probably ignored by his father, and treated poorly by his brothers, yet he wrote psalms saying the “the Lord’s glory is my glory”… does it sound like he had a low self-esteem?

Since I’ve been thinking about my identity in Christ lately. I am reading the psalms, that we know David poured out from his heart, and I am looking at the scriptures of how God views the nation of Israel as His children, and I am wondering why I ever think so lowly of myself?

Is it because the people who where my examples to guide me in life put me on the back burner too much? Is it because I was picked on for being overweight and wearing boy clothes? It it because I equate what I do as the full representation of who I am?

There are so many scriptures to support we should never think lowly of ourselves. (We shouldn’t think too highly of ourselves either.) In John 3:16, scripture is clear that Jesus was sent and He died for every human being in the world, past, present, and future. By choosing to believe that He came for me, that He died and bled for me, and rose again so that I may have eternal life… that should at the very least let me think, “I am just as capable as anyone else, of winning this contest.”

Reading the word more and more and renewing my mind (in other words) thinking about myself in light of what scripture says, I ought to have amazing thoughts like, “I can win this contest because the Lord makes me victorious!”

Granted, I think people can start confessing the Word of God without believing it, therefore, those fake confessors won’t get nada!

Read Exodus, Deuteronomy, and Numbers in the Bible. God delivered Israel out of B O N D A G E… He did miracles in front of them all the time, and so often they wanted to go back to slavery and idolatry, instead of remaining free. God moved in Israel’s life not because they believed, but because of His covenant and His faithfulness to Abraham. I can see why, when Jesus made a way for Gentiles to come to the Father, that God said all we have to do is believe. I don’t have scripture to back this up, but reading between the lines I’m going out on a limb to say, He must have been crushed age to age. Doing all these signs and wonders to bring people into relationship with Him and they would turn their back on Him for a false god made out of wood or for the doctrines of demons.

Belief will get you further than proof.

This is going to be an eccentric example, but transgenders are a great one. It doesn’t matter what science says… that you are either biologically male or biologically female. People are convinced, regardless of their biology, they are what they think they are. Not only will the medical field help mutilate their bodies, to help them appear to be what they feel, the law will allow them to change genders, and the society supports their beliefs, when the society uses the desired gender pronouns transgender people identify with.

God designed us. I wonder why He allows imagination and belief to be more powerful in our psyche than reality. Is it because He created all we know out of nothing? That because He saw us in entirety out of nothingness, and since we are made in His likeness, it is when we see something in our mind, we create the spark for it to become reality?

We live in the age if it sounds good, which means we think it is good, or we think it is true, we share it before we fact check it? Talk about living in a made-up world?

In Proverbs, the book on Wisdom in the Bible, it says that life and death is in the power of the tongue. Before the tongue can utter a word, you have to think about what you’re going to say. Proverbs also says, what a person thinks about that person is that in their heart. Heart in Hebrew is really more this concept of the heart and the mind being one. (I can’t remember if I googled that heart fact or if I learned it at Bible College, look up a trusted Jewish source on the meaning of the “heart” in the Torah… your mind will be blown!)

I am clearly past the point of winning this contest because it is long over with, but I still have a story to write. Who knows! Maybe Kirk Cameron or the Erwin Brothers will stumble across my story on LitNet and want to make it into a movie and it’s wildly more successful than “I Can Only Imagine” and “God’s Not Dead” put together! Maybe, in the secular world, it’s the best ROM-COM of the YEAR! Better than “Crazy Rich Asians”!

Joyce Meyers talks about the power of your thoughts. She said she’d rather believe God for a lot rather than for a little.

Abraham probably wouldn’t have believed enough for Isaac, if he never believed for descendants as vast as the stars in the sky… (now he has them). David probably never wouldn’t have made it to kingship, if he didn’t believe every victory He had came from the Lord. Paul probably would have died from being stoned the first time, if he didn’t believe it was his purpose in the earth to ready the Body of Christ for the return of Jesus.

What we believe fuels our drive in pursuit of our dreams.

I am crossing the finish line into traditional, New York Best Selling Author, publishing ONE. STORY. AT. A. TIME.

Please go to LitNet and check out “A Digital Age Courtship”. If you have a LitNet account, please follow me. If you like what you read, share the link! Pray for me. If you need prayer, drop a comment below and I will place that request before God in my prayer time and believe with you.

I just want to encourage you. The dreams you have burning like a fire in you, more than likely are in you, because God designed you to live out those dreams. If you aren’t certain your dreams are God-given, I pray right now, for whoever is reading this, that God makes your dreams clear and that He won’t let you escape from completing them. Souls are attached to your destiny. No dream is too small, too big, too silly, or too impossible to achieve when God is in it.

If you have a desire to work for Disney and you believe in Jesus, I pray you go in equipped and get favor to put something out there filled with light, love, and truth for the end time harvest!

If you dream of becoming a teacher but have no money to go to school, I believe God will get that education for you in ways you never thought He would. You knew He could, but you never believed He would.

And maybe I haven’t said a single thing you’re dreaming of… Maybe you have never heard anyone dream of what you dream of doing one day! I’m excited because I know I’m going to read your name in a history book somewhere. You got a dream that will revolutionize the world, and on behalf of the Kingdom, even if no one notices until you’re past your prime or you’re gone. You go do what God designed you to do!

Okay, I’m done now. AMEN! Below is the link to my story on LITNET— “A Digital Age Courtship”.

https://litnet.com/en/book/a-digital-age-courtship-b106691

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Disclaimer: Obviously, these are the top five in my opinion.

# 5 – God’s Not Dead

This film is about a college freshman who takes a philosophy class with an atheist professor who is notorious for killing God by saying God isn’t real.

The title probably comes from something Friedrich Nietzsche wrote when he concluded God is dead. If you didn’t know, Mr. Nietzsche most likely died of thinking so much his brain gave out killing him…

Let me just give a shout out to David AR White! He was a mennonite kid that never grew up watching tv and as an adult he followed the leading of God, went to LA, and pursuing the dream God placed in him built what he has today. As a co-founder of Pureflix, an actor, a producer, (a list of credentials that go on and on), he is an example of someone living out the God-given dream God placed in him.

I used to be incredibly critical of his work and his films because deep down inside I was so jealous. In essence, he is doing what I want to be doing in life! But not just for the Christian community. I want to make films and TV shows that crossover into the secular world but honor God’s precepts. It’s like when you read the Bible and it reads, “Cain killed Abel”. I would display murder in a film, but it wouldn’t be gory or maybe the audience would only see the moment before… Like the Bible reads that Abel’s blood cried out to God from the ground. I would show the spot where the audience knew Cain killed Abel and then with an audio voiceover and dramatic music I would have Abel’s voice crying out to God because he has gone to the place of death (Sheol).

I think that’s more impactful than watching a man kill his brother.

BACK ON TOPIC! This film ranks at number five on my list because it did better than anyone imagined. During its run in theaters, it ranked #4 in the box office, and grossed over 64 million dollars.

I remember working at a movie theater, in Northern Arizona when this movie was released. We were a small theater so we needed to take in films that would make money. When this movie came in with a rank of number four at the box office, our theater finally got it, and there were lines out the door of people trying to get in to see this film!

Kevin Sorbo’s performance is phenomenal by the way. (He plays the atheist professor.)

# 4 – OCTOBER BABY

This film is based on a true story. A young woman finds out she was adopted. Needing to know her origin, she goes with a friend to search for her birth mother only to find out she survived a botched abortion. Out of shame, her birth mother abandoned her, and the young woman was adopted by her parents. Her adoptive mother being a woman who was one of the volunteers who kept her company when she was in the NICU.

The Erwin Brothers are AMAZING! They’ve worked with Pureflix and the Kendricks Brothers for Mom’s Night Out. I actually love every film they’ve done to date.

From the music, to the script, to the ensemble of the cast made this film one of the better faith films. Overall, this film was made better in quality than the faith films before it, but the message was and still is extraordinary.

# 3 – Left Behind (Kirk Cameron Version)

This film was based on the popular book series Left Behind. A fictional story based on how the last days may look on the earth.

I was SO CRITICAL of this film as a kid. I thought if the movie was remade with academy award winning actors in it, it would be better…

Well a few years ago a remake of “Left Behind” came out… with Nicholas Cage – any academy award winner… and it wasn’t as good as the original. (That’s putting it nicely. The good news is I have heard testimonies of people getting saved after they saw the remake version – so proof God was behind the making of it.)

That’s because to make a great film it takes more than great actors. It takes a team of people from the administration, to behind the scenes, to the music, to the writers, to the producers, and to the directors… I even might as go as far to say that the stars need excellent assistants to stay focused to give their best performance.

If you want to think about what the rapture may look like and don’t feel like reading – watch this movie series. However, like all things it’s not 100% accurate. We don’t fully know how everything will play out, but it is interesting to watch and to talk about with friends. Warning: you may feel a burning desire to actually study the Bible about the end times. LOL! That’s a good thing right 🙂

# 2 – WAR ROOM

This movie is about a woman who learns the power of prayer through a matriarch in the faith and through prayer her family is changed for the better.

The Kendricks Brothers make films that transform you when you walk out of the theater… this is their ministry. I would love to work with them one day for their anointing on some ideas I have… which is odd… because yes – I once was critical of these dudes too!

I went to see this movie with some friends and the audience was so lively. We laughed, we amen’d, we cried, we prayed, and we stood up applauding when the film ended. It was like going to church, except many of us were strangers. The fact this film could bring such unity shows how when God is in something it bring His family together!

# 1 – I CAN ONLY IMAGINE

I can’t believing I’m leaving my first favorite film off this list (The Remaining).

MercyMe is an incredible band that wrote a tremendous song called – “I Can Only Imagine”. This movie is based on the life of the band’s lead singer – Bart Millard – and tells the long story behind the hit song, which is the same name of the film.

First of all, the cast was AWESOME!

Secondly, the movie was so well written, beautifully directed, and overall I would say this film should have gotten award recognition from the secular world.

There was a moment I cried sad/happy tears! How does that happen?!

This one was entertainment and ministry. If you have not seen this film – SEE IT! Have tissues though.

It made just over 85 million dollars with a 7 million dollar budget… That’s incredible.

When someone gives the Erwin brothers like 100 million dollar budget it could become one the top grossing films ever. They’re such good stewards with their dollars and they do a lot with a little. I’d love to work with them one day too.

I also recommend watching the following films, they’re watchable, inspiring (or thought provoking), and they are all films that took me deeper in my walk with Christ Jesus. I’m not sure if they’ll do the same for you, but if you need a break from what Hollywood keeps making… these films will give you that Hollywood fix but fueled by Jesus.

  • The Remaining – It is a rapture themed film based on Revelation 8 and 9. It’s classified as a thriller – so it’s spooky. It’s not very biblically sound, but Alexa PenaVega (Spy Kid Girl) is in it and I LOVE HER!
  • Grace Unplugged – AJ Michalka who stars on ABC’s “Schooled” now. The spinoff show from the “Goldbergs”. In this film, the daughter of a rockstar, who left his wild life behind to follow Jesus, leaves home for LA and gets caught up in the fame monster Lady Gaga sung about and loses herself in the process. It ends well, but if I say more, I’ll spoil how. Chris Tomlin is in this movie for those who love his worship music. Jamie-Grace Harper Collins is in it too.
  • The Song – is sort of a modern version of King Solomon, if he were a Country Music Star and only had one wife… Alan Powell from Anthem Lights stars in it.
  • Woodlawn – another Erwin Brothers film. Also based on a true story. It’s a football movie about one of the first interracial teams. And the cool part is that Jesus the Messiah had so much to do with it!
  • Mom’s Night Out – IF YOU LOVE GREY’S ANATOMY’S DR. APRIL KEPNER – you will love Sarah Drew in this movie about motherhood. Well, mom’s needing a break from being a mom…
  • The Case for Christ – This was like the first well made Christian film I’ve seen script wise. It would be like in my top ten at #6 or maybe tied with #3. Erika Christensen may be a scientologist but she was a genuinely believable Christian convert. Her performance deserves an award in my book. I also think she is so underrated. Let’s pray she finds Jesus and leaves Scientology.
  • Unbroken: Path to Redemption – I wish Angelia Jolie wanted to tell the second half of the Olympic Runner Louis Zamperini’s life. He got saved at a Billy Graham Revival! It’s a new cast replacing the original cast and crew of the first film “Unbroken”, but Matthew Baer returns as a producer.
  • Soul Surfer – starring AnnaSophia Robb, Helen Hunt, and Dennis Quaid… Carrie Underwood is in here too. Based on the true story of Bethany Hamilton and WOW this film is so great! I saw this at a really low point in my life and it picked me up and inspired me to dream again and to work hard at achieving my God given dream.
  • Breakthrough – no words other than that’s how faith works. See it!
  • Run the Race – this film felt like an indie film – (technically it is one) and had that pace. Super cool camera angles to bring a realistic depth and feel to the story. I cried during the main characters monologue prayer. I think it was little melodramatic with the storyline but I still loved it. When I say I got delivered from some things after watching this movie – I got delivered! Worth watching once.
  • Miracles from Heaven – answer to prayer. No lie… maybe I’ll write about it one day. Watch this with your family.
  • 90 Seconds in Heaven – Also an answer to prayer… It’s an alright film. I suggest watching it if you have a hard time believing people can die, see heaven, and come back to life.
  • Unconditional – heartwarming.
  • The Christmas Candle  – My favorite Christmas story that isn’t a nativity story.
  • Jumping the Broom – If you like romcom films.

Did I leave your favorite faith film off the list? Drop the film title in the comments and the reason why you love it, I’d like to check it out if I haven’t heard of it.

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KYLIE

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“I like the name Gwendolyn for a girl and Murphy for a boy…” Kylie confessed with an unsure look on her face. She winced worried she’d bring up painful memories for Jon.

“I think both of those names are lovely. Papa Silas and Mom will feel honored when you share your preference, but I like Marie for a girl or Yesh a for a boy…” Jon said.

Kylie rolled her eyes wishing she could argue with him over those names. He like Marie because it’s a form of Mary, the mother of Jesus, and he likes Yesh, short for Yeshua, the Hebrew name of Jesus. Jon believes names are prophetic statements over once’s life… that a name can help shape who you become… that’s why God changed peoples names in the Bible or said what their names should be before they were born.

Kylie stuck her nose back in her book-styled tablet. The paper-light made it similar to reading an old-fashioned paper book. And though Kylie had plenty of regular paper books to choose from in the manor, with the rare blessing to be the newest, and youngest Philosopher’s Wife, she was used to using a book-tablet for all her reading like when she grew up in a Sanctuary.

The sudden touch of Jon’s cold, large, slender hands on her bulging middle made her heart skip a beat for a moment. She closed her book-tablet, and set it in the middle of the bed. She watched Jon lay sideways on the bed, his torso facing her, while his face was fixed on the exterior of her womb. Gently, he rested his forehead and his lips moved but no sound came out. He was praying for their unborn child. She could feel the warmth of the Holy Spirit flow from his hands and into the baby’s chamber. The baby began to kick and move around. Kylie giggle trying not to let the discomfort the baby gave bother her. She imagined the baby was dancing.

In Romans, the Bible says we are all born with the knowledge of God… her heart’s deepest prayer was that her baby would never forget about God. She prayed that God would lead the child to the path of eternal life.

If she knew God when she was pregnant with Bailey’s and Garrison’s daughter… she would have prayed the same… She’s so big now. She’s the 97th percentile for 7 year olds in height, She towers over all boys and girls. Kylie didn’t think her egg and Garrison’s sperm would make such a beautiful, tall, lanky kid. She worried the kid would be ugly. With the exception of Gwendolyn, the Angelcrest’s looked like the trolls that hung out under the bridge… not pretty. Kylie personally doesn’t find herself pretty, but little Taylor is the most gorgeous girl that ever lived.

Sometimes she wished Taylor could be her daughter instead of her niece… but right now, Kylie held the title of most awesome aunt in the world! As long as Kylie kept that what could go wrong.

When Jon finished praying, he used his elbows on the mattress to crawl to meet Kylie face to face.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

“Only every chance you see me…”

“I love you,” He said as kissed Kylie on the lips.

There’s no one more she loved kissing than her husband of three amazingly sweet years. Though sometimes it was weird for her.

She remembers when they were much younger and kissing like this gave her anxiety. Where she felt tortured being treated like a girl. How when Nix would touch Lore’s breast she hated herself for being a woman and was depressed she wasn’t a man, like Nix. She would sometimes picture being the man and even though it wasn’t true, thinking that way helped her cope…

If she didn’t think like a man she may have killed herself. Because every time she had to look at her naked body, not matching how she felt on the inside, she desired death opposed to the living hell she was in… Two things kept her going in the Sanctuary… Her friendship with Nix and the chance for I.D. Synthesis.

“I love you,” Kylie said when they paused for air and she kissed him back.

Kissing Jon now made her feel every bit a woman. She felt a subtle power in being a woman- a life giver because only woman can bear and deliver children. As a woman she found peace in following Jon’s lead. She looked to him to be her guiding light and when Jon was weary and when Jon needed help, in those times she felt called to be his comfort and to be his support. Every day, she got up, she would spend time with God in her secret place, in her mind as she pretended to do her morning yoga, but then the rest of her day was spent making sure Jon got what he needed, and every need she had Jon did his best to meet it. Yes, they both failed everyday to be everything for one another, and they didn’t need each other, but they both chose to need each other.

Jon gently settled away from sucking Kylie’s face and laid on his side, holding up his head his hand on bended elbow. He lied there in his night tee and bed shorts like a total king and Kylie wanted more… if she wasn’t the size of an elephant… it was more work at this stage of pregnancy to get laid than it was worth… in her opinion… but not all women are like Kylie.

“Tomorrow, the Panel requested to see my latest Philosophy in pamphlet form… isn’t that cool?”

“No!” Kylie panicked. That meant he had to share his sources and all of it came from the Bible, using a portion is okay, but using all of it isn’t…

“Relax… whatever will be will be…”

Another topic she wanted to argue about with Jon. He could at least postpone to do something that could kill him until after the baby was born… but the Kylie thought what if one of the Philosopher’s needed to be reminded of the truth before their last breath…

She thought about the sacrifices both Gwendolyn and Murphy made for her.

GWENIE THE DEARLY BELOVED

‘I am grieved that my daughter will forever be known for supporting an ideology that spread bigotry, hatred, homophobia, and down-right judgmental thoughts and attitudes… but that doesn’t change the fact she was my daughter, dearly beloved. She was the wife of my brilliant apprentice I am honored to call son. Her laugh, her smile, her zeal of life will never be forgotten. She will forever be treasure in my heart. Her mother’s heart. Her brother’s heart. Gwendolyn Celeste Angelcrest Fenix aka Gwenie– is her own paradise fashioned by the delusion built on her faulty belief systems– and knowing she now rejoined with the deity that surrounds us, that is in us all and in all things, gives me peace of mind.’ Silas said at her for Gwenie’s eulogy.

Jon cried heavy tears the entire time. Kylie held his hand trying to be a comfort but knew she wasn’t. Gwenie was his wife for two years and he loved her deeeply. Jaya sat on the other side of Jon, rubbing his back in a circular motion.

Kylie’s mind was plagued with guilt for betraying Gwenie like Judas did to Jesus.

A few weeks before Gwenie was arrested at Taylor’s first birthday, at Garrison’s and Bailey’s home… Kylie was summoned to report to her Sanctuary for a spontaneous evaluation. At her second to last evaluation Kylie requested an extension to be an egg donor and surrogate for Bailey and Garrison. Bailey transitioned from a male to a female but still couldn’t have children. The Society agreed to stop her IDS, allow her to fulfill her duty to her family for however long it took and six months after giving birth should resume her IDS for six more months and then transition into a male like she originally desired.

Six months after giving birth, Kylie wasn’t sure about becoming male. Something about giving birth didn’t make her hate being a woman anymore.

In the last month of pregnancy, she lived with Garrison and Bailey, and one weekend they went of town didn’t time alone before becoming parents. Gwenie came over to stay with Kylie because Jon had a ton of work and he needed solace.

One night for dinner, Gwenie dragged Kylie to the Public Sector or the Sailor’s Barge… They had bomb fish and chips and then they stayed until the club hours and went to the basement and Kylie broke out crying when she was welcomed a small group of fellow believers. She no longer had to keep her faith in her mind. She could freely talk about God. She could pray out loud. For the first time, she sang a worship song about the second coming of the Lord… she didn’t want to leave.

Since that night and after giving birth, Kylie went to the basement of the Sailor’s Barge as often as she could. She took more copies of scripture than anyone else, but she never shared them. She saved them to make her own copy of the Bible.

On the day she was summoned to the Sanctuary, they had pictures of her reading a paper booklet tied together with yarn in a makeshift spin. They searched the purse she had with her and found it that booklet… as a makeshift Bible… when they asked where she got it she didn’t want to give up the Sailor’s Barge Basement… She gave up Gwenie instead, after all… she was the one who had access to a Bible and it was in her hand writing. As an offspring from the Private Level, she was one of the few people in the world who could write by hand… everyone else in the Public typed on devices or spoke into devices to create text messages and to write epapers for school.

They asked her right then and there if she believed she wanted to say yes, but she said no. When they asked why she read the pages she claimed she was curious. They asked why didn’t she report Gwenie and offer the book as evidence willingly, she honestly said she wanted to protect her best friend’s wife. Then they asked her why she wanted to be a woman after giving birth.

Kylie answered, ‘Having a child made me feel powerful… I don’t want to give that up… I want more children and if I must sacrifice my desire to be a man for that, then I can live with myself.’

New medical reports at this time shared the alarming rate of infertility. Shocking discoveries that people healthy to reproduce where giving up their ability to reproducing by becoming the opposite gender. And though some female to male people could bear child, it violated the Society’s Social Codes, so they’re started sterilizing all transgender people to make it equal across the board. If the world’s birth rate remained low, there would be no one to replace the world’s current population in the next 100 years.

Simply because Kylie proved to give a healthy offspring, she was spared punishment for breaking the Society’s number one Social Code – worshipping the One True God.

Kylie told herself Gwenie would get a slap on the wrist for being the Chief Philosopher’s Daughter and the Granddaughter of the Chief Policymaker, but it was because of her they decided to televise the stoning of One True God Followers. The Panel chose stoning as the delivery for death to honor their belief in an ancient horrid religion.

Due to the rise in believers, the Panel discussed bringing crucifixion back to scare people out of taking the risk of even thinking of believing.

Anyone who didn’t watch the stoning was arrested and stoned after Gwenie. Everyone was warned beforehand. Kylie sat in Silas’s TV Room, next to Jon, holding his hand, and she watched Gwenie get stoned by the armored lawenforcers. She stood for as along as she could, she only cried when it was unbearable. And when she couldn’t stand, she hoisted herself up on her knees, and in her final breaths on the ground, she cried the name of the Savior again and again until a stone  hit in between the eyes and caved her head in.

Jon and Kylie held each other balling together. He grieved from loss and Kylie wept from overbearing loss. She wished for death. In that moment, she wanted to stand up and say she believed, but Jon did something weird… He kissed her on the lips and then he whispered in her ear. ‘I need you… don’t leave me…’

They didn’t go on a date until two years, forty-two days, and nine hours after Gwenie’s death, but by then Jesus made it clear like Peter, Kylie was forgiven.

The day after her 24th birthday, she became Kylie Taylor Fenix… and without hearing the truth five and half years prior… she wouldn’t be a woman… and she would be on track to hell in the next life living this life as a man.

OUTSIDE THE LOUNGE

Kyl had been tormented for six months. Going through hormone treatments, to harvest eggs, and then having to handle failed implantation after failed implantation… Kyl loved his sister Bailey, but he couldn’t handle putting his dream of becoming a man for real on hold.

To blow off steam, and to relax, AND to FIND someone to HOOK up with to really let go off ALL the CRAP he FELT… he went to the Lounge. Though Kyl fished to take a pretty lady home, no one bit the bait. So Kyl got trashed. Drunker than he ever got before.

Leaving the lounge, he stumbled and nearly fell face first into the sidewalk. He caught himself on the post of a street lamp. A man met him there on that corner and helped hold him up. He looked like an old and gray Nix. And even though, him and Nix were friends again, things weren’t the same between them, and Kyl missed what he and Nix had in the Sanctuary.

‘Excuse me, have you ever heard the Gospel?’ The older man asked.

After giving some speech about Jesus, death, and resurrection and being born-again, and going to heaven instead of hell, the man asked, “Do you believe in the Gospel, Kylie?”

Suddenly, he was tackled by three armored officers. He fought back but the beat him until he fell limp unconscious. Kyl was so freaked out and confused by everything he passed out.

He woke up the next day in his bed. The officers must have brought him home.

Three weeks later, Kyl had a dream of a glamorous place. The streets were pure gold, so pure it was see-thru. There was endless light all around her and total peace. She say this man with holes in his hands and where a white robe. He was bearded and she knew who he was… the man who was God who died on a cross for her sins.

“I love you Kylie.”

Abruptly, she woke up and instantly believed the Gospel was true. She left like she needed to look in her back pants pocket and she pulled out a little piece of paper that had written on it, “God sent his only begotten Son for the salvation of the world. For whosoever believes in the Son should have eternal life…” John 3:16. The old man must have slipped it in her pocket somehow. Deep in her heart she believed in Jesus and she felt free. She no longer wanted to be Kyl. She wanted to be Kylie like her parents named her.

KYL LORE

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Three days after commencement, Kyl finally got leave. He got little panicked trying to leave the Sanctuary the first day and he feels bad that he stood Nix up. But when he was walking down the hall the first, a panic hit him heavy. Bailey always visited him growing up in the Sanctuary, would if his parents wouldn’t show up for him, and he would be all alone like Bailey was after her commencement.

For three days, he rested in a blue light room to release. He talked about his fears with a counselor. He did a lot of meditation asking spirits to guide him to peace.

He cut his hair into the male style he wanted and he selected faux eye-glasses to look smart. Chicks dig nerdy guys.

On his second attempt to leave the Sanctuary, he could feel another panic attack coming, but he pressed through fearing life in the Sanctuary more than the unknown that awaited him.

Bailey and Garrison came to pick him and took him to the Private Level to their house, though he was assigned a nice apartment on the edge of the Public Level. That’s when Bailey told Kyl about their parents. They were famous entertainers who took their lives in a double suicide when Kyl was 6 and Bailey was 12. They watched a marathon of movies their parents starred into together… they were the Society’s hottest actors and hottest celebrity couple.

Entertainers may live in the Private Level, but they only have the rights of Public Level Members. Their child must be raised in Sanctuaries but do get to return to their entertainer parents during IDS.

Kyl was never that into movie so he never realized who his parents were, but watching the movie where their parents fell in love on set, she remembered one visit from them in the Sanctuary.

LORE

Sage Lore was six years old. Hirs (here) caretaker took hirs to the Visitor’s Hall to see hirs parents. Sie (zee) was so excited! Lore’s Alma (mother) was pencil thin and looked like a walking corpse and Lore’s Animo (father) was big and bulky like a comic book superhero. Their teeth blindingly white, their skin seemingly perfect, and their clothes super pressed and fresh looking.

Lore sat in between them on a bench to a long table. All three of them used the table top like a back rest.

They spent a long time giving Lore kisses and telling sie they loved hirs. Hirs Animo sat hirs on the lap. Lore faced inward looking at hirs Animo’s face while hirs hair was braided by hirs Alma.

The time came for them to leave and hirs Animo set Lore on the ground on hirs feet. They both hugged Lore at the same time and whispered in hirs ear, ‘Believe when you hear the Gospel. Jesus loves you.’

Six people wearing clunky black outfits and black face glassy covers came and surrounded Lore’s parents. The people in black showed Mr. and Mrs. Taylor out. Lore got to visit with Bailey the next week, even though older kids did not hang out with younger ones.

Over time, Lore realized sie would never see hirs parents again, but sie knew sie would always have Nix.

Author’s Note

You may have realized everyone who got saved in this story was connected to believer in their family before them. I’m not saying only the relatives of believers get saved, but I do know God is faithful to answer prayer. If fellow believers are anything like me, I pray for my family who don’t know God personally, to know Him and I thank God for the salvation and I trust God will give them chance after chance until they die to know God.

Martyrdom turned out to be a huge theme I didn’t expect to hit on until I wrote Murphy’s section. Then this theme took over.

I know I personally don’t reflect on the fact that I could die one day for my faith in Jesus. Not that I think anyone aspires to be a martyr, but can you say you truly believe in something if you’re not willing to die for what you believe in?

This concludes I.D. Synthesis. This was originally a novel length idea that I compressed into a four part series.

I’m sure there are so many questions! Look out for some videos explaining the things not resolved in this series. Please, drop questions in the comments below or on any parts of the story and I’ll do my best to address them in my videos or by responding to your comment. Thank you for taking this journey with me and I hope you come along for the next one. Bring some friends too! Spread the word about this weird story you read online and you made you think a lot!!! Say what you want how you want to say it, I simply ask you be kind.

Thank you,

Much Love,

Bri,

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MURPHY

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Murphy Fenix doesn’t really remember his parents. The Society ran the Protected Level differently in the beginning. Murphy and his wife were apart of the first generation of Synthesizers. They lived with their parents until they were 4 years old, and then they grew up in Sanctuaries until they were 16. As fresh sweet sixteens, they underwent I.D. Synthesis being evaluated every 3 months. Then at the age 20, they selected their gender, sexual orientation, and spiritual practice.

A couple of years after he finished his IDS, the process changed over the span of 10 years. How the process works now was finalized a few years before Jon was born.

Unlike Jon, Murphy never got to see his parents. It was complete separation from their parents for the Collective of 52, believing parental bonds could influence who children decided to become. However, majority of Society members from Collective 52 suffered from severe depression and did not complete I.D. Synthesis. To date, most of the workers in Sanctuaries are from Collective 52 remaining inside a gender neutral environment.

When Murphy left the Sanctuary, he was given an occupation he had to keep secret. He would say he worked as a janitor in the Law House, located behind the wall in the Private Sector. A black car from behind the wall would come and pick him up early in the morning as the sun rose, and dropped him back off at his apartment late at night, after dark.

He remembers the first day he crossed the checkpoint of the wall and ventured into the Private Level. It was his second day amongst the Society. He just spent a wild night at the Lounge with his roommate Gabriel. At the time Murphy was attracted to men and therefore, hooked up with different bulky, manly, men every night. On his first night though, he brought home the most beautiful woman he ever saw. Her outrageous beauty and enchanting charm swayed him to spend one night with her. After that, they agreed to be friends not feeling any chemistry between them. She fast became his best friend.

Behind the wall, there are trees, grass, space from building to building, and smog-free blue skies. Everything looks pristine and presentable. The sidewalks and the streets are so clean at times it seems fake. It was that way back then and it is the same way now.

The sun fully rose and took the sky when the black car pulled up to the Philosopher’s house. Chief Philosopher Silas Angelcrest was and still is considered the wisest man when pondering the state of humanity and directing a path for humanity’s future… Silas’s father, Hugo Angelcrest, was one of the founding fathers of the Society and continues to serve as Chief Policymaker.

Silas was single at the time and lived alone. The man’s black hair went down to his shoulders. He wore beaded bracelets and a beaded necklace. That day he wore a bright red tunic with a golden dragon on it. He did not wear any shoes because he was in a season of groundedness, where his entire being needed to connect with the force in his surroundings. He claimed to feel a connection with all things, living and inanimate.

The first place Silas took Murphy was to his study and explained why Murphy was there…

‘You’re here Blanco (Murphy’s Sanctuary first name) because you tested to be a deeper thinker, connecting with the deep universal truths without being taught them. The Panel and I know you’re destined to be a part of the elect, but it is up to you to choose that path. I will take you under my wing. I will share my wealth of knowledge of wisdom with you. And if you pass your training, if the Panel accepts you, and if you choose this path, then you will become the first Philosopher from the Public Level.’ Silas said with an effeminate tone. He talked with hands whenever he got the chance. He was a very bright person. If personality could be colors, he would be the rainbow with a touch of sparkles.

They began right away. Often, Murphy would be up to his head in books for reading assignments. Murphy’s reading go so extensive that Silas would allow him to spend weeks at time in the huge manor. After a year, Silas made a room for him to stay when wanted to, which was all the time.

The remaining six months of Murphy’s I.D. Synthesis, Murphy (who then was Blanco Fenix, a caucasian, homosexual, spiritual man) confessed he was in love with Silas. And even though it was unethical they proceeded to have an affair.

Then a month before Murphy’s IDS was to be finalized, he was reading the Holy Bible for an assignment studying “The Limitations of Morality for the Stability of the Psyche”. He came across an old testament scripture.

Leviticus 18:22

22 “ ‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.’ ” (NIV)

Leviticus 20:13

13 “ ‘If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.’ ” (NIV)
Reading these scriptures infuriated Murphy. He deeply desired to tear the pages right out of the old book, but he didn’t want to risk going to prison for destroying Silas’s irreplaceable property.
He once liked Abrahamic Literature. A part of him wanted to believe in the God of the Bible, even though it was forbidden, but after reading how the God of the Bible would order his death for him being who he was… he then hated the Bible God.
He began having nightmares about a place of fire. The heat hot enough to melt his skin, yet his skin never did. He would cry in agony so intensely he gnashed his teeth, bitterly angry that no matter how much he pleaded for help, no one came to save him.
One late night, Blanco forced himself to stay awake in the study, sitting in front of the fireplace, watching a real fire burn. Silas came in to check on his pupil, his love. When Blanco told him about his nightmares, Silas responded back, ‘You’ve been reading too much ancient history about hell, hades, sheol, the place of death, or whatever you choose to call it… Fill your soul with positive things.’
When Blanco asked what hell was Silas chuckled thinking the young man was joking.
Blankly, Blanco stared at him innocently. Legitimately unaware of a mythical or religious place called hell, Blanco asked Silas to explain what the place was.
However, Silas suddenly got uncomfortable and very irritable. The corner is right eye flinched, which happened when he was frustrated. He said to Blanco, ‘It doesn’t matter. It’s not real.’ He took Blanco by the hands and pulled him off the ground. He reeled Blanco close to him and asked, ‘Come spend the rest of the night in my room.’
Taking two steps away from him, Blanco asked a random, out of nowhere question, ‘You’re never going to marry me are you?’
Snapping loudly, and annoyed to the point of spitting as hollered his consonants, ‘YOU KNOW I CANNOT MARRY YOU. YOU KNEW SNICE OUR LOVE BEGAN!’
Weeping, Blanco fled the manor and ran to the wall desperate to get as far away as he could from Silas, from the cause of broken, confused heart.
Back at his apartment. Alone in his room, he sat at the foot of his bed. All the Bible stories where God would visit them in a vision or in their dreams… Deep in his heart, Blanco wanted to encounter the God of the Bible.
When he managed to fall asleep… nothing happened that he could remember.
Like all other mornings when he didn’t spend the night with Silas, the black car came to pick him up during sun rise. This time, however, Blanco didn’t get in the vehicle. The self-driving ride stayed parked outside Blanco’s apartment complex for days. Days where Blanco sat on his knees pleading to the God of the Bible, asking if He was real.
Day by day, Blanco changed the way he dressed, the way he talked, the way he thought. He would recite portions of scripture he remembered. ‘Be still and know I AM God.’ … ‘Jesus said, ‘I am the way, the truth, the life’… ‘In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.’ … ‘No light can extinguish the darkness’ … ‘He is my shepherd, I shall not. Though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, I shall fear no evil’… Day bay day, hour by hour, he began to believe these words.
He may have been held up in a white walled room, with a twin bed covered in white linens, and day and night he prayed on a cold, white tile floor, on his knees– but the more he believed the Word he felt like he was on top of a mountain peak, looking over a beautiful valley with a lake. He no longer felt alone. He felt this constant peace and an overwhelming warmth in his heart. He just knew… the God of the Bible was real.
One day, there was a knock on his door while Gabriel was at work. He had three days until his last IDS evaluation.
An old man stood in the narrow hallway and asked, ‘Are you Blanco Fenix?’
Hesitantly, Blanco nodded his head yes.
‘Have you ever heard the Gospel?’
Blanco shook his head, not because he didn’t hear that word, but because he did. He also knew, what happened when that word was spoken out loud, in any language, across the world… well, the world that remained. He shook his head wanting to protect this old man. Who was hunched over, frail looking with very wrinkly skin, and cloudy eyes.
Blanco wanted to warn the man and to tell him to go, but Blanco made contact with those cloudy eyes that once were all dark brown. The sense of pure love that emanated from them, captivated Blanco’s heart. If he remembered his father, Blanco imagined that gaze was the stare of a loving, proud, father. It was odd to miss someone you had no recollection of, but that was Blanco every day, he missed the man who was his dad, but he couldn’t remember what he looked like, or the sound of his voice.
The old man told Blanco the Gospel in the simplest form. Every person is born a sinner. That’s just the truth. Sin keeps people apart from God. Jesus, who is God- the Son of God, came as a human, born of a virgin, fathered by the Holy Spirit. At the age of 30, he started healing broken people, sick people, helping the poor and needy, feeding the hungry, taking social outcasts and giving them a new crew, and bring the dead back to life. Three years later he was put to death on a cross, naked and scared he died a shameful death charged as criminal though he was innocent. This act was taken as a perfect sacrifice by God, and in that moment God forgave every person that ever lived, was living at the time, would live. Three days later, Jesus came back to life, and forty days later ascended to heaven saying he would come back again, but with an army to destroy all that is bad and make everything good. The catch was, to be apart of this, was to believe, and to accept Jesus came and died for the sin of the world, that Jesus died for you and for me, for anyone who may believe. Once you believe in your heart and confess that Jesus is your Lord and Savior… then you are forever apart of God’s family.
Right as the old man said, ‘Murphy, do accept Jesus as your Lord and your Savior?’ the law enforcement came and violently apprehended the old man. Three armored officers tackled him to the ground dog-piling on top of him. When they stood up, the old man lied limp and twisted on the ground, laboring to breath. One officer snatched him by the foot and dragged him away across the floor. As the officer yanked the old man down the stairs, he wailed in deep pain. Blanco knew horrible torture awaited him.
The two remaining officers asked Blanco if he believed what the man said, using advanced technology to check if he was lying based on heart rate, voice pitch, basal temperature, and eye pupil dilation. The technology was built into their face masks.
Blanco could feel every drop of sweat drizzle down his forehead. His heart felt like it was beating in his throat. He was terrified to confess yes, but he felt like it would be wrong to say no. He didn’t want to lie anymore. Yet, he didn’t want to die. In that moment, he wondered if heaven was real or a state of consciousness like he was taught in the Sanctuary.
‘No,’ Blanco said.
The officer standing on Blanco’s left said, ‘His readings are on the cuff, but he’s probably shaken up by what he saw… I think he’s telling the truth.’
The other officer agreed with the once that shared the face mask scans. Then they left.
Blanco went back to his room and he looked at himself in the body mirror that hung on his door. He remembered reading a book on the Gaelic language. He remembered that Murphy means Sea Warrior… Then he wondered in his mind why God would name him Sea Warrior. Then he remember Jesus told his disciples he would make them fisher of men… God saw him. God was calling him to spread the Gospel to the Public Level. The old man, like a loving father, gave his life for Blanco Fenix… for Murphy Fenix.
Three days later, Blanco Fenix returned to the Sanctuary where he was raised. He took his last evaluation. The evaluator asked how the young man identified, he said, ‘Murphy Fenix, a caucasian, heterosexual man, who is spiritual… and I will marry Jaya Patel, the most beautiful woman in the world…’
FINDING JAYA
Seven years, a hundred and twenty-three days, fourteens hours, and sixteen minutes after his final IDS Evaluation, Murphy found Jaya in the most fated away.
He was cooking dinner for his ex-roommate Gabriel and his husband and their girlfriend when he sliced his finger open and had to be rushed to the Emergency Healing Center. As he and his grossed-out dinner friends were waiting for him to get seen by a Healer and an apprentice, when Jaya came in with a medic team bringing in some pretty battered up people.
She looked rugged, worn out, and exhausted and her hair was in a frazzled messy bun, and she wasn’t wearing any makeup, but Murphy knew it was the same beautiful woman from nine years ago, his first one night stand he ever had.
He leaped out of his seat and shout her name across the waiting room just as she was disappearing to the healing corridors. The sound of her name made her come back out into the waiting room. She stared at Murphy without a clue as to who he was…
He rushed over to her and exuberantly pleaded, ‘I know I seem like a total stranger but we do know each other. May I have permission to kiss you?’
‘No!’ She gasped fretfully taking a huge step back from him.
‘Right… creepy question… well, can we meet somewhere for coffee? I don’t drink. But we slept together – you know – had sex – nine years ago and lately, I keep thinking what would have happened if we ever went out on a date… May I take you out on a date…’
‘If we never had another night that meant I felt no chemistry with you, what makes you think that would change in nearly a decade?’
‘I’m different.’ He said gazing deeply into eyes, feeding all the chemistry he could muster in pure awe and fascination of her.
‘I prefer tea… cold tea… why don’t we meet at the Sailor’s Barge…’
THE SAILOR’S BARGE
A few days later, they met by the marina, at the Sailor’s Barge. She had iced tea, fish and chips. He got coffee and a burger with egg on it. Not only did they keep going back for every date, abstaining from sex until they were married. The Sailor’s Barge became their favorite restaurant.
Because for those who believed in the God of the Bible, during the bar hours, believers would gather in the basement, and study the world of God together, prayed together, and worshipped together. Over the years new members would come in after the bold faith of past member led the new believers there. And instead of morning the tragic loss of their martyred member, they would cling to the hope they would see them again in paradise, and thanked God for the new members to join their ranks in the battle for souls.
Two and half years ago, Jon came home to be with Jaya and Murphy. Six months ago, he left their home to get his own place. He works as a Janitor in the Law House behind the wall. He is engaged to be married to Gwendolyn Angelcrest… who meets in the basement at Sailor’s Barge twice a week. She writes new verses down from the Bible in her dad’s study and makes copies. She brings them to the basement group for members to pass out on the streets to those the Holy Spirit leads them to give scripture to.
Seeing them together makes Murphy think of him and Jaya… Jon has become the man Murphy prayed for him to be. He was never tempted with same sext attraction. He found God at a young age. And he found the right woman for him immediately after finishing IDS.
THE CALL
In the middle of the night, Murphy woke up suddenly panicked by the vision he had in his sleep, but when He prayed for strength, he found the courage to get up and to get dressed.
Jaya woke up and asked what he was doing.
He said, “I must go take care of something very important. I love you forever and beyond, Jaya.”
Gasping as fresh tears pooled in her eyes, she covered her mouth with her hands to muffle her scream. She furiously shook her head. Then she latched her arms around his neck and weeping with heavy tears.
“No, no, no, no, no, no… noooooooooooo,” she hushed just below a whisper.
“I have to go. I can’t be late.” He ripped her arms away from around his neck and he held his wife’s face in his hands and kissed her tear covered lips. As he broke away, her grief caused her to collapse on her face into the bed covers that buried her legs. She laid there bent with her upper half sandwiched with her lower half.
Murphy showed up to the spot of his vision. He waited under a street lamp, across from the popular Lounge where Synthesizers and Elects mingle in the landscape of the night scene. He wanted to see the person whose soul was worth his own life. He kept thinking about Jesus… bruised, beaten, scarred and marred hanging on a cross for him. The blood dripping from His side. He thought about Jesus drowning from the fluid in His lungs with a caved in chest. He thought about Jesus being mocked for being who was… the King of the Jews… the Messiah. Murphy thought about Him bearing the sin of the world and becoming sin all for this future moment… so that Murphy would know Him, and love Him, and to make Murphy a man willing to die so someone else may know Him… This was the heart of the Father- to give up everything one has for another with one’s own life, life being the most precious treasure one can own.
Murphy waited for his signal and once it came, he took a deep, and in his head he said, ‘Here I come Jesus! I’ll see you soon..’
 Author’s Note
As I wrote this last part of Murphy’s story… I had worship music playing and I was balling as I typed the last two paragraphs. I’m a typical American. I love my life and I want a good one. When things get rough, I act entitled and go, “Why me God?!”
But Jesus said the greatest thing one could do for their friend is to give their life for their friend.
Sure, I would die for my family, for my best friends, but would I die for someone I haven’t even met yet.
We know God is all knowing and growing up in church, I would hear sermons about God knowing everything about us and having a plan for us… which I believe is true.
But on judgement day, the Lord will either know us or He won’t. What if He doesn’t think about anyone and activates a plan for their life until they get witnessed to or someone prays for them.
Honestly, I don’t understand how God does it. I know He is good, the word says so, and I know He is love, the word says so… But I can’t understand what it is like to be perfectly just and to be perfectly holy… In my human understanding, I think it’s wrong for someone to go to hell just because they didn’t know Him. I can understand if they rejected God after hearing about Him, but what if no one ever told them about Jesus?
Maybe God has plan for that and took care of it, but there’s nothing in my Bible indicating this that I have found… so I can’t live my life based on a small margin of possibility. I must live my life on what I know the word says. The truth is Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Jesus is who the Bible says He is, and the Holy Spirit affirms that. There are no deeper truths. Jesus was not #WOKE like the New Age Movement says. Oprah is wrong about Christianity. Jesus was more than just a teacher and a good prophet. He is my Savior. He is my Lord.
I’ll confess I’ve been so ashamed to right this story. I’m afraid people will misconstrue what I’m doing here. I’m afraid of getting attacked by people who for the LBGTQI Community.
I still live in a time where I can write a story, based on a thought, and I can share my beliefs. I would rather someone gets offended hearing the truth than to adore my stories on their way to hell.
The crazy part is, from age 8 to age 20 I felt like a boy. I had dreams about dating famous actresses. Intense, visual dreams at that. And I almost thought I would be stuck being a single, lesbian Christian woman because I couldn’t find enough support in the Bible that God made a mistake when I was born a girl.
Now, I proclaim a very different narrative. I am a woman, and boy, lately I got real desires to be married to a man so pray for me y’all!
And no, I never felt judged by the church because no one knew that I struggled with gender dysphoria. I didn’t even plead with God all the time to be free. I pretended to be a man in my imaginary word, and in my made up stories… That is how I coped with a reality being stuck as a woman that tormented me day and night… Then, as I matured in Christ Jesus, I got to a point I couldn’t take it anymore… I needed to embrace my desires to pursue becoming a man or I needed God to change me.
I prayed on election night, in 2012 – deeply troubled and in a moment God set me free. Since then, I have not lusted after a woman nor have had any dreams about being intimate with women. November this year, will be my 7th year of freedom and I believe God has something really special in store, because it wasn’t until last year around this time that I actually felt like a woman… I know… it doesn’t make complete sense to me either… It took six years to restore me into who he designed me to be from birth. God created the world in six days, and on the seventh day he rested in celebration… My seventh year of freedom is going to be my year of rest and celebration!
If you identify with the LBGTQI Community or support the community. Feel free to message me and we can discuss whatever you would like.
I also believe though you’re reading this story for a reason. Someone, somewhere in the earth is praying for the eternal destination of your soul. It’s no so much about where you’re going but who you know. Past the the thorns of religion and religious people is a God who loves you and is so committed to your freedom, He asks you to do something crazy and to give your whole life to Him.
Is your life easy now? Probably not and if it is, you should be worried… This life is meant to be a battle, but it’s important to end the war on the winning side. The victors are with Jesus the Son of Man. What God would call themselves the child of humanity? In its historical context, a Son of Man in Hebrew refers to someone called by God to be the hero for people. But I like to look at it like this… Jesus would have no purpose without humanity needing redemption. The state us in our sin gave birth to his humble entrance into the world and his walk on the earth that led to Him saving us! He may be God but He wouldn’t be our God without our need of Him.
In Revelation 4, it mentions God created us for His enjoyment. Not to torture us. Satan does that. But to enjoy us as sons and daughters. Join the family today by believing Jesus died for you, rose for you, and saves you from your sin nature. Now go tell three people you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord and Savior and welcome to the family! Find a church family and use a Bible App until you get a Bible. Read the word, it’s the only sure way you can get to know God quickly.
Feel free to message me with questions and for prayer.

by on

GWENDOLYN

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She raised her champagne glass amongst her closest friends and said, “Here’s to 18 you ponies, I’m finally free!” The gals, guys, and nons toasted to her declaration by clanging their champagne glasses against each others. Then they sipped on the top dollar champagne Gwendolyn’s points could buy.

The Lounge was the place to hang out for the Synthesizers and the Elect (the unemployed and/or in occupation training for the Private Sector) in New Haven Public. The Night Club sat on the edge of the Public Sector, right at the walled border of the Private Sector. Inside, the walls were gray washed wooden panels. Jade marble floors with various cracks of gold. From the ceiling, hung green and clear glass bottle shaped lights that made it just decent enough to see two feet in front of you.

There was a long, black countertop bar to sit at, with black cushion top stools, on silver poles styled like barber chairs, bolted to the ground. In the center of the club, were black sectional lounge couches and chairs, with glass end tables to set drinks down. In the far back corner, across from the entrance and far from the bar, was a good size dance floor that had strobing, flashing neon lights pulsing to the beat of the music.

Monroe, Gwenie’s fabulous queer male bff, snuggled up beside her at the bar on an adjacent bar stool and asked, “Who will be joining us in the bedroom tonight?”

“What do you mean us?” Gwen smirked sipping on her bubbly treat in a glass.

“We always hook up on your birthday… it’s tradition. But you’re 18 now, so we have to make it interesting. No offense, but I’m bored with just you and me.” Monroe explained.

Eye-ing a male-like brunette at the end of the bar, wearing wire, aviator style eye-glasses. Who Monroe picked out was definitely Gwenie’s type male or female, but Gwenie wasn’t sure who she wanted to take home tonight.

She just broke up with Ness, who was the longest romantic relationship she had. Granted, it was only three months long, but she only had sex with Ness, which is huge because Gwenie didn’t believe in monogamy, but Ness did. They’d still be together if it were up to Gwendylon, but Ness decided at her final ID Synthesis Evaluation she was heterosexual, not bisexual. And although she was madly in love with Gwenie, she wanted to fall in love with a man.

Maybe it was best they broke up. Gwenie was fascinated with the Synthesizer process. As an offspring to a Philosopher and a Healer in the Private Sector, she couldn’t undergo ID Synthesis even though she really wanted to.

It used to be under debate during the Digital Age, Pre-Age-of-Chaos, that gender was psychological. Then they discovered for some people, it was biological. Shortly thereafter, regardless of what science had to say, gender became decision no matter what one’s psychological view of themselves was or what one’s biological make up was. What one decided to be gender wise, whether that was thought, feeling, or biology, that was what one became, and whoever had the money to pay for the process to transition, did.

That’s when everyone got the idea to raise theybies. Parents raised their kids to be gender neutral and let them decide around the age four or five what gender they wanted to be, and then just before puberty, they would begin the process to transition from one gender to the other.

Years later, this led to mass suicides, along with young people dying of sudden heart failure. The hormone therapy the trans kids would take as children, severely damaged their hearts, and later in life they needed heart transplants or they died of sudden heart-attacks. Suicides occurred because they regretted their choices from childhood. They wanted to transition back, but they either didn’t have the money or when they did, they were unsatisfied they still weren’t their gender from birth… they were eunuchs and not intentionally.

Because of this dark history, and because the Private Sector was the future of the Society, the kids were raised the gender they were at birth. Now, if a child was born as both sexes, the child was taken from the parents and placed in a Sanctuary amongst the Protected to undergo ID Synthesis later in life.

Now, Private Sector Kids weren’t discouraged from exploring their sexuality, but there was this expectation, they would get married, and have heirs to carry-on the legacy of their families. For the kids who identified more as gay or as lesbian, usually chose to be bi. They would marry the opposite sex, but would have any type of gender partner on the side. Polygamy was legal, but more of a Public practice than a Private one.

“Ooo, it looks like Mr. Delicious showed up after all.” Monroe said referring to Jon.

Gwenie leaped off the bar stool and stood on her toes waving to Jon outrageously. She called out to Jon. He noticed her and made his way across the high end lounge to greet her.

Quickly, she hugged him lingering a long time. Monroe joined the hug, but Jon jumped when Monroe groped his butt and that made the trio disperse.

“Who are you?!” Jon spun around to face Monroe, “And how do you identify?” He added holding out his hand appearing frazzled from being touched without giving permission.

“Sorry,” Monroe cringed. Lightly shaking Jon’s hands by the fingers, “I’m Monroe, Gwenie’s BFF, and I’m a black queer man, who is a bisexual none.”

“I’m Jon. A-,” and without getting the chance to state how he identified, Monroe interjected.

“A Synthesizer. I know all about you honey.”

Gwenie angrily glared at Monroe.

“And that stink eye is my cue to go. I’m gonna get my pony-butt out of here and go talk to that fine young man over there.” Monroe headed over to the brunette conquest he pointed out to Gwenie earlier.

“I’m sorry about Monroe. He has no boundaries. Both of his parents are Policymakers so he never has to worry about fines or convictions.” Gwenie’s excuse for her friend’s behavior didn’t make things less awkward. She held up her glass to Jon, “Care for some champagne, it’s on me?”

“No thank you.” Jon answered.

Gwenie sat back down a little disappointed. Jon politely took a seat beside her. He added, “I’ve been reading some ancient texts about how sacred the body is and we shouldn’t poison it with gluttony and by drunkardness.” Jon clarified why he said no.

“Have you ever gotten drunk, or high?” Gwenie questioned.

“No.”

“You have had sex though, right?”

“Yes.”

“With more than one person?”

“No.”

“Well, that can change tonight… if you want it to?” And not letting him answer, she grabbed him by both hands and dragged him over to the dance corner. Once they crossed the sound barrier the music blared so loud it was hard to hear one’s thoughts. It was amazing how technology worked nowadays. The entire lounge was quiet so people can hear each other talk, while the dance corner looked like people danced under lights with no music. After crossing the shield that looked like the air in the space you were in, you broke through the sound silencer, and stepped into the party scene.

Gwenie made sure to dance provocatively with Jon, and he didn’t mind when she groped him in places she had no business doing so. But when she would get close to him, he would back away.

She understood he was her father’s apprentice, and if her father ever caught Jon on top of her naked, Jon could kiss his training goodbye. Though Jon was training to become a Philosopher, he wouldn’t be a member of the Private Sector until he completed his training, accepted onto the Philosophy Panel, and sworn in by the Policymakers. That meant he couldn’t touch Gwenie naked for a while. She actually wasn’t sure how long the process would take. A new Philosopher hasn’t been sworn into the Panel for over 20 years, way before her time.

Jon fled the dance floor and escaped to the bathroom. Gwenie found a couple of other guys to dance with, which one of them or both of them, were going home with her tonight. If she couldn’t have Jon tonight, she was going to have someone like him… well… at least some type of manly male.

KYL

Who was Gwendolyn kidding? She found the best deal. Male in appearance, but still physically a woman. Gwenie couldn’t let her BFF down either. She chose Monroe and the brunette, Kyl, to come home with her for the night. Though Kyl played along with Monroe, it was obvious the whole time he was into Gwenie.

Monroe, wasn’t a cuddler, so he saw himself out after the fun was over. Kyl, however, stayed and snuggled all night.

They stayed up talking for a while. His six month evaluation was in two days, like Jon’s. And all he could talk about was Nix, his best bud from the Sanctuary. Nix was who he lost his virginity to and though he didn’t like having sex as a woman, he loved being with Nix. He didn’t understand why, it confused him.

“That’s because you’re in love with Nix, duh.” Gwenie stated the obvious.

“But Nix could never love me like this and no offensive to him, but I won’t love him as a man. Not my type at all.”

“When do you get hormone therapy?”

“Not until my final evaluation, after I complete ID Synthesis. I have to be confident of my choice.”

“So, you like being with women and you consider yourself straight?”

“I have for the last six months… but every once and while there are some guys that are just gorgeous… I don’t get why we have to live with labels.”

“They tried living without labels before… remember? It led to total chaos!” Gwenie giggled. Kyl joined in the laughter.

“You maybe wouldn’t let me take you out on a date sometime… would you?” Kyl asked staring at her eyes locked on each other as they lied there on the bed facing inward.

“I told myself I wasn’t going to date Synthesizers anymore. My last relationship ended badly… plus… I could see myself falling for you hard…. which I don’t think is bad.” Exhaling, Gwenie sat up bringing her knees to cover her chest. “But my brother Garrison is married to a former Synthesizer and though Bailey is a woman now-,” freaked out Kyl cut Gwenie off as he jolted to sit up.

“Wait, Bailey Angelcrest is your sister-in-law?!” Kyl panickedly asked.

“Yes…”

“Bailey’s my sister!” Kyl hurried out of the bed and quickly got dressed to leave.

“Relax, were not related… no big deal…”

“No, it’s not that… But she might think I hooked up with you on purpose to piss her off.”

Curious, Gwen lied down on her stomach and bent her knees, crossing her ankles in the air, and she asked, “Why would she think you would sleep with her sister-in-law to piss her off?”

“She came to me last month asking me to donate my eggs to her.”

“Freaky! My brother came to be asking if I would be his surrogate last week. Not like any time soon. After I like get married and have my own kid or something. Still not seeing how us having sex conflicts with their plans?”

“It doesn’t… It’s just family is really important to Bailey and if we ever got to a non-talking basis, it would really upset her.”

Gwenie slowly got up and sat on her knees wrapping herself in the blue sheet. “Then how about we don’t date and we don’t hookup again. No one has to know this ever happened.”

“Okay.”

REUNION

Holding hands with their fingers intertwined, Gwenie escorted Kyl to the door. The front door opened unexpectedly as Jon rushed inside, abruptly colliding with the two. Immediately, Kyl expressed immense joy to see Jon and leaped to wrap him in a hug and to kiss him on the cheek. Gwenie observed how Jon wasn’t offended by this man hugging him intimately.

Still lingering in their embrace, Jon mentioned it was very good to see Kyl, but he referred to him as Lore.

“My father isn’t up yet. Why don’t the two of you go to the sitting room and catch up?” Gwenie suggested.

“I have to set up for my session with the Philosopher. I-,” Jon tried to make excuses, but Gwenie took them away.

“I’ll take care of it. I’ll get Helga to bring you some coffee.” Gwenie said glaring at Jon making it clear he would sit with Kyl and catch up.

Reluctantly, Jon handed his army green messenger bag to Gwenie, and he took Kyl by the hand and he led Kyl down the hall to the sitting room.

Gwenie observed how feminine Kyl was with Jon as to where Kyl was quite masculine with her. Maybe Kyl wasn’t male or female, maybe he was gender queer…

KEEPING PROMISES

Upstairs in her father’s study, the largest room in the entire mansion, was filled from the floor to the ceiling with shelves of books. The was also an additional room with hundreds of servers only Philosophers had access to for their studies, and the offsite access portals were carefully guarded in each Philosopher’s home. It was said the world’s history of perspectives on life, was housed in the homes of the current Philosophers. After all, it was their duty to give the Society guidance on how to live life, and to offer a compass of morality to a growing grave gray world.

Gwenie pulled the sacred text out of Jon’s bag that he was assigned to study. Holy Bible. She was shocked her father let it leave the house. At one time, the Holy Bible was the number one sold book in the world, and everything in it was believed to be true or used to understand truths about the human psyche. Two old religions used the Bible or some form of it. Judaism and Christianity. The Qu’ran was written after the Bible, though there used to be debate about that. But Islam was hijacked from Christianity and Judaism, and it was a very different version of God depicted then in the other two religions. Though Judaism didn’t accept Christianity, Christianity was an extension of Judaism. The Bible caused a lot of famous wars throughout the history of humanity.

Gwenie was not supposed to know this much about the Bible. She’s not allowed to touch it, let alone look at it. Every Bible and any variation of it (Judaism and Islam Texts) were destroyed and only one copy of each translation was kept, divided amongst the Philosophers.

She thought it was strange the Bible seemed weathered and used. The edges and corner seemed charred like it was pulled from a fire. That was when Gwenie noticed the Code and Conduct of New Haven Philosophers was in the bag too. That leather bound book was crisp and fresh, looking like new. To play it safe, Gwenie stuck the Bible back in the bag, and, but the book that was clearly her father’s she placed on the desk.

Then she hung his bag on the lone standing, black iron coat rack, by the door. From the closet, she pulled out two yoga mats and laid them on the floor by the fire place. On the mantle, she lit the incense, and told Plexa, the House A.I., to play meditation music and to dim the lights.

As she walked by the coat rack, going to leave, the lights flickered, the music cut off, and the messenger bag fell onto the floor open, allowing the Holy Bible to fling out and to flip open. Pages from the ancient text starred up at Gwenie resting at her feet. Curiosity drew her to take a knee before the ancient book and to peer inside. The words nearly jumped off the page as she read:

God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son to save them. That whosoever should believe in the son, should have everlasting life. For he came to save the world, not to judge it.

Her heart raced extremely fast causing blood to rush to her head, and causing her temples to pulsate. An energy she never felt before, even while mediating, invaded the room. It was different than all the other energies. It was electric, yet warm, and it was peaceful.

What does it mean to be saved? She thought.

Then suddenly she felt like an awful, wretched person who needed to be recused from her filthiness. Though she couldn’t define what it was about her that was dirty, but she felt stained to her soul and she wanted her soul made clean.

Not really understanding why, she whispered, “Son of God, save me. I believe in the son and that he came for me.” Freaked out she covered her mouth with her hands. Then she recalled a memory from her childhood.

A memory of her grandfather, her mother’s father, who was also a Philosopher. One day, he came to visit, just after Gwenie’s sixth birthday. He was arguing with her father about a new policy in this very den. The door was cracked open and she listened from the outside in the hallway with her brother.

Her father got upset and fled the study angrily. Gwenie and Garrison remained hidden to avoid punishment from their father. Garrison ran off to his room once their father made it down the long winding staircase, but Gwenie boldly went inside to see her grandfather.

When the old man noticed her, he hunched over to meet her eye level. She hugged his neck and kissed him on the cheek. She asked him what the fight was about. As he stood back up he sighed, and said, “Well, mankind is trying to erase God, and well, frankly, I don’t want any part of it.”

“Who is God?” Little Gwenie asked.

“When you’re older, the Philosopher’s will tell you God is the Universe or some collective consciousness inside of you. That you are a god and that meditating and spirit guides will help you find life’s answers… But that’s just making the latent power of your soul strong so you can’t hear the Spirit of God to learn the truth.”

Little Gwenie understood nothing the old man meant, but she asked a simple question anyway, “What is the truth?”

“That there is one way to God and it isn’t within yourself. His name is Jesus, He is the Son of God, and when you believe in Him, He saves your soul. Until you know Jesus, you’re a Sinner… a dirty person not clean enough to spend forever with God. But because God loved us, and still loves all us dirty people, he sent Jesus to save us. And when we believe in Jesus, we aren’t judged to die, we are gifted eternal life, which is a life beyond this one.”

“Oh…” Gwenie tried her best to get it.

Surprisingly swiftly, her grandfather picked her up off the ground and rested her on his hip. He looked at her face to face, “If you ever read the truth, and the Spirit of God shows up, trust your heart and believe in Jesus. You may lose your life here, but you’ll gain your life forever, and trust me Gwenie, it’s worth it. Promise me you’ll do your best to trust and believe when the Holy Spirit invites you to know God through Jesus?”

Connecting with her present reality she realized what was happening. As her heart said yes to the truth, yes to the Son of God, and yes to the Spirit of God, the all encompassing energy went from around her to being inside of her, and how dirty she felt on the inside disappeared and she felt clean.

A euphoria better than an orgasm on molly flushed her whole being and a giant sense of peace filled her soul to the core. She had never felt like this in her entire existence! She wanted to tell everyone about this Son of God from the Holy Bible, when a still small voice said, “Not yet… you must fulfill your ministry before you can tell anyone you believe.”

And she wasn’t creeped out by this voice. She knew that she knew that she knew it was the voice of God. Hurriedly, she picked up the Bible and stuffed it back in Jon’s bag and rehung it on the rack.

The meditation music started playing again and she left the room.

Jon looked like a happy little kid on Xmas Morning. He took Gwenie by the arms in the hall and shook her excitedly, as he exclaimed, “Lore wants to stay friends! We’re meeting up at the Lounge tonight to be wing-buddies!”

Gwenie brushed his arms away by swooping her forearms in a circular motion. “Do you even know what wing-buddies are?”

“We share me wings and drinks… I don’t know. I don’t care. I’ve just been pray-,” Jon suddenly fell silent. He stuttered to finish his thought, “I me- I go- I do- I- I-…” he sighed.

Gwenie patted him on the stomach and said, “Enjoy some wings on me, I got a feeling you won’t soar as a wing-buddy. Your game is weak.” As she walked away she brushed her pointer finger from his stomach to his back and followed her instinct to trace a fish-like symbol of his left shoulder behind his heart. “You’re all set up in the study,” she added.

Quickly, he turned to face her and his eyes bugged out, “You’re a be- be-,” he stuttered again.

Gwenie put her pointer finger over her lips and hushed him to keep their secret. That was her way of telling him she believed in Jesus. She didn’t know why it was important to him, but she just knew that it was. She winked at him as she spun away from Jon.

The Philosopher came out of his room, separate from the Healer, dressed in loose soft tan pants, and a white V-neck T-shirt. His graying black hair put up in a man bun. His gray and white beard long like Santa Claus’s full. As usual he was barefoot with teal nail polish on his toes. He wore beaded bracelets that matched the burnt orange prayer beads around his neck.

As Gwenie passed her father by, she stopped to hug him and to kiss him on the lips. He said good morning to her and wished her a happy day. When he saw Jon in the hallway, he snapped in his sassy, effeminate voice for Jon to meet him in the study.

Note from the Author

Soon I’ll post a video about what happened between Part 1 and Part 2 that isn’t written to read.

I’ll confess…I brought Jesus into this faster than I originally planned.

If you have any questions, feel free to comment or to send me a message. I kindly ask you keep it as positive as possible though, yet still being honestly you.

See you for part three next week!

 

by on

NIX

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The 4th Commencement of Collective 85 finally arrived. Nix and Lore anticipated this day for eons.

Early in the morning, when they were supposed to be meditating, the two were making plans when they returned home to their families. At mid-day, during their lunch break, they would discuss what they imagined living outside the Sanctuary and amongst the Society.

Lore would loudly express zirs (his/her) lude sexual desires with anyone zie (he/she)  could imagine. Feeling slightly bad, Lore would apologize to Nix, claiming zie wasn’t a bad sex partner, but made it clear finding partners by choice and not assignment would be a welcomed changed. Nix would always pretend to agree even though zie loved Lore very much and couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, sexually.

In the evening, just after dinner, during their evening run and sometimes bike ride, they would talk about what type of identity they wanted for themselves.

In the Sanctuary, everything is gender neutral. The clothing, the names, the pronouns, the titles, the décor, and identity is viewed collectively not individually. In the past, children were free to choose gender at the age 4 or 5, and it worked for a while. Or so the society at the time thought… But that generation, the Generation of Theybies, were the most clinically depressed, most suicidal, heavily drug addicted, cruelest generation to walk the earth in the history of all histories.

After the Age of Chaos, and the Era of Peace dawned, the Society was restricted. It is the Society’s philosophy all are free to become who they desire to be, but a system was established to ensure the well-being of everyone.

Society was divided into three levels: Private>>>Public>>>Protected. Private consists of the Society’s leaders, healers, philosophers, policymakers, business owners, and taskmasters, and their offspring. The Public made up every adult (and children up to the age of 3) not in a profession reserved for the Private Level. The Protected are the offspring of the Public, reared from age 3 to age 16 in Sanctuaries.

At age 16, after commencement in the month of their birth, the Protected become Synthesizers, placed in the Private Level or the Public Level based on occupation placement, and undergo ID Synthesis: the Process of Gender and Sexual Orientation Selection.

Research has shown, to live a productive life, each person needs a settled sense of who they are and how they identify. Failing to solidify this identity early on, could lead to a mid-life crisis, failure to succeed professionally and personally increases the risk to be a danger to self and to others due to more mental health issues and destructive behaviors.

Synthesizers are within the age bracket of 16 to 18, unless they have extensions to complete their I.D.S. Every 3 months, they meet with their Evaluator, meeting at the Sanctuary where they were raised, and receive consultation during their journey to become who they choose to be. Not everyone completes ID Synthesis within two years. Every applicant can get up to four extensions, one year each, but if they fail to complete ID Synthesis in year six, it is ruled they must remain gender neutral and stay as a Protected member of the Society. They become caretakers to the next generation of Protected children.

Lore jokes sie would go mad reverting back to the cage of the Sanctuary after tasting the freedom of the Public. Lore most likely would just miss hooking up freely. Protected adults abstain from sexual activity, or get assigned as sex partners when a month has an uneven amount of collective members.

Nix and Lore didn’t explore their sexual feelings together until a few months ago. Up until then they flew solo in that department because Lore would cry every time they tried. That’s when Nix would be the dominate one, but after Caretaker Everett assessed Lore needed to be the dominate one to be comfortable, it’s been easier to be together. Lore still doesn’t enjoy it as much as Nix, which is odd, because Lore talks about sex all the time.

The reason Sanctuaries assign sex partners at age 13 is to reduce the risk of spreading sexually transmitted infections. Having one partner greatly decreases those chances. Also, no one expects kids to practice safe sex when they are overwhelmed by flooding hormones. Videos are provided when sex partners get bored of each other.

Though Nix was glad to walk across this stage on the 30th of April, sie realized unless Lore wanted to, sie will never kiss Lore again. Nix will never snuggle the night away with Lore’s body against hirs. As the Sanctuary Chancellor raises Nix’s right hand high, the Collective of 85, Months 5 thru 12, cheered in the auditorium. A portrait of Nix appeared on the holoscreen behind sie and the Chancellor. Then sie bowed to thank the Chancellor for approval, pivoted smoothly as practiced and walked off the stage.

Next was Lore. Nix stood offstage in Lore’s sight. Shining the biggest smile of encouragement Nix could offer Lore, such a gesture appeared to give Lore some peace as sie graced the platform. A portrait of Lore laughing flashed on the holoscreen as the Chancellor raised hirs hand and the crowd cheered. After Lore bowed to the leader of the Sanctuary gratefully, Lore darted offstage and leaped into Nix’s arms, and unexpectedly kisses Nix with plenty of tongue.

The moment literally stole Nix’s breath, but also captivated hirs heart. Sie thought last night was their last moment of intimacy. Sneaking out of Nix’s embrace, Lore patted Nix on the shoulder and said, “Don’t ever expect that to happen again.”

“One can dream, right?” Nix raised a brow playfully.

Lore pushed Nix to move and barked, “Only in your dreams from now on!”

Then they were directed to the waiting room of the discharge ward. One by one, everyone was called by their date of birth, surname, time of birth, and Sanctuary name. The Sanctuary name for Nix was Blue Nix and Lore was Sage Lore.

Nix rested hirs head on Lore’s shoulder, enjoying the final sands of the hour glass with Lore. Lore rested hirs face upon Nix’s thick, blond hair. They needed no words. They simply enjoyed one another’s company even though they were not alone. Other 4s of Collective 85 anxiously awaited to be evaluated, to determine how they would each begin ID Synthesis.

“Promise me we’ll be in each others lives forever…” Nix stated demanding agreement from Lore.

“Only if you promise to love me for me and not as you see me…” Lore answered honestly.

“I already love you for you.” Nix said not understanding what Lore meant.

Evaluator Dayln, in a pristine white jumper, steps into the archway that leads to the evaluation room. “4/20/2085, Fenix, 7:07 pm, Blue Nix aka Nix.”

Nix jolted to sit up straight and even though time passed slowly, being called upon felt too soon. Sie took Lore by the hand and stared deep into hirs eyes, “Tomorrow night, don’t forget to meet at the steps of town hall.”

“I won’t forget.” Lore promised. “Midnight at town hall,” Lore smiled to reassure Nix.

Evaluator Dayln called for Nix again to hurry hirself along. Nix lets go of Lore’s hand then hurried over to Evaluator Dayln. Nix wonders how Evaluator Dayln would want to ID oneself amongst the Society.

Evaluator Dayln appeared feminine having a noticeably sized bosom Nix found hirself staring at, wondering what they looked like without being covered. When Evaluator Dayln cleared hirs throat, Nix snapped out of the realm of imagination and focused on reality.

Sitting in a white-walled room, with a random large window in it. A long silver table sat in the middle of the room with two silver square chairs. Each positioned across from each other.

Nix got directed to sit across from the window, while Evaluator Dayln sat with hirs back to the glass.

The questioning began slowly and then picked up. Nix sense of time still remained at a snail rate. Sie answered everything honestly though. Then the evaluation shifted when Evaluator Dayln gave an analysis based on Nix’s responses.

“Would it be accurate to say you feel male in gender and heterosexual in sexual orientation?” Evaluator Dayln asked with a stone solid face. Hirs hands clasped together by hirs fingers on top of the table. Nix wanted to ask hirs if sie felt female in gender and heterosexual in sexual orientation, but Nix knew that would be wrong.

Staring into Evaluator Dayln’s wide, brown eyes Nix answered, “Yes, I would say that I feel male and that I’m a heterosexual.”

“What religion do you best identify with?”

“Monotheistic… Or maybe… the Universe and we are one with it…. I’m not sure really.”

“Are you saying you are agnostic?”

“No,” Nix shook hirs head. “I just feel like we couldn’t all be here by accident. Someone or something had to make the big bang happen or put the dust particles in the sea or use the stardust to make us… Or maybe we just come from the earth, the dirt… However we got here I don’t know… I just want to know the One responsible for putting us here. I feel like it will give me meaning to my life.”

“How do you identify religiously?”

“Spiritual…” Nix grunted unsatisfied with hirs own answer.

“What first name have you selected for yourself?”

“My birth name, Jon… J-O-N, Jon.”

“And will you keep your Sanctuary last name to forge your own path or will you keep your Heredity last name?”

“Heredity last name, please… Fenix. I’m Jon Fenix.”

“You will be missed Blue Nix.” Evaluator Dayln cleared hirs throat. “Do you desire to begin your ID Synthesis as Jon Fenix, a caucasian heterosexual male, age 16, who is spiritual?”

“Yes, I do.”

JON

“Then congratulations Jon, you’re officially a Synthesizer.” Evaluator Dayln stood up, holding out hirs dark brown hand, hirs skin almost seemed black, and hirs short black hair appeared to look like wool. Jon wondered if hirs hair felt scratchy like wool, or if it was soft.

Evaluator Dayln escorted him out of the room and down the hall to the Releasing Area divided into three sections: Clothing Selection, Occupation Assignment, and Society Etiquette.

In the Clothing Selection Section, which was just a wall of clothes on a rack, there were loud colors to choose from. Anything and everything to choose from, but gray and black, which was all Jon wanted to wear. He selected a white t-shirt, some blue rough-feeling pants, brown, clunky boots that sort of look orange. He picked four more outfits of the same thing. The clerk told him he could pick out different things, but that was all he wanted to wear. The clerk advised him to pick a jacket or something to wear over his t-shirts for nighttime, when it got cooler. He picked out a checkered jacket with red and black squares the clerk called plaid.

In the Occupation Assignment Section, he stood before a counter with a glass wall between him and the clerk on the other side of the counter. Sie typed away on hirs holokeys, looking up in the system what \Jon tested into for work. Though he couldn’t seen hirs holoscreen, he knew sie wasn’t staring at space as hirs eyes dart side to side.

Without saying anything, the clerk walked away. Jon called out to hirs wanting to know what was going on, but he got no answer back. Before he could grow bored waiting, the clerk was back and sie told him to stick his right hand through the slit. Seconds later, the wall below the counter opened up with space big enough to fit his hand inside. A little weary, he sticks his hand through, and the clerk took a little black gun-like device, pressed against the skin in between his thumb and his pointer finger and a slight pinch inflicted his skin where the gun touched his hand. The clerk told him to remove his hand. As he did, the clerk gave him details about his occupation.

“Your employment is classified. You will find out more details tomorrow. A vehicle will arrive at your parents house to pick you up at 7 am. If anyone asks you what your job is say you are a janitor for the Law House in the Private Sector. Good-day.”

Jon rubbed his hand where the gun pinched him. He was amazed how there was no blood even though he knew he just got chipped. Chips were vital to Society members. All your points got downloaded onto the chip, and you needed points to buy everything. Chips were programmed to houses, giving you access in and out freely. Depending on where you worked, determined which areas you have access to enter. When you went to the doctor, they scanned your chip, and your whole medical history would pop up, along with a diagnostics of what was currently happening in your body.

Years ago, a chip was considered an invasion of someone’s personal space. But after the Age of Chaos, the Society agreed the chip was best. Jon heard that when you’re thinking suicidal thoughts, it alerts emergency services and a team comes to rescue you. This feature can be turned off Public and Private members of the Society, but Synthesizers have no choice. The feature is kept on during the most trying time of their lives.

In the Society Etiquette Section, Jon watched a short video how to be politically correct and non-offensive to fellow members. In the past, Pre-Age-of-Chaos and Post-Digital-Age, first world civilizations used non-offensive gender neutral terms like they, theirs, them, themselves, one, oneself, etc. However, for anyone who identified as female or male, they found it depressing to not be acknowledged as they chose to identify. Therefore, the Society decided using gender specific pronouns was okay, and in fact encouraged. Before you could call anyone by she or he appropriate pronouns, one had to find how they identified by asking upon introduction, “How do you identify?” Until you learn if someone is a he or a she, you still refer to them as a they or a sie. Anyone who identified as non-binary was rare, because non-binary people usually were employed by Sanctuaries. All Sanctuary Employees live on campuses.

Jon was given a black (a color he liked) duffle bag to put his new clothes in. Inside the duffle bag was a clear plastic bag with a stuffed fox animal- a child’s toy. A blue blanket for an infant that had his name “Jon” etched into the fabric in the corner.  And a blue and purple sippy cup. His parents  must of dropped him off to the Sanctuary with those things.

Next, he was escorted down a long hallway by two guards. Some new Synthesizers get anxiety about leaving the Sanctuary after commencement and try to break back inside. They’re given 72 hours and three more attempts to leave. If they fail the third time, they are forever classified as Protected and undergo training immediately to be employed at a Sanctuary.

Jon didn’t want to go back. He was a little nervous about leaving, but that was mainly because he wasn’t sure if he would ever see Lore again, and everything within him longed to see Lore again.

BEAR, WOLF, & JON

The bright light of the outdoors made Jon squint his eyes until they adjusted. He heard a large crowd cheering. All the parents, and friends and family (of the parents of 4/85), watched the commencement from outside the Sanctuary. Now they wait for their child to be released. The parents were called up to the gate when their child was about to exit, so they could meet face to face.

It’s not like parents never see their children. Parents can visit as often as they want during visiting hours, and Jon’s parents came every week, at least twice, sometimes thrice.  He couldn’t call them mom and dad though, and he didn’t like calling them by their names. So he called his mom Bear, because she was protective like a mama bear, and he called his dad Wolf, because he was so loyal to his mom.

Jaya—Bear—Mom held her arms wide open and called out, “Blue!” as Jon stepped through open gate. He rushed to swoop him in her arms as she embraced him. Murphy—Wolf—Dad joined in making it a group hug affair.

Growing up, Jon wished he looked more like his mom and not his dad. She had beautiful caramel skin, jet black hair, and big, black eyes. His dad had pale white skin, narrow blue eyes, and blondish brown hair. Jaya’s great grandparents were both Asian Indian. Her grandfather was Asian Indian, and her father was half-Asian Indian and half-white. Her mother was part black and mostly white.

As they all came out of their hug feeling warm and fuzzy, Jon corrected Jaya about his name, “Please, call me Jon.”

Excited that he chose his birth name. Jaya stretched upward on her tippy toes to kiss him on each cheek while Murphy slapped him on the back.

The rest of the day went great. They showed him where town hall was. They had dinner at Jaya’s and Murphy’s favorite restaurant. Then they went home and showed Jon his room. The walls were dark gray. The bedding was light gray and his furniture was black. He loved it.

They all sat in the living room watching home movies of them as family when Jon was a toddler. Murphy would go into detail narrating each clip. Jaya cried a lot. Any question Jon had, they answered. It felt so great to be home and wonderful to be with them.

Even though he didn’t need it, they both tucked him into bed. Jaya sat at the foot of the bed while his dad leaned against the post of the doorway.  Jaya pulled his covers up over his chest to ensure he would stay warm.

“Where do they have you working?” Murphy asked crossing his arms over his chest.

“Um, as a Janitor for the Law House.”

“For Town Hall you mean?” Jaya wondered thinking her son is mistaken.

“No,” Jon said firmly, “A Janitor for the Law House.”

The Town Hall was for every day affairs for the Local Public within the Society for New Haven. The Law House was for the entirety of the Society across the world, located in the Private Sector of New Haven.

Jaya looked at Murphy and they shared a long stare. As if they could talk to each other in the silence through their facial expressions. Jaya broke the stare when she rose up and leaned over to kiss Jon on the forehead.

“This will be the only night I tuck you in.”

“Why?” Jon jokingly whined.

She rustled her pointed nose with Jon’s similar nose and they both laughed under their breath. “Goodnight,” she said standing up all the way.

“Goodnight mom.”

She got teary-eyed and she held her hands over her heart, “I love to hear you call me that.” She wiped her tears with her pointer finger and then she left the room, patting Murphy on the shoulder as she walked out.

Murphy went over to Jon and kissed him on the forehead. “It is very good to have you home son, I love you.”

“You and mom don’t believe me about my occupation, do you?”

“You say you’re a Janitor at the Law House, that’s what we proudly tell the neighbors. Now goodnight.”

“I love you too, dad. Goodnight.”

Murphy told the lights to turn off and they did making everything go black. Jon laid there in bed staring at the ceiling. At night was when he pondered the most if there was a God.

In the Sanctuary, everyone is taught is that everyone is part of the collective consciousness and that god comes from within. That there are spirit guides that can come and help people. All a person has to do is mediate properly and master yoga. To Jon, none of that information seemed right.

During free time, Jon was allowed to study different religions none of them seemed right. Plus, none of them were the religions practiced in the past. The Philosophers got together and designed religions that would keep peace amongst the Society. There’s either Monotheism, Pantheism, or Collectivism. Monotheism branches out into two belief systems: Universalism, where the Universe is god, and Theism, where some higher power is in control. Pantheism has two branches as well, Gnosticism, where the flesh is bad and the spirit is good, and multiple gods hide their path of truth in symbols, signs, and various literature. And then Paganism, where people can practice dark or light magic to speak to the spirits the roam the earth and communicate to the different gods. And Collectivism was taught in Sanctuaries, in the past it was New Agism or Metaphysical Practices.

The Philosophers took the best out of all the world’s religions and combined new books to help explore and navigate the ideologies and truths of these new religions. There are three options if you choose not to believe in any of the six choices: None (believe in nothing but humanity and science), Agnostic, or Spiritual.

Jon felt like there was another way to believe and he was going to find out what that way of believing was… He fell asleep thinking about what another God out there may be like.

Note from the Author

Some of the content of this story may be disturbing for some of my blog followers. That’s okay, hopefully, you know me well enough to know what I’m up to here. If you’re new to the blog, feel free to check out my other posts to get a sense of who I am. And if you don’t like what you read on those other posts, hopefully, that won’t stop you from reading this story if you find it interesting.

Thanks for stoping by and joining the journey!

Much love,

Bri

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